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Michael_3165

Trivial Things That Annoy You...

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Apologies if this is a thread that is already in circulation. Search is being temperamental.

So what trivial things annoy you? Stupid things that shouldn't matter but do...

Mine are:

People coughing without covering their mouth. I don't want to smell manky breath!

The term 'political correctness gone mad'. No its kindness and compassion gone mad... 

TV commercials. Stop it! I don't want to buy your junk.

Those piddly portions that you get at expensive restaurants then get home and have to eat more food!

Bottled water. No. I won't pay for something I can get out of a tap. 

 

 

 

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Currently, it's Great Western Railway's delay compensation scheme, the vegan thread, the quality of mid-morning radio, the vegan thread, daylight savings and the vegan thread. 

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8 minutes ago, HarmonicGenerator said:

Chewing noises

My old manager would chew with his mouth open making as much noise as possible but only when he wasn't central in the conversation.

There's a bloke now who sounds like a farmyard animal over lunch and he makes it worse by laughing really loud at his phone mid chew before a loud 'ohohmmm' as he shovels in another mouthful to serenade the room with. 

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5 minutes ago, air_raid said:

Young people.

Sorry about th.... oh.

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- Cunts who don’t so much as lift a finger to acknowledge that I’ve just let them out at a junction (mostly a London issue).

- The growing introduction of street slang in my office. “It’s calm” and “It’s bless” being the most common with some of our freshest recruits. The former can at least be used in a different context when describing a situation that has been relieved of any previous tensions, but the second one, when uttered, just makes me want to spit in their face to show my true disgust.

- When people at work use the phrase “Look forward” in their emails and the subliminal messaging therein, i.e “Good luck and I look forward to seeing an update later this evening” or “Thanks Fatty, that’s great, looking foreward to seeing the videos.” Which effectively means keep me updated so I can scoop up the praise thereafter, or get your shit done and then get back to me. It absolutely boils my piss. I am looking forward to going home. I’m looking forward to my 30th, Christmas and New Year. I’m looking forward to the Mrs coming back from seeing her cousin so we can experience relations. I’m looking forward to Super Showdown. You are NOT looking forward to seeing an update from me, because how is that something to look forward to? You’re not looking forward to an email, are you? You are NOT looking forward to seeing my work because A) You never watch them, and B) The only videos you’re looking forward to watching are the same dirty videos as the rest of us on Pornhub when you get home, you’ve got the digs to yourself and you’ll wind up in a masterbatory coma with a thumb up your bottom and a greasy belly. Those are actual things to look forward to. Stop abusing the saying. 

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@Fatty Facesitter Yeah, management at my gaffe "look forward" to stuff from me later too. Thankfully my immediate manager, on paper at least, is one of my best mates and sits next to me so when I get one from him "looking forward" to something I just look to my right and say "Oh, you can fuck off, Chris." And when the people "looking forward" to stuff are above us, we've become remarkably adept at blagging it.

One that gets me is when the marketing gimp says in meetings that the (visits, sales, conversation) figures the day before were "a bit soft." Say it like it is, it went tits up.

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Also people copying every fucker into emails. Just pick up the phone and talk to me reasonably!

People saying literally when it is anything but LITERAL. 'I literally burnt to death in that boiling car'.... no but I wish you had! 

Being asked 'are you sure?'... yes love I am sure, otherwise I wouldn't have said it!

Edited by Michael_3165

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The phrase 'Touch base'. Ergh.

People who bang on about game of thrones as if it's the only show on TV.

Claudia Winkleman.

People who don't provide WiFi codes. 

Shoelaces that snap.

That vegan thread.

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9 minutes ago, Wideload90 said:

The phrase 'Touch base'. Ergh.

That’s another to add to the new sayings that are cropping up at my gaff. That and “Co-sign.” 

Not to make this more of a work thread (I do actually love my job!), but when you go through something in detail with someone about a project and they go “Great, I’ll relay that back to my team.” You’re not in a relay, you’re in an office you pleb. Also it means you’ve taken none of that information in, you’ll try and regurgitate (sp?) a small percentage of what I just said back to your team, but you’ll confuse them because you were zoning out, so they’ll ask you to come back to me and clarify, at which point you’ll come back to my desk right when I’m in the middle of my Morrisons pasta salad for lunch, and you’ll say you’re sorry to bother me when actually you’re not, and we’ll do the dance again until I just go “I’ll put it in an email mate.” 

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- People trying to scrounge money off me. From the chuggers I try my best to avoid. To the weird guy with a tattooed face at the bus station. Just fuck off and leave me alone. I can't be arsed with the awkward interaction.

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