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Michael_3165

Trivial Things That Annoy You...

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I'll chuck in 'Horizon-scan' and 'Let's take this offline' from work, both of which my prick of a boss says.

The word 'chillax', and whichever git taught my children to say it.

Paul Hollywood's handshakes on Bake Off and why my wife has to yelp in excitement whenever he shakes anyone's hand.

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14 minutes ago, Grecian said:

I'll chuck in 'Horizon-scan' and 'Let's take this offline' from work, both of which my prick of a boss says.

The word 'chillax', and whichever git taught my children to say it.

Paul Hollywood's handshakes on Bake Off and why my wife has to yelp in excitement whenever he shakes anyone's hand.

"Going forward" and "in terms of" are basically now so over-used at my work that they're on a par with punctuation.

When someone in the office turns to you and says "what are you doing in terms of lunch", shit's gone too far.

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New one, particularly pertinent to myself, typing in the nosebleeds at Wembley right now - 40something or older blokes who shout very concise things at the football. Like, not exasperated involuntary expulsions (this is the only emotion I link to football right now) like "Out!" or "Come on!" or "DAVIES' BALL, FUCK SAKE" but like, considered actual instructions as though the players (manager, ref, assistants) can hear them. There is a bloke sat near me, literally as far from pitchside as Wembley gets ; his back is to the wall. And he's shouting "Can we get a proper referee, please?" and "Two nil's not a winning score, boys!" - nobody can hear you, you utter fuckwit! Who are these men that think their voice carries that far??? Is this for the entertainment of other fans? Am I supposed to nod in agreement as the lummox two rows back bellows "You've got to move it quicker, boys! Don't let them settle on the ball!" at the top of his voice? Mystifying.

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5 minutes ago, air_raid said:

New one, particularly pertinent to myself, typing in the nosebleeds at Wembley right now - 40something or older blokes who shout very concise things at the football. Like, not exasperated involuntary expulsions (this is the only emotion I link to football right now) like "Out!" or "Come on!" or "DAVIES' BALL, FUCK SAKE" but like, considered actual instructions as though the players (manager, ref, assistants) can hear them. There is a bloke sat near me, literally as far from pitchside as Wembley gets ; his back is to the wall. And he's shouting "Can we get a proper referee, please?" and "Two nil's not a winning score, boys!" - nobody can hear you, you utter fuckwit! Who are these men that think their voice carries that far??? Is this for the entertainment of other fans? Am I supposed to nod in agreement as the lummox two rows back bellows "You've got to move it quicker, boys! Don't let them settle on the ball!" at the top of his voice? Mystifying.

Americans who clap after a film finishes at the cinema ...

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6 minutes ago, air_raid said:

New one, particularly pertinent to myself, typing in the nosebleeds at Wembley right now - 40something or older blokes who shout very concise things at the football. Like, not exasperated involuntary expulsions (this is the only emotion I link to football right now) like "Out!" or "Come on!" or "DAVIES' BALL, FUCK SAKE" but like, considered actual instructions as though the players (manager, ref, assistants) can hear them. There is a bloke sat near me, literally as far from pitchside as Wembley gets ; his back is to the wall. And he's shouting "Can we get a proper referee, please?" and "Two nil's not a winning score, boys!" - nobody can hear you, you utter fuckwit! Who are these men that think their voice carries that far??? Is this for the entertainment of other fans? Am I supposed to nod in agreement as the lummox two rows back bellows "You've got to move it quicker, boys! Don't let them settle on the ball!" at the top of his voice? Mystifying.

Count yourself lucky you aren't a boxing fan.  Loads of out of shape blokes throwing jabs and straights at an invisible opponent to coach the athlete in the ring.

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40 minutes ago, Grecian said:

Let's take this offline

I hate that. That and calling every meeting a 'jour fixe', because all these people meeting in a meeting room can't just be called a meeting was infuriating on my project last year. The fact people used it for one off things made it clear they were both idiots and cunts. 

Edited by Tommy!

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Just now, Your Fight Site said:

People who think “being proud to be British” and remaining in the EU are mutually exclusive.

People who are proud to be British.

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This one might be a bit niche, but ...

People that use the term 'Crispy Boy' to describe American Light Lager (like Bud Light or Coors Light). Eurrghh!

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Going to start with a few online ones that annoy the piss out of me.

- People who post selfies every fucking day

- People who put up pictures of themselves looking soulful or doing yoga etc with the caption being some fluff advice or quote that deep down doesn't make any sense

- People who do the above but actually spend the time to write the quote stick it on a photo of themselves through photo editing software and post it online thinking they are important enough to do that. Fuck people who are inspirational don't do that themselves so just fuck right off.

- People who do the above but with other peoples quotes

Offline

- Restaurants not having things on the menu in with no justifiable reason apart from the kitchen is run by a bunch of twats.

-Electronics shops who think I need them to set up my new product and then do a horrible job of choosing the settings and software. Had to reset my new laptop before using as the fuckers had put all this Vietnamese designed shit onto the computer when my back was turned as they refused to give me the product without setting it up.

- People in public places playing music or videos through their speakers on their phones instead of using headphones. I never want to hear your music and i'm sure you don't want to hear mine, just buy a pair of cheap headphones and keep it too yourself.

- People who pay for 1 drink in a busy pub with a card

- Men in the gym who go round like a group of muppets all taking it in turns to use the same machine and pat each other on the back

- People who sit on machines like chairs in the gym to use their phone and rest

-Slang terms like Famalam instead of family, Squad instead of my friends, and Goals, anyone who puts a noun followed by goals needs shooting.

I'll stop there for now.

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12 hours ago, Fatty Facesitter said:

you’ll say you’re sorry to bother me when actually you’re not

This. Every day at work - "I'm sorry to bother you, I know you're really busy..." or "I'm sorry to bother you, I know you're on lunch...", which is invariably followed by, "but could you just do/help me do this menial task". You're not sorry you're bothering me, and acknowledging that I'm already busy doing make me any less busy or give me any more time to do what you're asking me.

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