Autism

[Keith Houchen]

Good to see you got diagnosed! As you say it’s not a surprise what with the family. My partner is certain I have some form of ADHD/ADD and I should seek a diagnosis but I feel at my age what’s the point?  As she says there is medication that can help but I am unsure about it. I’ve probably just given up to be honest. 
 

Do let us know how you get on, will be interested in how you do. 

[Hannibal Scorch]

17 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

Good to see you got diagnosed! As you say it’s not a surprise what with the family. My partner is certain I have some form of ADHD/ADD and I should seek a diagnosis but I feel at my age what’s the point?  As she says there is medication that can help but I am unsure about it. I’ve probably just given up to be honest. 
 

Do let us know how you get on, will be interested in how you do. 

Thank you. I’m 39 and when I first approached my doctor about it some years back he refused to refer me because “You’ve survived this long and you won’t get any disability benefits” (I’m sure I’ve told this before, but whatever). For me it’s more about now I know why I’m such a weirdo, I can accept it, but also see what I can do to better myself. Tbf my wife, who by all accounts is the only neurotypical one in the house, has done so much work, going to courses and reading books, she’s brilliant. She also has known all my quirks for the last 18 years and is very supportive in allowing me to do things in ways that help. 
 

My brother who is 5 years younger and we’re all convinced is Autistic feels the same as you do though. However since discussing my assessment he’s having second thoughts and may have one himself. But for me, it was more a peace of mind thing. Haven’t discussed it with work, however they have always been helpful in accommodating me up to now (due to my kids) and so I don’t think anything will need to change. But I think it’s a very personal choice on whether to get assessed or not. 

[Jazzy G]

It's entirely this. As I said in another thread the other day, it felt like such a huge weight off when I knew it wasn't something "wrong" with me. Yes, it brought about the end of my relationship and a huge shift in how I feel about relationships in general, but I'm also realising that there are ways I can deal with problems I'd been having in the past, and realising WHY they're problems. I also suspect I may also have ADHD, or at the very least there's a big crossover in those traits, but right now I just don't feel like I could go through that process as well. 

[I Bent My Wookie]

It feels weird to say congrats on getting your diagnosis but I guess I mean in the sense you didn't stop fighting for it. Chasing mine for a few years was exhausting and has put me off further things people want to check on because of how stressful the process became for me.

I'm in a bit of an Autism spiral at the moment. I've reapplied for University to start my PhD (my favourite part of my autism is that it has given me a hyper fixation on children's television through history to a point I want to change the way media is used) alongside working full time doing my cooking as my stress release happy place.

After a winter in hospitality where I ended up ill and having to now take 2 weeks holiday to just relax as it's my birthday this last week I'm trying to do everything I can to give myself the clearest head.

I know a lot of people swear by doing daily task lists and diary planning and all that, but if you happen to do this and are in here, to what level do you find a good medium? I worry that I used to think I'd have to plan every minute of my day including when I eat and sleep and it ended up actually making me eat and sleep less. Is it one of these things where it's trial and error?

I've basically been shite looking after myself for like 11 years now and it's time to step up, stop making excuses and take some account for my life and health even if it means ripping up the notebook and starting again with how things make me feel better or worse.

For example a friend at work (honestly the most supportive place I've worked - see 2 weeks paid holiday just off Xmas rush) suggested looking at loop ear plugs as they soften the decibel level and pans crashing in a kitchen when my pot wash has given up the will to live can cause a sensory meltdown for me. So I've got 3 pairs at different levels on order ready for different situations so that I feel less spooked outdoors.

[Joe Blog]

12 minutes ago, Shy Dad said:

I've basically been shite looking after myself for like 11 years now and it's time to step up, stop making excuses and take some account for my life and health even if it means ripping up the notebook and starting again with how things make me feel better or worse.

This is a really important aspect. I have had struggles with mental health for years and you really do have to be proactive, medication and the such will help no doubt but you have to want to move forward and it took me a long while to realise that. I still struggle but I also realise it won’t fox itself if I don’t put in the effort as well. It’s not easy but it can be done and every step forward is an achievement. Good for you on doing this. 
 

 

[Hannibal Scorch]

15 minutes ago, Shy Dad said:

 

For example a friend at work (honestly the most supportive place I've worked - see 2 weeks paid holiday just off Xmas rush) suggested looking at loop ear plugs as they soften the decibel level and pans crashing in a kitchen when my pot wash has given up the will to live can cause a sensory meltdown for me. So I've got 3 pairs at different levels on order ready for different situations so that I feel less spooked outdoors.

Thank you for your thanks. As for Loop, I just got some (Christmas delayed them for a while). I got the engage and bought some tips with the mute piece to add the extra sound limitation. Only used without the mute, but found them comfortable and did a good job. I tried some flare (calmer) earplugs and sent them back as didn't notice a difference.

[patiirc]

A series of events recently has meant that I've finally been put forward for both ADHD and Autism diagnoses.

That and possible Autophobia and undiagnosed EUPD would explain why I was a total asshole at times.

The relief is phenomenal as I've now got names for things I've struggled for years, and more importantly can start to manage them

Does anyone have any good pods, or YouTube channels to  ASD or ADHD things.

Cheers

 

 

[Hannibal Scorch]

14 hours ago, patiirc said:

A series of events recently has meant that I've finally been put forward for both ADHD and Autism diagnoses.

That and possible Autophobia and undiagnosed EUPD would explain why I was a total asshole at times.

The relief is phenomenal as I've now got names for things I've struggled for years, and more importantly can start to manage them

Does anyone have any good pods, or YouTube channels to  ASD or ADHD things.

Cheers

 

 

Personally i would suggest holding off on watching any YT or listening to podcasts. Reason I say that is I think if you go into a screening or assessment clued up on cues or obvious characteristics, that could affect your output. I didn’t search anything out regarding ADHD as I wanted to go in without any particular thoughts in my head. But you do you, I’m not an expert.

[patiirc]

5 hours ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Personally i would suggest holding off on watching any YT or listening to podcasts. Reason I say that is I think if you go into a screening or assessment clued up on cues or obvious characteristics, that could affect your output. I didn’t search anything out regarding ADHD as I wanted to go in without any particular thoughts in my head. But you do you, I’m not an expert.

 Unfortunately, diagnosis could be a while off.

Sadly I don't have the luxury of ignorance at the moment as I'm recovering from my 3rd suicide attempt in 12 months .

I don't want to end up there again and both have come up as possible factors in the repeat, hence referrals.

I'm at a bit of a loss hence asking for pointers 

 

[Hannibal Scorch]

4 hours ago, patiirc said:

 Unfortunately, diagnosis could be a while off.

Sadly I don't have the luxury of ignorance at the moment as I'm recovering from my 3rd suicide attempt in 12 months .

I don't want to end up there again and both have come up as possible factors in the repeat, hence referrals.

I'm at a bit of a loss hence asking for pointers 

 

Whilst it’s awful to go through trying to unalive yourself, I don’t know what you’re looking for. Without a diagnosis you won’t be able to get any medication for ADHD, and I’m not sure what other help you can get. And I’ve not seen any content that can help with coping as much as discussing what ADHD could do, and like Autism there is no one size fits all, so it depends on the type of ADHD to how it affects you. I’m not sure what autophobia or EUPD are. I typed ADHD into Apple Podcasts and found the ADHD Adults podcast. Some episodes discuss traits that affect me so they are the ones I’ve listened to first.

[patiirc]

8 hours ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Whilst it’s awful to go through trying to unalive yourself, I don’t know what you’re looking for. Without a diagnosis you won’t be able to get any medication for ADHD, and I’m not sure what other help you can get. And I’ve not seen any content that can help with coping as much as discussing what ADHD could do, and like Autism there is no one size fits all, so it depends on the type of ADHD to how it affects you. I’m not sure what autophobia or EUPD are. I typed ADHD into Apple Podcasts and found the ADHD Adults podcast. Some episodes discuss traits that affect me so they are the ones I’ve listened to first.

Thanks lovely

Autophobia is the fear of being  left alone, causes constant anxiety. I know the triggers for that and learning how to deal with

EUPD is emotionally unstable personality disorder, used to be BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder 

There's lots of conmorbidities in those 4 things, I'll try and see what's what.

[Mr_Danger]

My second oldest has been assessed and told she’s almost certainly on the spectrum. She’s 10 and suffered a very traumatic event a few years ago and little quirks she always had have become quite big traits in these last few years. One thing I have found is that her mum is an amateur Google psychologist and will openly discuss her opinions on things she thinks my daughter has and then my daughter being 10 and thinking the world of her mum will amplify these traits a lot more. She started ticking, a lot, and it was obvious that she couldn’t help these tics but they were becoming very exaggerated and it got to a point where she was absolutely shattered all the time. I mentioned some bollocks article about watching too much TikTok making tics worse and her needing to cut back on her viewing (yes I know bad parent, shouldn’t even be watching in the first place) and she cut them down almost immediately. It’s a fine balance between wanting to discuss everything openly and normalising everything and not causing her physical and emotional distress.

Excuse my ignorance on the subject matter, it’s early days and I’m nowhere near clued up and she hasn’t even had a full diagnosis.

[Jazzy G]

I attended a health/work event at the local job centre yesterday (always a difficult sensory experience for me), but it was still a little productive.

The people my job coach asked me to see specifically said they didn't think I was ready for their service yet, but that once I was they'd more than likely be able to help me into a job in logistics given my experience and skills. 

I also spoke to an organisation called Andy's Man Club which provides peer to peer support. It just sounds like somewhere to go to have somebody to talk to. It might be good to check out sometime. 

I also spoke to a lady from an organisation called re:fresh/Care Network, and she said she wanted to speak to autistic people to better understand our needs in order to improve the services and support they can provide. She also me tioned something about possibly volunteering in group sessions they have, but I was starting to get a little overwhelmed by all the noise and activity around me. Anyway, I'm meeting her at their shop/unit in town opposite the library on Tuesday morning to talk about it further. I don't know how the job centre or ESA will react, but I have an appointment with my job coach (who's also called Jazz) on Wednesday anyway. I see it as another opportunity to get used to being around different people again, which will hopefully help me to get a little closer to returning to work. 

It's been a busy week. Anxiety was getting pretty high yesterday, but I think it was because I was getting burned out. 

@patiircsome autism/adhd channels I watch on YouTube are Purple Ella, Yo Samdy Sam, Neurodivergent Rebel, Asperger's From The Inside, and The Aspie World. I'd say to steer clear of videos that go into too much detail about the diagnosis/assessment process as it may lead you to try and act a certain way, even if unconsciously to try and get the outcome you want, but at the same time it can sometimes help to have a little inkling of what to expect. They do all provide great content about their experiences, coping methods and the like. Worth watching. Hopefully you're not waiting too long for your assessment. Try not to think about it too much (easier said than done) and if the assessment does turn out the way you expect there'll also be a lot of "what if?" about things in the past you used to dismiss, which you may now realise were neurodivergent traits. 

Edited January 13, 2023 by jazzygeofferz

[SuperBacon]

@jazzygeofferz You mentioned ESA (I don't know if you're on UC as well, you don't have to say if you don't want to) but your work coach should be OK with your volunteering, as long as you tell them all about it, and you're still meeting your job searching "commitments" 

It shouldn't (shouldn't being the operative word as things change all the time) affect your money. Good luck.

[Jazzy G]

They've not been rushing me into any kind of job hunting yet, just checking on my wellbeing. It's quite a relief because if they were on my case about looking for a job I'd probably have had a breakdown by now. I got denied PIP back in November, but to-be honest I never thought I'd get it in the first place because I'm too "capable"