Autism

[Hannibal Scorch]

2 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

My girlfriend really seems to be more comfortable in her own skin since her diagnosis but one thing she’s noticed in the online groups she’s in is the amount of people self diagnosed. 
 

Now, it’s not so much the self diagnosing that I find distasteful, it’s appropriating a disability.  It’s them saying “I’m autistic” as opposed to “I think I’m autistic”. I’m told self diagnosing is a good step on your journey to getting a proper diagnosis, but it’s like these people have made it part of their identity. To the point where a number of them have been told by medical professionals that they don’t have ASD but they refuse to accept it. They’ll accept the other things the experts say, such as they have ADHD but they aren’t happy until they’re diagnosed with ASD. Some are even going private because the three times they’ve gone through the NHS they haven’t got the result they wanted. 
 

I know it’s a bit old man yells at cloud but why self diagnose a disability and a neurological condition? I mean if someone said they had Parkinson’s because they read a blog and did an online test, I’d tell them to get a professional opinion. 
 

I also understand that someone may not want to go through the stress and hassle, and of course the waiting time to get diagnosed and that’s fine, totally up to them. I just don’t think they should say they’re autistic. Getting diagnosed means you can access the help and officially be recognised which opens up assistance. 
 

I can’t help but think that a small amount of people are appropriating neuro diversity because they don’t want to be “Normal”. 

I understand your frustration. My children have both been diagnosed officially. I’ve been told by one of their paediatricians they believe I am. My wife is also to the point she will refer to me as such. The only time I was “diagnosed” was at Uni when I was asked if I needed help due to my dyslexia due to issues I had with deciphering information .
 

I have been guilty of it myself, But it makes me feel uncomfortable because I don’t have that bit of paper. I think I’ve mentioned here before my doctor fobbed me off due to my age, and I have been recommended a local organisation who maybe able to help, but it’s really put me off.  So I believe myself to be, other people believe that I am, but that’s about as comfortable as I feel.

more to your point, I’ve also heard people say I think I’m a bit autistic in relation to thinks and had to explain that’s not how it works. It’s also been challenging explain to some people both children are Autistic because whilst my son is non verbal and global development delayed, my daughter has none of the same issues, so therefore she can’t be. And I’d like to think that’s more to do with not understanding what Autism is and what it consists of. And we were ignorant to it really until you are in that situation.

Edited June 26, 2022 by Hannibal Scorch

[Keith Houchen]

Yeah I hear that. I apparently show a few traits of conditions that overlap with ASD, and thinking back to childhood there were things that my girlfriend describes as “A bit autisticy” but I’d never say I’m autistic. 
 

It’s like dyslexia, some people are just shit spellers but they blame dyslexia despite no diagnosis. No, you aren’t autistic because you keep books in alphabetical order. 

[Keith Houchen]

We went to Cheshire Oaks shopping outlet mall today. One of the first things I saw was a poster saying how on Tuesday between 16:00 - 20:00 they have autism friendly shopping. The usual things of dimmed lights and quieter music etc, however they also give out noise cancelling headphones for anyone who wants them. We were too early for it but we went to their customer services and they gave my gf a set of headphones to use. Two things :-

First. She thought the headphones were incredible and a game changer. Unfortunately because they were like the headphones you get on planes in the sense they were a generic one size fits all deal, they started to hurt after a while. What are good quality adjustable ones for adults that are on the market?

Second. How brilliant was the hours set aside? Usually the deal is a shop has autism hour at 3am or some bollocks so to have a whole evening has certainly made us mindful of when to go for our next visit. 

[Hannibal Scorch]

3 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

We went to Cheshire Oaks shopping outlet mall today. One of the first things I saw was a poster saying how on Tuesday between 16:00 - 20:00 they have autism friendly shopping. The usual things of dimmed lights and quieter music etc, however they also give out noise cancelling headphones for anyone who wants them. We were too early for it but we went to their customer services and they gave my gf a set of headphones to use. Two things :-

First. She thought the headphones were incredible and a game changer. Unfortunately because they were like the headphones you get on planes in the sense they were a generic one size fits all deal, they started to hurt after a while. What are good quality adjustable ones for adults that are on the market?

Second. How brilliant was the hours set aside? Usually the deal is a shop has autism hour at 3am or some bollocks so to have a whole evening has certainly made us mindful of when to go for our next visit. 

Personally I just use regular ANC headphones. I have some JBL ones which are great, had them about 4 years. But I personally recommend over ear not on ear Headphones as it helps drown out the outside world.

And yes, those hours are great. Tuesday 10-11am at Home Bargains, Asda and Tesco for some reason.

[Monkee]

If I’m going out shopping I usually try and go early/very late to avoid crowds (one less thing to deal with). I knew some places do autism-friendly hours but had no idea that some places are now doing more than just an hour and provide headphones if needed. That’s brilliant!

As for headphones, I use my AirPods Pro at the moment even just for noise cancelling if I need to. I can’t wear over the head ones as they hurt my ears and, more importantly of course, mess my hair up. #HighMaintenance

Edit: I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism in March so everything’s a massive learning curve right now.

Edited August 10, 2022 by Monkee

[Keith Houchen]

15 minutes ago, Monkee said:

As for headphones, I use my AirPods Pro at the moment even just for noise cancelling if I need to. 

She was using in ear noise cancelling buds but she has an ear infection at the moment so can’t wear them. She thinks in ear phones cause it so she is looking for over ear, the ones @Hannibal Scorch recommend sound just the ticket so will look at them or something similar!

[deathrey]

51 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

She was using in ear noise cancelling buds but she has an ear infection at the moment so can’t wear them. She thinks in ear phones cause it so she is looking for over ear.

She's probably spot on. I used to work at a call centre when I was a student and I had and unfortunately still have the same issue with ear infections and the GP said it was due to the headphones not letting enough air in to my ears and thus causing infections.

[SuperBacon]

100% in-ear phones cause infection. I suffer terribly whenever I use them.

I sit on the ED&I group at work, and i saw something a while back (think it was from Sky) and was to do with 'hotdesking' and how this affects neurodiverse people (with routines, stability etc)

It was a very small thing, but where there is a neurodiverse member of staff, who likes to have their own desk, space, chair etc. it's a very simple sign that says "Please keep this desk free so that it can be saved for a member of the staff that needs it routinely"

This was designed with the relevant members of staff, and may seem like a small thing, but it's just a simple effective change that might make a big difference to some people. 

I can't tell you what an absolute shit fit I throw when someone that isn't based at my office rocks up and sits at "my" desk, so I can only imagine how difficult it is for people that need a regular routine.

It's been adopted by my company which is great, and with ever changing ways of working, I'm proud that is has been.

[Monkee]

23 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

This was designed with the relevant members of staff, and may seem like a small thing, but it's just a simple effective change that might make a big difference to some people. 

I can't tell you what an absolute shit fit I throw when someone that isn't based at my office rocks up and sits at "my" desk, so I can only imagine how difficult it is for people that need a regular routine.

I HATE hot-desking and, in a previous job, a great manager I only had for a short time made sure I had two monitors which then meant I had to sit at a permanent desk. I used to be made fun of in that job because of “how particular” I was about my desk. I don’t like people sitting in my chair, using my things or touching my desk. Everything has to be in order, in its place and as I want it.

It’s still really difficult for me to acknowledge that this isn’t me being anal or possessive or over-sensitive or even difficult. Since March I have gotten upset a few times about past experiences and how I was made to feel like I was going mad or I was a bad person for behaving in a particular way. It’s really hard to change that mindset and I guess I’m sad at what might’ve been if I’d been diagnosed sooner.

[SuperBacon]

Hotdesking is a load of shit to be honest, and isn't very inclusive as demonstrated by what you've said.

In theory, it should be all about if you WANT to move around, you can, not that you should be on the move all the time.

One of the senior managers visited a few weeks ago and said "you know it's a hot desk environment and yet you are all sat in the same seats when I come"

No shit Marcus, I specifically visited the new office a week before we moved and scoped out the best seat where no one can see what I'm doing!!!

I suppose is companies will insist on it, making it as inclusive and comfortable for all as possible is the very least they can do.

[Wideload90]

Hotdesking is for Tory voters.

I work in education and ensuring people have particular seating etc. is an easy win to ensure people are comfortable, regardless of need.

I've yet to meet somebody who actively pursues hotdesking. It's unnecessary. 

[deathrey]

I have what can probably be categorised as germ-phobic anxiety and I honestly freak the fuck out when other people used my desk/stuff at work. I've always sanitised everything and carry stuff like antibacterial wipes around with me. When Covid first started and everyone was going nuts with the sanatising, that's basically how I've lived most my adult life. Hot desking would honestly be my worst nightmare, I would look to leave any job that bought it in. Working from home has really made all that anxiety so much easier for me.

[Chest Rockwell]

What is all this nonsense I'm reading? The purpose of hotdesking is so that you can have less desks than people. It's necessary more than ever if people actually want to keep working from home.

Yes, people with particular needs should be accommodated. Of course. But for anyone who can do it it should be encouraged.

[Keith Houchen]

1 hour ago, Chest Rockwell said:

What is all this nonsense I'm reading? The purpose of hotdesking is so that you can have less desks than people. It's necessary more than ever if people actually want to keep working from home.

Yes, people with particular needs should be accommodated. Of course. But for anyone who can do it it should be encouraged.

I hot-desked for the first nine months of a job because there were more team members than desks. I was the only one who did it though and never really felt part of the team. I was always told I was next in line for a desk but transfers between teams always took precedence over me. They did have part time workers and a great system where if you clocked up enough hours over a fortnight you had a set day off but for 3 days out of 5, I wasn’t sat with my team. I understood it was necessary though and once we moved to a bigger office I got my own desk, but it was shit. 

[Hannibal Scorch]

I got a diagnosis for Autism and ADHD just before Christmas. The lady who did my assessment was shocked I’d gone this long with no one picking (it did get picked up in my last year of Uni but I didn’t have the money to get accessed, though it was suggested Dyslexia rather then Autism or ADHD). Anyway, the Autism wasn’t a huge shock after my son and daughter (we’re very similar) had their diagnosis's, but the ADHD one was a shock. I don’t know enough about meds to know if I want to go down that route (my sister in law does take ADHD medication but not seen her since). I have started listening to a podcast about ADHD but is anyone in a similar situation or knows of any FB groups/forums etc which are useful?