simonworden Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Make sure the fucker is well greased up. I found during my hernia surgery they were pretty lacking on the old ky. That was for an enema end but it hurt like hell getting it in there as it just wasn't lubed up. Tiny spout it was I've had girl stick a pinky in before with less fuss! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted May 19, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 19, 2017 (edited) 3 hours ago, Astro Hollywood said: I wasn't that nervous about my colonoscopy, until I saw the IMAX logo above the door. recycling my twitter jokes 4u I'm still a big fan of that Hannibal Lecter one; I've incorporated into my social repertoire (credit given to you, of course). Edited May 19, 2017 by Carbomb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted May 19, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 19, 2017 Had an endoscopy in 2011 and tough guy here decides I didn't need a local aneesthetic. Wound up in the foetal position, crying, after two failed insertion attempts, drooling into some sort of cup placed at the side of my mouth while an old woman was rubbing my head saying "Now, now, son. You're doing brilliant." I then sharted and we all knew what had happened but nobody mentioned it, so on top of the sore throat I had nappy rash to contend with. I truly dread the day I'm in for a colonoscopy, coz it happens to us all, doesn't it? I always wondered though, does it rub off the supposed g-spot with that weird discomfort or is it just plain sore? And Monkee, that is incredible!!! Incredible! I'll listen to Hanks on what's probably my fave edition of the Nerdist podcast on the way home now out of respect!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted May 19, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 19, 2017 12 minutes ago, Scott Malbranque said: I truly dread the day I'm in for a colonoscopy, coz it happens to us all, doesn't it? I'm calling bullshit on this, given your tea towel holder obsession I can't fathom you not being utterly intrigued in having one done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 He's probably already having one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted May 19, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 19, 2017 Genuinely lads, I don't think I'd be able. I had a finger up there once and it wasn't erotic in the slightest. It just felt like I had a constant need to do me toilets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 He's obviously been hacked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladiesman345 Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 I've never had an issue with putting things up my arse by myself, but anybody else doing it makes me feel like crying, not because it's painful, just because I feel violated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted May 19, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 19, 2017 On 10/05/2017 at 11:05 AM, Scott Malbranque said: I take ignorant, mutant size plops that regularly take three flushes and a stick..... You'd have been proud of me the other night. It was like the classic policeman's truncheon, both in length and thickness. I was beaming to myself until I realised that there was no way on earth the flushing system was even going to dent it. Afterwards I became all introspective, trying to picture just how far up inside me it had been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted May 20, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 20, 2017 I've had to have a cystoscopy (that's where they insert the flexible camera up your urethra) at least once a year since I had my cancer removed in 2010. The first year, I had to have four. The next year, two, and from the third year onwards, thankfully just the one. If I reach fifteen years without it having reappeared, I'll probably be downgraded to not needing them at all. Not pleasant at all, having a camera shoved up your joy department, even with anaesthetic lube. Wrecks your bladder ring-piece for the rest of the day, and you're constantly fighting the sensation of wanting to go for a pee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ReturnOfTheMack Posted May 20, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 20, 2017 I had an endoscopy and a rigid sigmoidoscopy (up the arse), down the throat was the worst by a long way. On the subject of pooing, I had a massive dump at work the other day and the sheer force of it somehow pushed it down the u bend before I even flushed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted May 20, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 20, 2017 I once has my prostate examined by someone who I'm pretty sure was Dr Bunsen Honeydew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Monkee Posted May 20, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 20, 2017 I had an endoscopy for a hiatus hernia and it was brutal. I have a very sensitive gag reflex anyway and sometimes even heave when I'm brushing my teeth so this was just hell for me. I burst all the blood vessels in my eyes from having it done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Guys this is a PSA. Get over to Twitter ASAP. Walkers have got a comp on that basically takes a tweeted face and puts it in the ad and they're showing all of them including Rolf, Stalin, Fritzl quick before it gets shut down https://twitter.com/walkers_crisps/status/867742474810384385 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted May 25, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 25, 2017 I've already seen a Purple Aki one retweeted in my timeline. Companies really don't think this through, do they?? Or...perhaps they do. Gets them trending innit. I've watched plenty of Ianucci shows over the years to know that publicity is publicity. Our world is now just leaks, tweets and clickbait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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