SuperBacon Posted August 29, 2022 Share Posted August 29, 2022 Went to look for football shirts in Staines, but everything on the rail was fake (one Spurs shirt had a Primark tag, another Italy had a Barca etc) but some guy was in there filming an expose on the shop. He kept saying to his phone for the video "I'm @fakeshirtraider" which I've looked up and doesn't exist. He ended up buying about 10 and then it cut to a front room (not mine) where the man was now @Keith Houchen (it wasn't him in the shop) who proceeded to show me his haul. Included the 91 Spurs yellow kit (616 Matt on the back) a couple of Spain (unspecified) and a Reebok era Argentina shirt (red and black striped???) with a really grubby neck. When I pointed this out, he told me he would wash it in a bath of Daz and vinegar. I also kept saying "can't believe I missed those!!!" and "I only came out looking for shirts today!!!" in the hope he'd feel sorry for me, but I woke up before he did. I like to think he would've. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted August 29, 2022 Share Posted August 29, 2022 He wouldn’t. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted October 13, 2022 Share Posted October 13, 2022 Went to see Idles with @Merzbow(I know he wouldn't) but his face kept morphing into Andrew WK. I suddenly wasnt with him in the crowd, but watching him from the stage (maybe I was in the band?) He kept shouting "I'm 21!!!" over and over whilst pogoing, and then I woke up. I dream about this place way too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merzbow Posted October 13, 2022 Share Posted October 13, 2022 Weirdly enough I looked liked him at 21... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hallicks Posted November 26, 2022 Share Posted November 26, 2022 I was at work (at a job I left years ago) and was suddenly naked. Covering my bits with hands, I was able to get into the lift. I thought I might be dreaming, so I thought “if I start slapping myself, it won’t feel real so I can wake up.” So I start slapping my naked tummy, but it feels real as anything and I can’t believe it. So then the lift opens and I’m strolling through the atrium bollock naked, and some guy picks me up by the sole of my foot and delivers a slam onto the hard floor and then I wake up. After being nakedly foot-slammed. Cheers, subconscious me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenryck Pilchards Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Last night I dreamt that The Rock broke the world record for the world's longest uninterrupted fart for an incredible four minutes, beating the previous record set by Andre The Giant in the 1980's who clocked in an impressive 3.31. After waking up I immediately looked up to see what the actual record is and of course it is Mr Methane with 2.46. A few nights ago I had a dream I was in a hotel room and the Big Show and Chris Jericho walked in complaining of constipation. I suggested to them why don't they take grip of each other's troublesome loaves and have a 'tod of war' which cracked up Y2J to no end. I need help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted December 25, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted December 25, 2022 I was in a nightclub, possibly to meet someone that I used to work with, but the car park was actually in the club so I had to actually drive around people and wait for for them to open doors for you. Anyway, the workmate no-shows, but I bump into Jacqueline Pearce. I figure I've nothing to lose, so I ask her out, and she says yes. I get a drink from the bar (the newly launched Smirnoff Earth), and by the time I get back, someone's mentioned Ruth Madoc to her. So we have the whole Liza Minelli /Servalan haircut conversation, and Jacqueline promptly dumps me. Women, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted January 5, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted January 5, 2023 Rishi Sunak held a press conference in the local Safeway to announce there’s no such thing as sequels. When people would name sequels, Jacob Rees-Mogg would say they weren’t. This included Terminator 2 and Commando 2 which in his defence doesn’t exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted January 5, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted January 5, 2023 Often wake up between 3-4AM and read @Astro HollywoodPatreon for a bit before nodding back off. Dreamt I appeared in Sinderella 3. I'll stick with the news next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 Had a dream last night where I was in the show Greys Anatomy. I was working at the front desk when a silent and stern looking @Scott Malbranquewalked up and handed me a letter. He glared at me as I opened it. The letter said he had won a competition that allowed him to, and I quote, “Hairy Ape me once”. Meredith Grey took the letter from me, studied it, and said “This holds up, he is allowed to Hairy Ape you but just the once”. The unblinking, unspeaking Branquefurter carried on staring at me the whole time as she read it. After she handed the letter back to Le Branque (who never averted his steely gaze) he started following me around the hospital, grabbing my arse are trying to grope my balls. All the time never speaking, blinking, or smiling. I woke up with a hard on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted February 23, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted February 23, 2023 Genuinely - hand to soul - next to figuring out how to handily get hard Weetabix off a bowl, reading that is the proudest I've felt since the birth of my daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted May 7, 2023 Share Posted May 7, 2023 I dreamt last night that I waterboarded someone (unidentified) with my slow drip coffee pot. Be a good way to go to be fair. I have been rewatching It's Always Sunny again and this is quite Dennis behaviour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jazzy G Posted May 8, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted May 8, 2023 A lot of the dreams I'd been remembering recently are about my ex. Just things like bumping into her in places, and it being really civil. Always freaks me out when I wake up, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted May 9, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted May 9, 2023 I don't sleep well anymore. Basically an hour at a time out of every 90 minutes. Last night I actually slept for 4 hours straight for the first time in about 3 years. The dream I remember was weird. I was the moderator of a three person panel at the University of Southern California. We were discussing the role of Holy Roman Emperor Charles V in the European religious wars of the 1520s onwards. On the panel were TV presenter Rylan, comedian Al Murray, TV presenter AJ Odudu and the boxing referee Howard Foster. Only Howard knew his stuff it was a shit show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Fatty Facesitter Posted May 9, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted May 9, 2023 Dreamt last night that I was working in the same office as Finn Balor and that I'd accidentally sent out a work-wide email calling him workshy scum when it came to some of the more administrative parts of our wider duties. He'd seen it and wanted to meet up to discuss it (and probably beat me up). We were in the middle of an awkward mediation meeting, for some reason taking place with our manager on a basketball court, before I woke up. I've been over-analysing every email that copies in different people all day to make sure I don't catch anyone's wrath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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