Childhood Misconceptions

[gmoney]

When I was a boy, we had a tin of SMA milk powder that my dad repurposed as a tin for spare nails and screws. It had a picture on it of a baby, like the one below. 

At some point when i was still very young, I asked my mum if that was a picture of me. I don't know if she didn't understand my question because I didn't get across well at that age, or if she just felt like winding up a toddler, but she told me yes it was. So I internalised the belief that I was on tins of SMA milk powder, probably until I next encountered them, working in a supermarket when I was 16. I can remember about to tell a colleague that I used to be on tins of milk, stopped short of saying it out loud and deciding to check with my mum first when I got home. "What the fuck are you on about?" was roughly her reply. 

Not quite as firmly held, but probably as daft; I used to look at the cover of my brothers copy of Original Gangster by Ice T and think he was something to do with Hale & Pace's The Management characters.

Easy mistake. Over to you!

Edited May 20, 2024 by gmoney

[Devon Malcolm]

I think I've told this one before but it's worth repeating because of what a fucking little berk I was.

Until I was probably about 8 I thought the world used to be black and white. Because of the films. That bit in The Wizard of Oz where it becomes colourised? That's when I thought the world found colour.

Then I was watching the Laurel & Hardy film Saps at Sea one day and during one scene there's a can of paint labelled 'Red Paint' and then the penny dropped. I'm just thankful I never told anyone my theory because I'd definitely have had to move schools.

[BomberPat]

I was in a primary school assembly, and we were singing "The Lord Of The Dance". There's the line about the "scribe and the pharisee", and I understandably had no idea what those words meant. For some reason, because they "would not dance" and they preceded the fishermen in the lyrics, I imagined them as some kind of sea creatures. Thankfully that kind of thing doesn't come up much.

[Donald J Trump]

Someone told me Wrestling was fake when I was very young, and I didn't understand what they meant. For a while, I was convinced that Wrestling was some form of cartoon. 

[cobra_gordo]

As a kid I genuinely thought in the song "All Around The World" by Lisa Stansfield that the baby she'd been unable to find was her missing child. Similarly I thought the singer of Ace Of Base was referencing a particularly broody lady on "All That She Wants".

31 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Until I was probably about 8 I thought the world used to be black and white.

Same. I do remember being laughed at, probably age 6, by my grandparents because I asked what it was like when life was black and white. Turns out Pleasantville wasn't a documentary.

Edited May 20, 2024 by cobra_gordo

[King Coconut]

28 minutes ago, cobra_gordo said:

Ace Of Base was referencing a particularly broody lady on "All That She Wants".

Surely she is?

[air_raid]

I took a while to master the concept of age and the passing of time. My mum's friend asked me who was older out of myself and my friend Craig, and I said "Well, Craig used to be but I think I am now."

[deathrey]

36 minutes ago, cobra_gordo said:

As a kid I genuinely thought in the song "All Around The World" by Lisa Stansfield that the baby she'd been unable to find was her missing child. Similarly I thought the singer of Ace Of Base was referencing a particularly broody lady on "All That She Wants".

Well, I've just had to Google the Ace of Base fact because even reading the lyrics, I thought it was about a woman desperate for a baby.

[SuperBacon]

Pretty sure I've told this before but my Dad told my uncle was in the Thriller video as one of the monsters behind Michael, and of course I told absolutely everyone. I mean everyone*

Then when I was about 12 or 13 I mentioned it, and he replied "Oh yeah I forgot I told you that. Nah I was only kidding" Absolute nob.

He also told me that if you swallowed chewing gum it would wrap around your heart which isn't possible, but it took me a while to figure that out as well.

 

Edited May 20, 2024 by SuperBacon
*sorry I'm aware this isn't my misconception, just my Dad being a dick.

[Carbomb]

I thought 12 was the maximum age any human being could be - that they'd reach 12 years old, then stay that way. This was before I understood exactly how long a year was. I was about four at the time, and it probably seemed like such a large section of my life thus far was forever between birthdays to me, so I must've thought twelve of those would be pretty long.

My little sister had a couple of interesting ones: she thought we lived in Stornoway, because it would always appear on the weather, and she'd heard from so many adults how we all "live on an island"; hadn't occurred to her that the UK itself counted as an island.

She also thought for years that Gerry Adams was actually called "Sinn Féin", because every time he appeared on screen, it was following the newsreaders saying "Sinn Féin has announced [whatever]".

[Keith Houchen]

2 minutes ago, Carbomb said:

She also thought for years that Gerry Adams was actually called "Sinn Féin", because every time he appeared on screen, it was following the newsreaders saying "Sinn Féin has announced [whatever]".

Despite having family “Connections” I too thought Sinn was a person when I was a lad. Mind you I also thought the best footballer was called og because he seemed to score every week, and for multiple teams on the same day. 

[ReturnOfTheMack]

As a kid, up untill about the of 12, I couldn't figure out why so many animals were used in the Vietnam War. My grandad had so many videos about Vietnam vets returning to America.

[Wretch]

1 hour ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Until I was probably about 8 I thought the world used to be black and white. 

Same, but I was a bit older. I didn’t have a sudden realisation though, I somehow got talking to my da about it and he snapped, almost insulted he could have a son so thick and asked just how the fuck I think they played snooker in black and white.

[Keith Houchen]

3 minutes ago, Wretch said:

how the fuck I think they played snooker in black and white.

By having Ted Lowe telling them the pink is next to the green. 

[CharlesTuckerTheThird]

Apparently when I was young, I believed that, since I rumbled the headmaster of my primary school was Father Christmas at our Christmas Fair, that random adults were somehow chosen to be some sort of Avatar of Father Christmas. Weird kid, me.