Childhood Misconceptions

[SuperBacon]

4 minutes ago, CharlesTuckerTheThird said:

the headmaster of my primary school was Father Christmas

Wait, WHAT?????

[Chest Rockwell]

I've just remembered finding a dirty joke book in my parents' bedroom and being very confused by the word 'whorehouse' and finally coming to the conclusion that it must be some alternative spelling of warehouse as I couldn't fathom what else it could be. Needless to say the rest of the jokes involving that word (there were numerous) didn't make too much sense to me.

[Just Some Guy]

That animals were infallible.

My logic said that I'd never seen a horse trip over its own hooves.

In my own defence I was about 6 and this was a good 30 years before You Tube proved that animals rarely get anything right.

[air_raid]

19 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

I've just remembered finding a dirty joke book in my parents' bedroom and being very confused by the word 'whorehouse' and finally coming to the conclusion that it must be some alternative spelling of warehouse as I couldn't fathom what else it could be. Needless to say the rest of the jokes involving that word (there were numerous) didn't make too much sense to me.

This reminds me of an old Jasper Carrott sketch where he thinks "condo" is short for condom.

"Wanted : third male to share small condo, pets welcome."

[hallicks]

Inspired by numbers on football shirts, I thought there was a physical manifestation of a person’s age inside their back, like a white number on an old football shirt, sort of somehow wedged in there between skin and skeleton. It seemed plausible for young kids like me, but I always wondered how it worked when people got to 105 or something. I’ve never discussed this with anyone so I presume this is actually a thing as nobody’s told me otherwise. 

[King Coconut]

Some of you people are badly broken.

[mim731]

My wife since childhood until her 30s thought the line in Kiss From A Rose by Seal "To me you're like a real addiction" was actually "To me you're like a roller dictionary". She was convinced it was some sort of desktop rolodex type device but a dictionary. 

[FLips]

12 minutes ago, hallicks said:

Inspired by numbers on football shirts, I thought there was a physical manifestation of a person’s age inside their back, like a white number on an old football shirt, sort of somehow wedged in there between skin and skeleton. It seemed plausible for young kids like me, but I always wondered how it worked when people got to 105 or something. I’ve never discussed this with anyone so I presume this is actually a thing as nobody’s told me otherwise. 

Hallicks what are you talking about?

[SuperBacon]

13 minutes ago, hallicks said:

Inspired by numbers on football shirts, I thought there was a physical manifestation of a person’s age inside their back, like a white number on an old football shirt, sort of somehow wedged in there between skin and skeleton. It seemed plausible for young kids like me, but I always wondered how it worked when people got to 105 or something. I’ve never discussed this with anyone so I presume this is actually a thing as nobody’s told me otherwise. 

Fair play, this is absolutely mental mate.

[Merzbow]

4 minutes ago, King Coconut said:

Some of you people are badly broken.

This place has been a weird form of therapy for years now, we openly admit to things you wouldn't even hear on a Reddit confession.

[hallicks]

4 minutes ago, FLips said:

Hallicks what are you talking about?

Maybe I’m remembering it wrong. Perhaps it was a spiritual manifestation of your age. Yeah.

[SuperBacon]

5 minutes ago, Merzbow said:

This place has been a weird form of therapy for years now, we openly admit to things you wouldn't even hear on a Reddit confession.

I reckon one of the winners of a negative awards next year should have to do a Reddit style AMA. 

[DavidB6937]

I knew there would be some weird shit in here but fair play you've managed to exceed all expectations already.

[Carbomb]

something something poos at a different angle

[FLips]

What happens to the numbers? Do they change shape as we get older or do you excrete the old ones and birth new ones each birthday?