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Things that cheer you up


Carbomb

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The Flying Scotsman steam locomotive is 100 years old as of last Friday. Some things about this are absolutely mad - 

- It's 100 bastard years old. One. Hundred. Years. 
- It's STILL pulling trains on the mainline. How many things - things that actually move - are still doing exactly what they were built to do? 
- It's travelled to the USA, Canada, Australia and Norwich in its lifetime. A world tour and a half. 
- It was almost scrapped. Fucking Beeching. Yet, it lives! 

It's not everyone's cup of tea - it causes mayhem whenever it ventures out. I bloody love it though. What an invention. 
 

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This’ll sound minging but. 
 

I had a bath. Two weeks ago I had to have surgery on my balls. They told me I was ok to shower but to pat dry and not soak the area. Trouble is I don’t have a shower. They were surprised by this but told me I couldn’t have a bath until the stitches dissolve. I’ve had to wear a jock strap for a week and then I could have a gentleman’s wash and then get a flannel to wash everything else. It’s been horrible. I must have smelled like one of those Red Dwarf fans, or Forbidden Planet and Games Workshop clientele. 
 

Anyway, stitches have dissolved and I could finally have a proper soak. My mood has been lifted and I feel sort of human again. 

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It's my mate Daves birthday today. March 9th is also the day that the Notorious BIG died.

For the past 20 odd years I message him every birthday with "RIP Biggie" and he STILL loves it and it makes us both laugh like silly little kids.

Really cheers me up to know he appreciates it.

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Every time a celeb over the age of 80 or so dies, it's pretty much a race between me and my brother to see how quickly one of will message the other something along the lines of "taken too soon" or "so much left to give".

If it's a tyrant, despot, or other wrong'un, there's usually some variation of "with the angels now" or "they'll be doing [insert crime or historical wrongdoing here] in heaven now". 

It hasn't stopped being funny yet.

Edited by BomberPat
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3 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

It's my mate Daves birthday today. March 9th is also the day that the Notorious BIG died.

For the past 20 odd years I message him every birthday with "RIP Biggie" and he STILL loves it and it makes us both laugh like silly little kids.

Really cheers me up to know he appreciates it.

I used to work with a young guy whose birthday was on july 7th. The first time I asked when his birthday was he made a joke that it was the same day as the London bombings (which never would have occurred to me if he hadn't said it).

After that on his birthday I used to reference his joke and say happy London bombing anniversary which we always laughed at. 

Then one time years later he invited me out to celebrate his birthday with a group of his friends. I turned up and said happy London bombings anniversary and he acted really offended in front of his mates and said that I was out of order and it wasn't cool to say stuff like that.

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24 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

Every time a celeb over the age of 80 or so dies, it's pretty much a race between me and my brother to see how quickly one of will message the other something along the lines of "taken too soon" or "so much left to give".

If it's a tyrant, despot, or other wrong'un, there's usually some variation of "with the angels now" or "they'll be doing [insert crime or historical wrongdoing here in heaven now". 

It hasn't stopped being funny yet.

We have a similar thing, but it's more complicated than that. We went to see Bill Bailey many years ago, and as part of the show he sang a medley of songs in a cockney style. One of the songs in the medley was Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus. That sung in a cockney style contained the line, Bela Lugosi's Dead, I'll Have His Chips Then, and that made us laugh a lot.

So that stuck with us and now when anyone dies we will text each other for example Mystic Meg's dead I'll have her chips then, as happened today. First to text gets the chips. The rules are, no suicides, they will have eaten their chips, no fictional, and no non humans. Apart from that anyone is fair game, though not all are claimed. It was agreed for example that Thatcher could keep her chips. 

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7 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

We have a similar thing, but it's more complicated than that. We went to see Bill Bailey many years ago, and as part of the show he sang a medley of songs in a cockney style. One of the songs in the medley was Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus. That sung in a cockney style contained the line, Bela Lugosi's Dead, I'll Have His Chips Then, and that made us laugh a lot.

So that stuck with us and now when anyone dies we will text each other for example Mystic Meg's dead I'll have her chips then, as happened today. First to text gets the chips. The rules are, no suicides, they will have eaten their chips, no fictional, and no non humans. Apart from that anyone is fair game, though not all are claimed. It was agreed for example that Thatcher could keep her chips. 

This is absolutely fantastic and extra marks for having rules. 

"Death texts" are nearly always funny aren't they? (unless it's someone you know obviously) 

This one from my Dad is my all time favourite. It makes me laugh uncontrollably every time I think about it.

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48 minutes ago, Bellenda Carlisle said:

Then one time years later he invited me out to celebrate his birthday with a group of his friends. I turned up and said happy London bombings anniversary and

I was sure this was going to end with "it turned out one of those mates' relatives died in the bombings."

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10 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

This one from my Dad is my all time favourite. It makes me laugh uncontrollably every time I think about it.

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I only really get two types of texts from my Dad - "am I alright to phone you this Thursday?" or "did you see that so-and-so died?". I never really know what to respond beyond "yeah, I did", but it's obviously always very important to him that he checks in.

Though he can sometimes surprise me. One time I was staying with him and, as I was leaving the house, he had something he really wanted to tell me but couldn't remember what it was. A few hours later, I got a text from him - he'd watched the Download highlights on Sky Arts that morning, and what he'd wanted to tell me was, "Marilyn Manson got big and fat, didn't he?". 

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Ours isn't nearly as creative or funny as the ones in this thread but any time a wrestler dies me and my mate will send "knock knock" to the other. Usually met with a "who's there?" or one of their catchphrase, or if they already know "is that you X?".

The main one for us though was at some New Year's around 10-12 years ago I played Chyna's theme song at midnight and declared it Chynese New Year. Over the years that evolved to us ordering chinese food as well and eventually when she died it further evolved into "The Nth Annual Chynese Memorial New Year" until Covid stopped the event and now we're too old and don't even stay up for it.

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These are all great. And that's me googling now to see how fat Marilyn Manson got...

 

I wonder what my dad would have been like on WhatsApp. It was never about when he was around. I don't think I ever got a text from him. Funny to think that this idea of family WhatsApp groups is really relatively recent, or even the older generation adopting regular communicating by text message in general. But has become really prevalent and totally normalised.

Edited by Chest Rockwell
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