Keith Houchen Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Inspired by this What totally justified shithousery have you done today? My local supermarket is on quite a wide road but not a dual carriageway. When people turn out of the car park, they are met by a traffic lighted crossroads. People turning right tend to treat the road as two lanes and assume a turning position accordingly. I use the less travelled ‘straight on’ option. Some Audibell was moving behind me and was about to overtake the upcoming queue because he wanted to turn right, so I slowed and positioned myself in the middle of the road thus blocking his shortcut. He was none too pleased, beeping and yelling to pick a lane. He didn’t like me pointing out that the left lane is a cycle lane and I’d be blocking it if I went in. He wasn’t too keen on me stalling the engine so he had to wait for the next go around in the lights sequence either. Purely coincidental I’m sure you’ll agree. So in the words of the foghorn from M People, what have you done today to make you feel proud? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 A snotty little kid was screaming at his mother all the way through my shop this afternoon. Luckily, as I left the supermarket, he got stung by a wasp and started screaming. She continued to ignore him and I laughed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingofSports Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Nice one. I'm endlessly amused by shitarse kids getting their comeuppance. To be fair, not seen one in a while. It was a kid on a swing in a pub beergarden. Just an absolute arse. Anyhow, sooner or later he fell off, at the absolute optimum height. Naturally, we laughed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted August 31, 2020 Moderators Share Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) I pissed the sofa at a mates house years ago after a massive piss up following a rugby match and I turned the sofa cushions over, no harm no foul. A few months later I was back there for a party and they turned the cushions over for some reason I don't recall and saw the dried piss. I pointed out it must have been their 5 year old son who did it and turned it over to hide it. He got in shit. It's not so much shithousery as someone in their early 20s dropping a child in it, but still. Edited August 31, 2020 by PowerButchi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted August 31, 2020 Moderators Share Posted August 31, 2020 41 minutes ago, PowerButchi said: I pissed the sofa at a mates house years ago after a massive piss up following a rugby match and I turned the sofa cushions over, That is so vile.. I gagged a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Blog Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 I was walking my dogs around past the field near mine. Another dog was on the other side of the road and started barking, just in excitement mind. My two paid it no heed but I could hear some lads who were hanging about the local shop start to talk about the dog. I was still out of their line of view as the shop is set back somewhat. Anyway one lad started barking at this dog thus winding it up more. I finally came into view and was quite close to them, one lad who was sat on a bike spotted my two. "Here, another two and they are big." The lad then barked at my two whilst his 2 mates laughed, all about 13 or so to my eye. My two never reacted as they are quite relaxed I did however stumble toward him as if they had dragged me and in a panicky voice shouted "The big one bites." Never seen someone try to run away whilst sat on a bike before. His mates rightly pissed themselves as I let out a "just kidding mate." Little twat shouldn't have been barking at the other dog and winding the poor thing up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 The other day a little girl about 7 or 8 hanging around outside the woman’s refuge tried to scam a parcel from me that was for delivery in the next street. She asked what number it was for and I gave her the wrong number, “That’s mine!” she said. She asked what the name was I told her it was for Cornelius, “That’s my mum’s name!” she said. I held the parcel out for her to get then pulled it away at the last second and laughed in her face. It was neither of our finest moments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil is brill Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 I work for Argos. My store has recently re-opened with strict social distancing measures. A woman and her three children came in to browse, and after I'd directed them to one of the browser screens, her kids were going absolutely mental, ignoring the one way system, running around and causing a fair bit of chaos. I kindly asked the mother if she could keep her children nearby as there were other customers inside who were also distancing themselves. She told me to mind my own business and that I don't understand what it's like to have children. (I have a 6 year old and an 8 week old.) Anyway, the kids seemed extra excited to be getting a Nintendo Switch, so before the mother could pay, I went ahead and reserved the last 3 we had left using our back of house computer. They all left disappointed as there were no Switches in any other local stores, and Home Delivery had also run out. Highly petty, but sod 'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted September 1, 2020 Moderators Share Posted September 1, 2020 A+ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyattSheepMask Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 (edited) A few years ago I got onto a pretty full train. After finding the only thing that could’ve been called an empty seat, I asked the person sat at the window if they could move there laptop bag, as he had it on the little tray watching Family Guy. They looked me in the eye then looked away again. I ask again “excuse me, could you please move your bag?”. Again, looks into my eyes and then goes back to watching. So I figure “you’ve had two chances”, so I just sat down on the bag, squashing his massive bag of Doritos in the process. He then stuffs it under his feet and cue 90 minutes of very awkward silence. Properly quite dickish in hindsight, but I’d asked politely twice only to be ignored. Edited September 1, 2020 by WyattSheepMask Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 (edited) Popped to the local shop the other week and there was a group of six 12 year old lads mooching infront of the butchers next door. It's late in the afternoon and the butchers is closing so she's trying to mop up and these twats are throwing rubbish at her and spitting on the windows and stuff. She politely says "Look, can you move out of the way, I've got to empty this bucket of water in a second and you don't want to get wet feet". The gobbiest of them says "Fuck off, I'll get my mum if you wet my feet". I'm in the shop when I see the kids carrying on being twats through the window and giving her more grief, just getting really in her face and mouthing off. I leave the shop and just get to my car as the butcher launches a full bucket of water out of the front of her shop whilst deliberately looking the other way and soaks at least one of the kids who goes mental. She plays it down perfectly "Oh sorry, didn't see you there". It was beautiful. Edited September 1, 2020 by cobra_gordo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Your Fight Site Posted September 1, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted September 1, 2020 Fucking hell. Why are some kids such wankers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members waters44 Posted September 1, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted September 1, 2020 I think all kids have their moments but hopefully grow out of it! My neighbour's six year old however is a little twat which is made much worse by his Mum and Dad bragging about how clever he is all the time. We have been alternating child care over the holidays and he was over for the day on Friday. My four year old was obviously a bit tired and irritable and just kept whinging and crying, which is hard work, and this six year old kept chanting "DRAMA QUEEN" at her non stop even when I asked him not to. I then noticed that he had written "DRAMA QUEEN" all over my daughter's chalkboard and easel in the living room which just pissed me off. So five minutes before he was due to be picked up I meticulously replaced the last A in drama to an ER. His mum walked in to picked him up, this kid immediately starts telling her how my daughter is a drama queen and we all laugh it off. She picks his bag up and clocks the board and takes him home. She didn't say anything but I really hope they spent the evening doing some spelling revision Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 4 hours ago, WyattSheepMask said: Properly quite dickish in hindsight, but I’d asked politely twice only to be ignored. Not in the least. Hopefully he'll think twice in future and you've made life easier for others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted September 1, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted September 1, 2020 A very, rude arrogant chap who I don't like and once claimed that his 'girlfriend hates going out with him because he gets so much attention from women' (He looks like Beaker from the Muppets and whistles all day in the office) left a fresh Granny Smith on his desk and went home for the evening. I brought it to the jacks and rubbed a days worth of arsehole on it. He ate it the next morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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