VHS and Betamax You Have Recently Rented

[Mr_Danger]

Playdate 

Amazon seem to like going back to this particular well and they rarely hit a home run but this one in particular is especially shit. I know he’s not exactly John Candy/John Goodman/John Belushi/Any fat John level of loveable fat guy but at some point Kevin James has to make something half decent. He’s very likeable and can do better. Alan Ritchson as well, very likeable, super physical and should be doing better. 
 

It’s not even a high bar. RIP off the 80’s buddy action movie formula, and make the best shit film you can with your decent budget. If you’re lucky you get a decent 3 star movie but even a likeable 2 star film is enough. 

[Devon Malcolm]

Kevin James starred in Becky a few years ago as the main villain. That was a pretty good film and he was decent enough in it. Otherwise I avoid his films altogether.

[BomberPat]

Frankenstein

Glad I saw it in the cinema, because it's visually stunning. The monster-fucker director made a monster-fucker movie. Del Toro does big gothic melodrama well, and writes women incredibly badly. If you take a drink every time the symbolism is obscenely heavy-handed, you're getting carried out of the cinema before the end.

[Arch Stanton]

45 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

Frankenstein

If you take a drink every time the symbolism is obscenely heavy-handed, you're getting carried out of the cinema before the end.

Always been my favourite drinking game, that one.

[DavidB6937]

Wicked/Wicked For Good

I know. Musicals. My unlimited card makes me do bad things (although we'll see if this or Christmas Karma is the low point of the year) but a double bill seemed a fun (ish) way to spend an evening after a stressful work day.

I saw Wicked maybe once at home after it came out and I didn't hate it but really didn't remember much, so seemed like a good idea to have a refresher.

It's a weird debate as to whether the 'sequel' is better/worse because obviously it's not a sequel, it's just the second part but semantics.

I've never seen the show and I've not really had any plot twists spoiled or anything. It was good to see in a screening where everyone was really into it and I think that added to it, but I couldn't help but feel the songs were a lot weaker in the second part which didn't help. The inevitable tonal shift to a darker, more emotional part of the storyline does make For Good feel like a very different movie and enjoyable in its own way, but it's obviously not going to be the catchy preppy crowd pleaser that the first one was.

Credit where credit is due - I think Jon M. Chu did a wonderful job with the directing and the world he created, and Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande are absolutely phenomenal in the roles across both movies, and definitely carry the power necessary (both acting and vocally) to wrap the story up in the multi-layered emotional way that it needs. Couldn't help but feel like Jeff Goldblum was just being Jeff Goldblum but it works, which is also how I felt about Jonathan Bailey - not necessarily a bad thing, just a bit middling. They were both better than Michelle Yeoh though who I'm usually a big fan of but I'm not sure if it was the role or her singing or what but it just didn't click.

Loved seeing Ethan Slater and Marissa Bode get more to sink their teeth into during For Good, and despite the weaker songs I do think they stuck the landing and plenty of people were crying in the cinema so something worked. Sounds like the movies simply suffered from the same issue as the stage play, top loading the best songs, but viewed as a whole I think they did a great job and you couldn't ask for two better on screen leads. Although I'll be glad their weird ass press tours will be over now.

Anyway I need to go watch a horror or something to balance it all out now.

[Chris B]

Christine (1983) - Cinema

Turns out Vue has been doing a Stephen King season that I hadn't noticed - after spotting Carrie and The Shawshank Redemption, it was only this one that made me look to see if it was a season, because who on earth is begging to bring Christine back to multiplexes? You'd think a John Carpenter film of a Stephen King book would be a bigger deal than it is, but it's one everyone tends to forget exists.

It's a great-looking and fun film, but it's frustrating because it's almost good. I'm really fond of the book, and they get a bunch of it right. But it's not playing to any of Carpenter's strengths at all - the pacing is all over the place, and he's just not good with character-driven stories. He's great with archetypes (the babysitters in Halloween, the guys at the end of the world in The Thing, and even Roddy Piper in They Live), but here, we actually have to care about Arnie, Dennis and Leigh and he's out of his depth with young actors. They're all gamely trying, but it needs just a little more subtlety in places - particularly from Arnie. But instead, everything he does is done like it's an episode of SNL, all too over the top to land with any believability. Some tweaks with the writing and performances, and this could have actually landed the emotional aspect of the story as well.

It is a good time, to be fair. But it's not a good film and that's annoying.

[SaitoRyo]

Running Scared 

80s buddy cop film starring Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines as two of Chicago's finest, who are trying to bring down a drug dealer before heading to Key West, where they plan on retiring and opening a bar. 

It's good and a lot of fun in places. Crystal and Hinest have decent chemistry and there's a nice familiarity about it, but it struggles to find the right tone sometimes. Still, I'm a sucker for an 80s buddy cop film and you could do a lot worse than this one. 

Beverly Hills Cop

Don't think I've ever seen this one all the way through, but I really enjoyed it. 80s Eddie Murphy was quite the charismatic bastard and he was on great form here. I'll probably watch the rest of them now, though I am fully expecting diminishing returns. 

[Devon Malcolm]

Wake Up Dead Man (cinema)

He's done it again. These films are just a lovely time, endlessly entertaining and silly but also thoughtful. I do think this one is slightly the weaker of the three because the cast aren't quite as well used as normal (Cailee Spaeny and Thomas Haden Church are underused especially) but I enjoyed it loads and will rewatch it frequently. I hope he makes more.

Keeper (cinema)

Another fun one from Oz Perkins. Doesn't really nail the ending but it doesn't overdose on jump scares and uses its backgrounds really well. Tatiana Maslany kills it in the lead, too, I hope she gets more roles like this.

28 Years Later

First half shite, second half much better. Once it ditches the lazy Brexit metaphors it actually becomes something entertaining and interesting, and maybe the next one will be better if it's going to focus on Ralph Fiennes. The ending? Well it's something, isn't it.

The Long Walk

Better than I expected. Evolves away from its dystopian concept into being about male friendships and strength in the face of danger. The dialogue is clunky in places and there's not enough context to it all, but it's really not bad. Cooper Hoffman really is his father's son, isn't he.

Urchin 

Harris Dickinson's directorial debut. Suffers from some really confusing characterisation of the lead character, which almost sinks it, but is much stronger on the after-effects of homelessness and addiction. Dickinson might have something.

Gazer

Didn't know a thing about this beforehand - turns it out it's one of the biggest surprises of the year. An ultra low budget neo-noir with a couple of great ideas and some good performances. Really promising from all involved.

Bone Lake

The absolute shits. I should have turned it off when they started talking about cancel culture after 5 minutes. Completely pathetic, I'm angry thinking about it again.

The Last Showgirl

Too under-developed and rushed to be an outright success but a superb showcase for Pamela Anderson and the support cast are excellent. Pretty good.

Islands

Excellent mystery drama about a tennis coach who becomes involved with the case of a missing husband. I think some won't buy the plot twist but I love these languid European noirs, and Sam Riley is really good in the lead.

Beast of War

Another good shark film! I'm pleased we've had some decent ones recently, if only for @Frankie Crisp's sanity. Nice cross between Jaws and Lifeboat, and the performances are quite good, too.

The Parenting

Disappointing horror comedy that has some really good bits but also a really boring romatic centre. Dean Norris and Brian Cox are hilarious and some of the effects are amusingly disgusting but it's just too all over the place to really work.

Ballad of a Small Player (Netflix)

Edward Berger's weakest so far but a bit better than it's been given credit for. Reminded me of Saint Jack (which is a brilliant film) and Colin Farrell is superb in the lead. Not for everyone but I liked it. I'm really going off Tilda Swinton though.

Mother, Couch

Really odd but shit comedy-drama about an old woman who refuses to leave a furniture store. Degenerates into a surreal melodrama after a while and becomes extremely annoying in the process. Taylor Russell though.

Opus

I think I only watched this to the end for Amber Midthunder and John Malkovich being very funny. Otherwise it's really crap and these satirical social horror films need to be stopped now.

The Ritual (2025)

If you seen an exorcism film before, you don't need to watch this. No idea why Dan Stevens took this on but he's excellent as usual. Al Pacino really goes for it. Not terrible but you've seen it before. Loads.

Last Swim

Disappointing British drama about a terminally (?) ill young woman's last day with her school friends before going to university. Ridiculous in places, the usual movie illness clichés, seen it all before.

Eenie Meanie

As reported, Samara Weaving innocent but otherwise dreadful. You could say this about way too many Samara Weaving films.

[Just Some Guy]

The Choral

Ralph Fiennes absolutely fantastic in this World War I set story as a choir master with a past stepping up to help a Yorkshire choral society put on a show after most of the men are drafted.

There's the usual smattering of familiar faces and quality newcomers and if you have

Spoiler

a one armed man getting wanked off on the moors

on your bingo card, you win

[DavidB6937]

Eddington

Finally watched it after missing its incredible short cinema run. Can see why it didn't stick around for long to be honest. It wasn't terrible but still felt very confused tonally. A bit like One Battle After Another in that sense where it was trying to convey some serious message with some random humour that just didnt feel like it hit properly. It was too long as well. Joaquin Phoenix was obviously competent with what he had but Emma and Pedro were definitely underutilised. I just feel like the trailer made me want more. Pretty disappointing really.

[johnnyboy]

1 hour ago, DavidB6937 said:

I just feel like the trailer made me want more.

I would have quite liked to have seen the film that was advertised in the trailer, which turns out to be about 1/3rd of the actual film at best.

I don't have the actual numbers handy, but Eddington felt like it dragged on for about 7 or so hours over the advertised run time.

 

[FLips]

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

Basically a feature length cutscene that takes place 2 years after the end of VII. Worth watching once as a post-credits catch up if you played the game recently as there's a lot of fan service. It is not a good film though. The first 2/3 are explaining what happened in the game for people who don't know, and the final 1/3 is just fight scenes. The CGI is decent for 2006 and the music is really well done, but it's not worth watching more than once.

Robocop 2

Not as good as 1, but still has a lot going for it. It drops the excessive violence just a little but still has some pretty gnarly bits in it, but they're not played for laughs as much as they are in the first one. The script is still really funny in a bleak way though, and it's a great self-commentary on making Robocop child friendly/violence free and why that doesn't work (we'll get to that next). I could have done with a little more about Cain and the gang as there could be a lot more depth there and he doesn't jump off the page as a bastard as immediately as Clarence Boddicker, that being said Cain really isn't the main antagonist here any more than The Old Man, Omnicorp or Dr Faxx are and there's a really fun sleaziness that runs through the whole thing as the bad guys all bicker, fight and betray each other without a thought. The ending where The Old Man and Johnson are plotting how to blame the whole mess on Dr Faxx had us laughing bad just for the sheer audacity of the shithousery.

Robocop 3

Back on the topic of making Robocop child friendly and violence free is this 15-Rated sequel for the kids. It oddly shares a lot with Terminator 3 in the way the cast changes, the tone is completely gone and it's not very good but somehow manages to be hilarious if you watch it with the right attitude. In this one the OCP has succeeded in buying Detroit but they've fucked it up so some army fella and a bunch of ninja cyborgs come in to help clean it up. I think the fact it's not totally violent makes some of it land a lot better than it has a right to. There are two almost back to back suicide bits and both of them had us chuckling, the former one being almost a scene for scene match with the bit where Chris Morris jumps out the window in the IT Crowd. Anne Lewis pulls a "what are you gonna do, shoot me?" and gets shot to death early in the film. Robocop has a jetpack. 

If you go in expecting Robocop 1 and 2 then yeah you're gonna hate it, but if you go in with the knowledge this is a movie made to give Robocop a proper toy line then it exceeds in everything you'd want from that sort of film. Jetpacks, a mad gun arm attachment, still has a good sense of humour, ninja cyborgs and a load of bullshit. We were pleasantly surprised by it. Plus it's a who's who of people showing up in it, which I love. CCH Pounder, Stephen Root, Rip Torn, Daniel Von Bargen. There's fun to be had just spotting actors in it.

Jurassic Park

I wouldn't class it as one of the best films ever like a lot of people do, but it's fine. The animatronics are still world class and there's a lot of decent bits but I just can't seem to get fully into it. Maybe it's because Dr Grant is an arsehole and he's dragging two annoying kids around with him all film. I can't tell if spending the first half of the film telling you everything that will go wrong in the second half is clever or too on the nose. 

It's fine, and it's a damn sight better than the sequels, but it's not up there for me.

[Hannibal Scorch]

@FLips Dunno if I told my Robocop 3 story before but back in late 91/92 a kid in my school was talking about this Robocop 3 film he watched. I called bullshit because there was an Amiga game but no film, he said his uncle worked on it. Anyway I called his bluff, was given a tape which said Robocop 3. Took it home, watched it with my parents and ate humble pie. It was filmed and shelved because the production company went pop (hence the video game releases when there were no trailers/film). We didn’t think it was that good and can’t say I watched it since, even after it finally got released in 1993. Maybe I should.

Ironically even though your thoughts of as toyline probably fed into R3 being a PG-13 instead of an R rating like the first 2, it was mainly because the 2 hadn’t done great and knowing there were kids watching these films anyway, may as well make it more accessible. 
 

There was a toyline but it was from 1988 based on the Robocop Saturday morning cartoon. I had some of the Robocop and the Ultra Police toys and when I said had, really I still do.

[johnnyboy]

Eternity

In the waiting room of the afterlife where will you choose to spend eternity? 

I loved the look of the waiting room.  Tugs the heart strings and the existential dread quietened down for me about halfway in.

Probably not an all-time classic but I enjoyed how it presented the idea.

One complaint.  BBFC card: 15 Strong Sex.  Where?  Don't promise me things like that BBFC.  A 1930s vicar wouldn't have said that there were strong sex scenes in it (unless I'd slept through them).

Edit: looked it up.  This got 4/5 on the sex rating on the BBFC.  The description to get 4/5...

Spoiler

Scenes of sex features clothed couples thrusting and moaning.  There are verbal references to sex, porn, and kinks.

 

Edited December 2, 2025 by johnnyboy

[Lorne Malvo]

I watched Uncharted (2022) last night. I heard a lot of bad things when it first came out, but I thought it was a breezy fun enough time which relies mostly on Tom Hollands innate likability to do a lot of heavy lifting. I like the games but I'm not that beholden to them that the miscasting of the central duo bothered me too much.

The two biggest issues came at the beginning and end of the film;

It has the bogstandard in media res opening and starts with Drake falling out of a plane then does the '15 years earlier' thing. Does every fucking TV show and film need to start like this now? The only thing it was missing was a Ryan Reynolds-esque voiceover going 'that poor sucker falling out of the plane is me, and you might be wondering how I got here...' I know a lot of Netflix made-by-algorithm slop has this opening dictated to them by execs absolutely terrified we might switch over if there's not an explosion every 5 minutes, but this came out in cinemas! At that point, you've got my money so you don't need to do this cheap lazy front-loading shit. The only thing I can assume is that even films that are released in cinemas are being made with an eye on the streaming audience, which is just utterly depressing.

Secondly, there's not one but two sequel-bait scenes right at the end. Did we learn nothing from the hundreds of films released from 2010-2020 that teased a sequel only to bomb? Walk before you can run!

Anyway, it was okay.