VHS and Betamax You Have Recently Rented

[FLips]

Havoc

Maybe because I’ve been watching a lot of films considered classics lately but Tom Hardy doing a brutal American accent and scowling his way through a videogame cutscene just didn’t do it for me.
The nightclub scene and the final shootout are visually impressive but nothing in the film is real. The cars are CGI, the buildings are CGI, I’m not even convinced all the humans were real. When you take out all the blood splatters and unlimited ammo weapons the film has very little to say.

[LaGoosh]

Yeah I hated Havoc. Tom Hardy sleepwalks through this. A generic and ridiculously convoluted and dull script. And the action is dull, unoriginal, repetitive and features so much CG it feels like you're barely watching anything at all.

[Merzbow]

The bad CGI and lackluster action were really surprising, I only recently rewatched his Raid movies and they're still both excellent.

Crimes of The Future.. this was somehow even hornier than I remembered it, David Cronenberg at his peak self indulgence and I'm 100% here for that. I feel it hits even more now I'm a performance artist with an edgelord streak myself.. if only I could grow extra organs. (Oo err, etc).

I can't wait for what either he or his equally great son come up with next.

[FLips]

12 hours ago, LaGoosh said:

features so much CG it feels like you're barely watching anything at all.

12 hours ago, Merzbow said:

The bad CGI and lackluster action were really surprising

I thought the tipping point for me was when I noticed all the cars were CGI even when they were just driving but then they did a shot of the city that looked like the pre-rendered cutscene to gameplay transitions from Abe’s Oddysee and I couldn’t believe how bad it looked.

I’m not entirely anti-CGI, there have been fantastic films that use it to different extents, but when the cast is rubbish and every single thing is CGI you wonder why you’d bother, might as well just play a couple of hours of Xbox.

[Thunderplex]

A Hell of a Summer.  Horror co-directed by Finn Wolfhard of Stranger Things fame.  A perfectly serviceable summer camp style slasher, drags a bit in the middle, but for a first movie by both directors, entertaining enough with a reasonable twist.  Looking forward to what they do in the future.

[BomberPat]

Sinners

Absolutely loved it, though The Onion was spot-on in describing it as a movie about how Americans can't talk about historical racism without being weird about the Irish.

I didn't even mind it being more than two hours long, which is normally a major turn-off for me movie-wise, because very little felt like it didn't need to be there. Fantastic performances all-round - Delroy Lindo is always a good time - and visually fantastic. I wish I could have gone in a little more blind, and not known anything about where the plot was going, because it would have absolutely blindsided me and I would have loved it. 

My only real criticisms are some sex scenes that seem to be there for no reason other than to have some sex scenes, though that's more about my tastes than anything else, and some (very short, so forgivable) flashback bits that felt extremely focus-grouped, as if audiences complained that they didn't understand very clear and obvious dialogue without a visual reminder of what they were talking about.

Mostly, though, fantastic film, glad I made a point of going to the cinema for it, which I rarely bother with for new films any more.

 

G20

Absolute dogshit. I hoped it would at least be a daft Beekeeper-esque romp, but it was heavy-handed rah rah America bollocks.

[Merzbow]

Warfare.. it's hard to give this a genuine review unlike Civil War which had it's political "impartiality" help it become a better film (if we ignore the cringe ending). This just feels like a very well made fluff piece for US imperialism, the excellent filmmaking from Alex Garland could never cover that up and I just felt sick watching it and not for the reasons it wants.

[air_raid]

Had a big “sequels” weekend. Finally watched Bridget Jones 4 (MCU count : 1) because Mrs raid has seen them all. It wasn’t quite the “this is unbelievable twaddle” of the second but it wasn’t as funny as the third… eh. Then we watched Another Simple Favor (MCU count : 1) because the first was excellent… sadly Paul Feig seemed to forget to do a sequel to the first, instead of a simmering suspenseful mystery thriller he instead crafted an over the top Knives Out style constant-misdirection bloodbath more in common tonally with Bridesmaids or Ghostbusters than his finest, and stuffed with awful “comedy” - overused dementia humour, a frankly impossibly-inept FBI agent, and my least favourite trope, the BIG LOUD SIDEKICK who added nothing to the story. Bitterly disappointing and a waste of some good actors. Finally Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (MCU count : 3 if we count Jenna Ortega) which was actually superior to the first, which hasn’t aged well, largely because more screen time dedicated to the underworld and to Betelgeuse himself.

What has aged well is Monica Belluci.

[Devon Malcolm]

59 minutes ago, air_raid said:

Finally Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (MCU count : 3 if we count Jenna Ortega) which was actually superior to the first

[cobra_gordo]

Final Destination: Bloodlines. I unashamedly love this series and this latest installment is up there with the best of them, genuinely. Punched the air at one death, nearly stood up and clapped at another. Loads of gore and convoluted setups. Belly laughed as much as I squirmed in my seat, there's a touching cameo and plenty of nods to the previous films. Six stars, film of the year.

Edited May 16, 2025 by cobra_gordo

[JLM]

Ah man I’m seeing that on Sunday and I am so pumped. Multiple cinema trips I’ve had to look away from the screen when the trailer has come on. I know trailers are hellbent on ruining all movies these days, but seriously, don’t show me anything about the kills in a bloody Final Destination movie before I’ve seen it you bastards! 
 

I also have a big soft spot for the series. Also in a fairly rare happening for a sequelled-to-death horror franchise, I thought 5 was better than 3 and 4. Not difficult to be better than 4, but still, the fifth one being a bit of a return to form was unexpected. This may not be a spoiler as, again, I have actively avoided the trailers and it’s a casting/actor thing rather than a plot spoiler but 

Spoiler

I’m was very glad to read it has the late great Tony Todd in it. A true horror icon and the genre (and certainly this franchise!) won’t be the same without him. 

 

Edited May 17, 2025 by JLM

[Devon Malcolm]

The Surfer (cinema)

The first thing I wonder when I see a new Nicolas Cage film is if you've seen it, @Bellenda Carlisle! This one was....odd. Cage is excellent in it but the film itself is, I think, trying to be a sort of Wake in Fright update and it never really worked for me. It will be divisive.

Hallow Road (cinema)

Tremendous little thriller about a couple whose daughter is involved in a hit-and-run. Told in real time and mostly from within a car, I wasn't sure about the last 10 minutes but this was one long anxiety attack. Rosamund Pike excellent as usual.

Freaky Tales

An anthology where none of the parts really work but also none of them are too bad. I'm not sure what this was going for, really, and it's just not very freaky. Cast is excellent with Pedro Pascal the standout.

A Private Function (Talking Pictures TV)

Really daft but very funny British comedy after post-war rationing and pig hunting. One of the best British casts ever assembled, maybe.

Ash (Prime)

New sci-fi horror that doesn't even try and hide how much it's stealing from Alien and Event Horizon. Some really nice visuals and a committed Eiza Gonzalez performance but some of the CGI is terrible and it becomes quite repetitive.

Locked

Bill Skarsgard gets locked in Anthony Hopkins' car when he tries to steal it and gets tortured for 90 minutes. One of those premises you can't resist but rarely deliver. A couple of good bits and Tony seems to be having a great time but pretty stupid overall.

Another Simple Favour

They needed to strike while the iron was hot with this one. Too much time has passed since the (excellent) original. It's enjoyable enough for the cast but it's a knock-off Knives Out that forgets how sharp the oiriginal was. I'd watch another one, though.

Seeds

Enjoyable black comedy horror about an indigenous influencer who runs into trouble back in her home town. Struggles a bit with its pacing but there are some good ideas here and the ending is excellent.

Iron Eagle

I couldn't even be arsed watching this as a kid, and with justification. Far too long, not nearly enough action and the lead kid's a right dickhead and I was hoping he'd die. Won't bother with the sequels.

I also rewatched the first two Lost Bullet films (very good and excellent) ahead of Last Bullet, an excellent end to Netflix's only successful franchise to date. They get better as the go on and the maturity shown with the story in the last one connects to the really good action and choreography. Can't beat these.

[Chest Rockwell]

12 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Iron Eagle

I couldn't even be arsed watching this as a kid, and with justification. Far too long, not nearly enough action and the lead kid's a right dickhead and I was hoping he'd die. Won't bother with the sequels.

Chappieeeeeeee!

[gmoney]

I can't mount any sort of defence for iron Eagle, but I will say I love Lou Gossett Jr and I will watch him in anything. 

[Thunderplex]

Iron Eagle was great in ‘86, but as with many of those films, it was a film of its time.