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VHS and Betamax You Have Recently Rented


Frankie Crisp

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3 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

It doesn't help that the only characters to get a full trilogy were the ones introduced in World, who are all shit and unlikeable. 

Daniella Pineda is in one of them, so that's a positive. 

She might even be in all 3, but that goes to show how unmemorable they are that I think I've seen all 3 but couldn't tell you a single thing about any of them.

Oh actually I can. Chris Pratt is shit.

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1 minute ago, SuperBacon said:

Oh actually I can. Chris Pratt is shit.

Some #FilmTwitter knob (not me, for a change) claimed that Chris Pratt has or will take over from Tom Cruise as being the only bankable movie star name around. Who the fuck's sitting around and saying, "Let's see the new Chris Pratt film!"? Absolutely nobody, that's who.

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25 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Some #FilmTwitter knob (not me, for a change) claimed that Chris Pratt has or will take over from Tom Cruise as being the only bankable movie star name around. Who the fuck's sitting around and saying, "Let's see the new Chris Pratt film!"? Absolutely nobody, that's who.

As a massive It's Always Sunny fan, I'd rather not have read that Glenn Howerton was very nearly Peter Starlord in the GOTG films (yes I know you have no time for them 😂)

What could've been.

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14 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

As a massive It's Always Sunny fan, I'd rather not have read that Glenn Howerton was very nearly Peter Starlord in the GOTG films (yes I know you have no time for them 😂)

What could've been.

The thing is Chris Pratt is PERFECT as Star Lord, especially in the first and last one and I couldn't see him in anything else. The problem is Chris Pratt is the same in every film role now even Owen in the JW series is Grumpier Star Lord. And now every cartoon has him in as I just saw he is going to voice Garfield in the animated film coming out next year.

Also while we are slagging off actors from JW, Justice Smith is awful, although was bareable in Dungeons and Dragons a film that should have done Jurassic World box office numbers but didn't.  

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5 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Also while we are slagging off actors from JW, Justice Smith is awful, although was bareable in Dungeons and Dragons a film that should have done Jurassic World box office numbers but didn't.  

He's an actor with no charisma or presence at all, no idea how he's become so sought after. It's a sign of how good D&D was that he came across quite well.

He was also perfect for The Voyeurs as a downtrodden, boring husband who was married to Sydney Sweeney, clearly miles out of his (and everyone's) league.

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4 hours ago, BomberPat said:

But mostly, it's dire. It's incredibly mean-spirited, the character archetypes (and particularly the gender politics of it all) are lazier and more dated than the characters in the first film

The most amazing thing about the series, and Jurassic World in particlar is that the most over the top incredible kill in the series goes to... Some random girl who the main girl for the series dumps her nephews with. Now granted, I watched Merlin and know she turns a bit evil so it's for the best but throughout the series and all the characters she is the one they went overboard with for the massive death routine for?

I did have to laugh about them bringing Dodgson of all people back to be the big villain in Dominion, after all those years of memes about "see, nobody cares" they bring him back and quite rightly, nobody cared. While I understand not following the book to the letter when Lost World was made, I've never been entirely sure why that subplot was so forgotten about - two things caused the failure of the park, Hammond being painfully cheap and the industrial sabotage by a rival company made possible due to the cost cutting - yet they waited nearly 30 years to actually do anything with it. I'm not saying any of the follow ups would have actually been great films but the shitty genetic engineered super dinos were so shite it made the first two Worlds even more of a slog to get through.

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1 hour ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

The problem is Chris Pratt is the same in every film role now even Owen in the JW series is Grumpier Star Lord

My lasting memory of Pratt in the JW series, other than the memeworthy "riding a motorbike with raptors" stuff, is that they somehow manage to get the same character doing the "I'm just living in a trailer and chopping logs, I'm not about that life any more" scene in two consecutive movies, with the same person being the one to lure him into the plot. 

13 minutes ago, lanky316 said:

The most amazing thing about the series, and Jurassic World in particlar is that the most over the top incredible kill in the series goes to... Some random girl who the main girl for the series dumps her nephews with.

That's exactly what I had in mind when I said it was mean-spirited! It's the sort of death that should carry some real narrative weight, that only a real bastard should be subjected to, but instead it's "mildly annoying career woman" that gets it. 

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I went to a preview of Hypnotic that Ben Affleck "inception type" thriller.

Not my fave genre but this was enjoyable enough nonsense, felt a bit dated though. Less than 90 mins long too which was refreshing, they should use that as a selling point in the marketing. Could see it was Robert Rodriguez if you knew but he was fairly restrained.

William Fichtner is always the same, nothing against him but he's not the most thrilling bad guy. Looking forward to seeing Jason Momoa as an outrageous heel in the new fast and furious.

Big George Foreman I'd never heard of this and was was surprised to see it showing at the cinema and surprised I bothered to see it. 

It was like a tv quality by the numbers sports biography but it was completely fine, informative enough and not boring. I suspected halfway through it might be one of those inspiring Christian type films cos it gets very Jesusy. 

I really liked the casting of Muhammad Ali, he was this dude Sullivan Jones 

SullivanJones-2021_r.jpg

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Not going to lie I think The Lost World is pretty fun. It's definitely awful, yes, but it has a couple of thrilling sequences in it and a great cast. The raptors in the long grass scene is AWESOME.

As for Jurassic World well I'm not exaggerating that when I saw it I genuinely felt like I was watching cinema die in front of my very eyes. Just the ugliest, most cynical, mean spirited, absolutely dreadfully made piece of fucking shit I have ever seen. If you have to encapsulate everything wrong with modern mainstream blockbuster film making it would be this film. When people talk about in the future AI's writing films and television well Jurassic World is exactly the type of film an AI would make. I haven't seen the sequels and never will. I hate this movie.

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the other thing with Jurassic World is the camerawork. Something Spielberg always does, sometimes to the point of self-parody, is prolonged shots of people looking up in amazement at something; then, when you get to see the thing (i.e., the Brontosauruses appearing for the first time), the camera is always at a character's eyeline. Pretty much everything in his films is shot so that you are seeing what the characters would see.

The climatic fight in World, between the T-Rex and the made-up dinosaur, is a CGI mess that's shot from every conceivable angle, flying around all over the place. There's no sense of scale or space, because you have no viewpoint that's logically placing you as part of the action. It's the same reason why WWE's million camera cuts or a Michael Bay fight scene is incomprehensible, and the same reason I find most Marvel movies' third act devolving into a big CGI laser fight to be incredibly dull, because there's no sense that the audience is sharing in anything with the characters. It's just watching a kid play with their toy dinosaurs.

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47 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

The climatic fight in World, between the T-Rex and the made-up dinosaur, is a CGI mess that's shot from every conceivable angle, flying around all over the place. There's no sense of scale or space, because you have no viewpoint that's logically placing you as part of the action. It's the same reason why WWE's million camera cuts or a Michael Bay fight scene is incomprehensible, and the same reason I find most Marvel movies' third act devolving into a big CGI laser fight to be incredibly dull, because there's no sense that the audience is sharing in anything with the characters. It's just watching a kid play with their toy dinosaurs.

This is pretty much the standard for almost every non-Tom Cruise action scene of the past 10 years. Grey/brown sludge with no scale, pacing, logical coordination or gravity to anything and just endless shit flying all over the place. People can rightly shit on the Avatar films but watching The Way of Water and seeing actions sequences put together by a director who knows how to perfectly convey location, weight, accurate physics and then shoot, edit and pace so you not only know what's happening but know what the physical stakes are was an unbelievable breath of fresh air.

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