Steve Justice Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 So how does everyone piss? This is the norm, right? https://pasteboard.co/J0f1p9BK.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 I used to laugh at people who pissed like that, but then I tried it and now I take it all back. I'm a changed man, and no longer get my palms wet if someone's pissed on the floor beforehand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 I exclusively piss in the wild. There's nothing more liberating than pulling your pants down to your ankles (after taking your shoes and socks off obv) and letting rip in to a pile of nettles or up the side of a persons house and then no handed helicoptering yourself dry. Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPumaPants Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 Â 17 hours ago, SuperBacon said: Whatever shitty bollox That got a hearty laugh. Thanks for that. Â 16 hours ago, Sphinx said: The anus has a lip at the front (dunno what the technical term is). If you wipe back to front, you can basically scoop up to it as you wipe. This is definitely a thing. I tend to scoop, maybe even pinch a little. I can't fathom the idea of just wiping, flat against your skin. That, more so than how I wipe, is how you get shit where it shouldn't be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Frankie Crisp Posted March 22, 2020 Awards Moderator Share Posted March 22, 2020 (edited) A THIRD. Â Edited March 22, 2020 by Frankie Crisp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 Forget Brexit, this schism will tear the UKFF apart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Onyx2 Posted March 22, 2020 Awards Moderator Share Posted March 22, 2020 So which one of you posted this on Reddit?   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 I might just start using a speculum and have done with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 So after extensive testing, I can confirm that sitting has no bearing on the amount of wipes required. I varied my diet in order to try a range of substances. As well as standard toilet roll, I tried quilted, scented, wet wipes, triple ply, a hot flannel and three seashells. The results were negligible. In conclusion, do whatever feels right. I will be going back to standing full time. Apart from the pooing bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 In other news, the mystery of national toilet roll shortages has been solved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted March 28, 2020 Moderators Share Posted March 28, 2020 1 hour ago, Steve Justice said: So after extensive testing, I can confirm that sitting has no bearing on the amount of wipes required. I varied my diet in order to try a range of substances. As well as standard toilet roll, I tried quilted, scented, wet wipes, triple ply, a hot flannel and three seashells. The results were negligible. In conclusion, do whatever feels right. I will be going back to standing full time. Apart from the pooing bit. Standing outside at 8pm to clap for Steve Justice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 28 minutes ago, Astro Hollywood said: Standing outside at 8pm to clap for Steve Justice. Facing your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted March 28, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2020 On 3/22/2020 at 8:34 AM, Mr_Danger said: There's nothing more liberating than pulling your pants down to your ankles A friend once told me of a game that got played when the group were a few drinks in where someone would declare "school boy piss". Whoever lost (I forget the competitive element) would have to drop trousers and pants the their ankles to take a piss, looking a bit like butters in southpark I assume. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Blog Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 5 hours ago, SuperBacon said: Facing your house. Tremendous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted March 30, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted March 30, 2020 Today: My 3 year old on toilet shouts: “DAAAAAD” Me downstairs: “YEAHHHH?” Her: “I LOVE YOU, YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND” Me: “AWWW THANKS MATE” Her: “CAN YOU WIPE MY BUUUM? I WANT SOME CRISPS” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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