Paid Members gmoney Posted May 29, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted May 29, 2020 There's nothing quite like efficiently emptying the contents of your bowel through your bumhole. *chefs kiss* In a healthy way though, not like an attack of the quickly shits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 It's a special occasion when it feels like you've already had a satisfying poo, only for your body to switch up a gear and empty out another batch you didn't even know you were carrying. I can count on one hand the number of times it has happened but you feel at least a stone lighter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted May 29, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted May 29, 2020 If it's a really good poo, I might take my trousers off. It just feels right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 I understand exactly where you're coming from but I'd describe that more as blessed relief than soul-cleansing. I didn't suffer a jot on the throne. It was grade A from start to finish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 22 hours ago, scratchdj said: I got really ill at Universal last year. So much so, I had to leave my wife in the queue for the Hagrid ride and sprint at world record-pace to the loos. If I’d have been timed, you’d have needed to deploy Tipex on your history books. The second I became seated, it sounded like a fisherman pouring the trawler’s unwanted sprats back into the sea, but I immediately felt wonderful and was able to rejoin the queue feeling more magical than the beloved half-giant could ever have made me. Absolutely crying with laughter over this wording Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord-Mountevans Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, simonworden said: Absolutely crying with laughter over this wording I must admit that wording did catch my eye too 🤣🤣🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Blog Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 I had a strange/wonderful/divine/frightening experience yesterday whilst sitting upon my throne. It was my third trip of the day, the first two having been failures (which is very unlike me, I am usually as accurate as a Swiss watch when it comes to my toilet visits.) Anyway as I sat I had the strangest feeling in my stomach, it felt like two stones had dropped from my stomach itself straight down into my bowels. I can only liken it to when your stomach leaps on a rollercoaster. Within seconds a monstrous turd fell, and I do mean fell no pushing needed out of my arse followed by another equally large monster. The sound of them hitting the water was ridiculous. If I had to describe the sound I would have to go with "Slaaaaaapppppooooooooommmmm" I have felt fantastic since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lenin Posted May 30, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted May 30, 2020 On 5/29/2020 at 10:50 AM, King Coconut said: I've just had one of those soul-cleansing poos that leaves you feeling like you can tackle anything. I won't go into the specifics of the loggage, but does everyone have them now and again? It's a genuine gift of evolution. Yup. As I mentioned in my post last week, it was such an (unexpected) event I had to have a wee lie down. 20 mins and I was ready for anything. Awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey_Piste Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 On 5/29/2020 at 10:50 AM, King Coconut said: I've just had one of those soul-cleansing poos that leaves you feeling like you can tackle anything. I won't go into the specifics of the loggage, but does everyone have them now and again? It's a genuine gift of evolution. I had the complete opposite of one of those this morning. It involved 45 minutes of shaking, sweating and straining for a minimal result. Only for a second, slightly less distressing round half an hour later. It was one of those experience where you need to have a lay down afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted August 7, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 7, 2020 People talk about “regularity “ as a good thing but I actually find having to go for a poo at the same times of day like clockwork compared to just “whenever I need to” a few years ago to be a disconcerting reminder of the aging process/the inexorable march towards death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 Since I quit smoking it's the only thing in life I truly look forward to. I couldn't bear not knowing when the next one will come along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divorced Dad Posted August 7, 2020 Author Share Posted August 7, 2020 Anyone else need one as soon as they wake up in the morning? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Bus Surfer Posted August 7, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 7, 2020 One when I get up. Then another after a sip of coffee touches my lips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted August 7, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted August 7, 2020 2 hours ago, Divorced Dad said: Anyone else need one as soon as they wake up in the morning? 2 hours ago, Silky Kisser said: One when I get up. Then another after a sip of coffee touches my lips. Basically what I was alluding to. Regardless of whether I went the night before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Frankie Crisp Posted August 8, 2020 Awards Moderator Share Posted August 8, 2020 (edited) Yeah, coffee is dangerous. Good coffee is lethal. We’ve moved offices and my mate’s started to bring in a Costa every day as it’s on her way in. It’s nice, but I’m getting bored of making excuses to go for a shite. Luckily, we’re in a phone black hole and have to move about for a signal; 'I’m just going outside to make a call’ means I’m going to Lebanon the hell out of the toilet. Edited August 8, 2020 by Frankie Crisp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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