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Things that you know will be shit


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You're just trying to change the subject because people are saying your Wild Bill show looks crap 

I am honestly fucking dreading Christmas night, Flash. Really am. Every Christmas I get asked - by her whole fucking family - "How can you not like Mrs Brown's Boys (x4)? It's brilliant! He's hilar

Other people's young children.

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Reduced price sandwiches are a great shout. I have absolutely no interest in a Tesco sausage and egg sandich normally but by God, if it's reduced to 50p I'm going to purchase it and be deservedly disappointed.

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Fucking hell Steve, did you eat all of them?

The Boots near me at work is great on a Friday, around 1:30pm. Because the city pretty much shuts down over the weekend, they slash all of the sandwiches, sushi and other chilled snacks to 50p (yes @tiger_rick, 50p in London!) after the lunchtime rush has subsided because they'll expire come Monday.

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18 minutes ago, PunkStep said:

Fucking hell Steve, did you eat all of them?

The Boots near me at work is great on a Friday, around 1:30pm. Because the city pretty much shuts down over the weekend, they slash all of the sandwiches, sushi and other chilled snacks to 50p (yes @tiger_rick, 50p in London!) after the lunchtime rush has subsided because they'll expire come Monday.

Boots run a food bank? Learn something new every day. 

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3 hours ago, The British Bushwacker said:

A Christening.

my other half uttered the words of dread last weekend "we've got a christening to go to sunday morning" , what a waste of a nice morning that was

 

Even worse than a christening, a wedding. Fuck them.

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1 minute ago, lars85 said:

Even worse than a christening, a wedding. Fuck them.

you on crack? A least weddings lead to a sit down meal, speeches, a buffet and a shit DJ. Oh and loads of booze. Most christenings I have had to endure have had a buffet but not often a bar. But then you do have the time factor.... Christenings though, much more boring

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2 minutes ago, lars85 said:

To be fair, I've never been to christening. You're right though, with weddings it's the time factor. It's a whole day and night ruined.

Ruined by booze, free food, dancing and the opportunity to wear your best clobber? I'm struggling to see the issue, personally.

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School concerts, harvest festivals and Christmas plays. I get a shiver every time one of the kids bring a letter inviting us to a school show they are putting on. It's usually 2 minutes of pleasure(well, pride might be the better word) while your kids are doing their bit, then an hour and a half of random kids you don't know doing shit singing and dancing. 

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Just now, Cod Eye said:

School concerts, harvest festivals and Christmas plays. I get a shiver every time one of the kids bring a letter inviting us to a school show they are putting on. It's usually 2 minutes of pleasure(well, pride might be the better word) while your kids are doing their bit, then an hour and a half of random kids you don't know doing shit singing and dancing. 

My youngest cried during her line last year, then sat with her teacher for the remainder of the show which whilst being heartbreaking, meant that I really was just watching random kids for half an hour, with not even mine to focus on.

I’m adding the Royal Variety Performance. Dogshit every year.

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1 hour ago, Accident Prone said:

Ruined by booze, free food, dancing and the opportunity to wear your best clobber? I'm struggling to see the issue, personally.

It's probably because the rise in weddings I've had to go to has coincided with me having to stop drinking. Plus the number of dicks in my family that nobody would want to spend more than a few minutes with. And I'm always a sharp dressed motherfucker, wedding or not.

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