Cod Eye

No need to apologise, its a valid question! Yes, we have spoken. The trouble is, as he's got older, he's kinda withdrawn from talking to her a bit as he's wanted to be more independent, so she's been a bit worried too. He really opened up to me at the weekend though, and wants to do things just the two of us(and that's what's worrying me most). She's told me to not play any music with heavy bass in the car, as he finds that hard to process. To not try to make eye contact, and try to walk with enough distance between us so I don't bump into him and things. Im trying to learn and recognise his triggers for when he gets overwhelmed at the minute, as Id hate to take him somewhere and it overwhelm him. Another issue, is the fact he's trying to be more independent/grown up, as he seems to be trying to hide it when he's triggered and also the things that help him. For example, his mum found out recently he's been going to his dads and smoking weed when he was anxious and has been for a while. Edit: That's another question. Would weed genuinely help him, or would it be an excuse to get stoned? Would weed effect someone Autistic different to someone who Isn't? Again, I hope that is not a stupid or ignorant question. Im just a total newbie to all this and feeling lost and a bit overwhelmed myself to be honest!

Need some general advice please? So my new partner's 21 year old son is very high functioning autistic. The lads a total genius! If she hadn't told me he was autistic, I wouldn't have known, and just assumed he was a bit "geeky" in his interests and had an addictive personality(I say geeky, as he's hooked on things like Warhammer, and it has become the cornerstone of his personality. Im sorry if thats not the right term, but its not used as a negative in this context). Now, I have absolutely ZERO experience with Autistic people. I'm sure I've worked with Autistic people at some point, but if I did, I didn't know. I get every single autistic person is completely different, but are there any general tips you could give me to help make his life better/easier when were together? I know he doesn't like making eye contact, he's not touchy/feely and he struggles to work out peoples emotions, often asking if his mum and I are mad at him(when many a time we are only joking about something which is something I'm trying to stop doing for him). So, I am learning slowly! Also, he confided in me the other night he's lonely and wants a girlfriend. He wants her to be also Autistic, and also like Warhammer. I can imagine finding the first would be much easier than finding an Autistic woman who also loves Warhammer! But I suppose what I'm asking is how do you/your loved ones go about dating while living with Autism? I'd love to help him find someone, but no idea where to start. ANY advice would be appreciated(even if its sent in a DM). Cheers!