The Smackers Thread

[Chico Torres]

3 hours ago, tiger_rick said:

Not wishing to sound like one of those bitter fucks on an RF Video shoot interview but I'm going to anyway. Surely if we're at the point were rehearsing matches is the solution, the business is fucked. The beauty of pro-wrestling is that it's live, it's spontaneous and it's still all a show. I don't need to lecture anyone on here on how it works because we all know. The people at the top of the game have spent years building up the skills to cope with the environment. They've worked hundreds of shows in front of 12 people, worked in different countries and with wrestlers of different styles, got their reps in night after night on spot shows in front people who love to see them. The erosion of that in the last decade alone in favour of training in a big warehouse and rehearsing the same spots over and over is dreadful. It's why when things fall apart, which they always will, there's no skill in the cover-up or ability to take a different path. 

Whatever you think of wrestling, and more and more, I think it's a fucking dreadful industry, what you could never disrespect is the craft. This conversation absolutely harms my soul. Where is the fucking craft? 

Got any good Von Erich stories?

But that aside, I totally agree sir, here’s hoping to a world free from entrance poses timed to the second, overly rehearsed sequences, overly contrived shite, dramatic near falls and shocked faces.

[HarmonicGenerator]

2 hours ago, LaGoosh said:

Xander Clax vs Harlem Bishop

I love that whenever people bring up NXT as an example of something, I've got no idea whether the silly wrestler names are made up for the post or actual name's they've given people working there.

[tiger_rick]

25 minutes ago, HarmonicGenerator said:

I love that whenever people bring up NXT as an example of something, I've got no idea whether the silly wrestler names are made up for the post or actual name's they've given people working there.

Harlem Bishop's got a great look. Was a great college basketball player and really leans into it. Like a Dennis Rodman who can actually work.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

31 minutes ago, tiger_rick said:

Harlem Bishop's got a great look. Was a great college basketball player and really leans into it. Like a Dennis Rodman who can actually work.

I can't believe you've snubbed Xander Clax like that. A great physique from playing tight end at the University of Central Tennessee and has really shown some real fire in his promos. 

[LaGoosh]

1 hour ago, HarmonicGenerator said:

I love that whenever people bring up NXT as an example of something, I've got no idea whether the silly wrestler names are made up for the post or actual name's they've given people working there.

They are both real. Xander Clax is a cool white guy who wears a black t-shirt, he's jacked and does a Cutter as a finisher. Harlem Bishop is a cool black guy with a "street" gimmick who wears sunglasses and a gold chain and does a great dive out the ring - everyone is certain he'll be headlining Wrestlemania one day. They've both been in NXT for 15 years now.

Edited July 14 by LaGoosh

[HarmonicGenerator]

1 hour ago, LaGoosh said:

They are both real. Xander Clax is a cool white guy who wears a black t-shirt, he's jacked and does a Cutter as a finisher. Harlem Bishop is a cool black guy with a "street" gimmick who wears sunglasses and a gold chain and does a great dive out the ring - everyone is certain he'll be headlining Wrestlemania one day. They've both been in NXT for 15 years now.

I'm being worked aren't I.

[DavidB6937]

Harlem Bishop is actually an Australian guy they hired off the back of Rhea Rhipley's recommendation and he's the son of Harold Bishop from Neighbours.

Hopefully they'll do an Aussie version of Birthright with the kids of Lou Carpenter, Paul Robinson and Charlene/Scott.

[RedTwoster]

3 hours ago, LaGoosh said:

They are both real. Xander Clax is a cool white guy who wears a black t-shirt, he's jacked and does a Cutter as a finisher. Harlem Bishop is a cool black guy with a "street" gimmick who wears sunglasses and a gold chain and does a great dive out the ring - everyone is certain he'll be headlining Wrestlemania one day. They've both been in NXT for 15 years now.

I’m sorry, but Xander Clax is a genuinely tremendous name. If there are any aspiring wrestlers out there, please steal this.

[d-d-d-dAz]

If you want to see the best ever example of a wrestler doing the absolute best with what they've got; Cody's promo on Punk. An absolute triumph of delivery over substance.

He had nothing to say, it was all over the place. That's not his fault, it's a function of WWE no longer telling stories and just rushing to the big moments... but christ, give these people some genuine motivation

I love you. I don't like you. I respect you. I did everything you did. The fans like you more. I don't care. But, it does annoy me. I need to beat you. Of course i'll beat you. You're the best. I'm a bigger star. I have a chip on my shoulder about how good you are. But, I am going to whip your arse.

Madness. Like a man a fishing for purpose. Punk's was a bit better, as he had fragments of things to respond to but for goodness sake, please start telling longer stories.

Edited July 25 by d-d-d-dAz

[Statto]

Going to have to go watch that now cos it sounds very similar to what turned out to be his final (I think?) promo in AEW.

I can't give credit to whoever it was on here who summarised it as I'm about to replicate below, but I found it so amusing (and accurate) I have the text saved in the notes on my phone:

I wont ever turn heel because you guys cheered me when I needed it, CM Punks pipe bomb was brilliant wasnt it, see how I said it was brilliant well actually it was shit because he didnt do anything he said but I was in NJPW and ROH, me and Ricky Starks are really good mates in real life, Brody King is good aint he but its shite to come into a company where someone else had the name Brodie and he died thats not on really, at the same time though we didnt change his name because WWE does that and they're shit arent they, titles that dont say World in them are secondary...but not this one...but this one is secondary because there's two of them, Sammy lets have a ladder match.

[Supremo]

Biggest match they’ve got. Two of their biggest stars. Two genuine top talents squeezing all the they can out of ropey, confusing material. Against all the odds, they miraculously manage to finally make the match feel huge and even reference their AEW past without stumbling into wanky worked shoot territory!

“We need a killer closing line to land the plane. Something new, exciting and original.”

“Maybe something about Dusty being Cody’s Dad? We never mention that.”

“I’ve got it. Hear me out…how about Punk calls him…Dusty’s kid?”

“Another home run. It’s what we do.”

[mim731]

1 hour ago, Supremo said:

“I’ve got it. Hear me out…how about Punk calls him…Dusty’s kid?”

You're not wrong, and I don't know if this makes ot better or worse, but I think it was an attempted call back to Punk shouting about "not losing to Dusty's kid" at the 2024 Rumble before his tricep exploded. Not that it makes a lot more sense, mind. 

[RedTwoster]

I watched Smackdown for the first time in a long time, a decent enough episode, but what the heck was going on with Cody’s face? He looked like he’d dyed his face by mistake rather than his hair. A really bizarre look, it must be strange to see him in the real world. 

I’m surprised they’re doing the Interim champion thing. It was rubbish when AEW did it, and it’s rubbish here. I hope they don’t have Chelsea win an Interim World title as her first World title. Charlotte Flair qualifying for the match by DQ is really dumb. If Nia gets a third opportunity to qualify, she should ask someone to come in and attack her as a favour, so that she can qualify. Anyone and everyone should do it in that situation, guarantee your spot.

It’s a shame that Nick Aldis returning to the ring seems to be a temporary thing. He’d be a good addition to their roster as a full time performer. 

All in all, it didn’t make me want to watch Summerslam, but it was an entertaining enough watch. 

[DavidB6937]

Cody was looking very yellow. Almost sick. Obviously it's just shit tan and lighting but still.

I was actually expecting Jade and her mates to attack Nia to cost Charlotte the match, but I guess that would've been too sensible.

[d-d-d-dAz]

3 hours ago, RedTwoster said:

It’s a shame that Nick Aldis returning to the ring seems to be a temporary thing. He’d be a good addition to their roster as a full time performer. 

Agree with this, but i'm not ruling out them changing their mind.

If he's not carrying significant injuries then surely they can't turn their nose up at someone who looks as good as he does, and who - by their standards - is quite young still.

He has a main event look, and looks like a physical equal of their other main eventers. I know he had a reputation for being a bit boring in the ring, but without being too glib about WWE - that hasn't been an issue for others.