The Smackers Thread

[Slapnut]

6 hours ago, LaGoosh said:

Is there lots of contentious history?!

Apart from Punk yelling at him in a ROH lockerroom 20 years ago and Punk throwing a wobbly that him and Sami Zayn had pizza with Colt Cabana once what history between them is there?

Probably in the same way Punk and Cody was years in the making even though they have barely any history together other than both being in AEW together for a few months where they didn't interact on TV once. 

[d-d-d-dAz]

6 hours ago, LaGoosh said:

Is there lots of contentious history?!

Apart from Punk yelling at him in a ROH lockerroom 20 years ago and Punk throwing a wobbly that him and Sami Zayn had pizza with Colt Cabana once what history between them is there?

I don't really know. Which, I think, is the sweet spot as it probably means they didn't drown the promo in obscure history and snide references.

Let the people who care about that talk about it on Reddit.

I mean, i'm sure this discipline won't last into next week but i'll enjoy it for now. It's a bit annoying they've booked the match for August 21, as suggests they'll have Sami interfere and kick-off a new KO/SZ feud. I was hoping (against hope) they'd take their time and build a story properly.

Edited August 8 by d-d-d-dAz

[NeverYield]

I was pleased to see KO back but Punk is doing my head in a bit lately again, just something about him really winds me up from time to time and as of late it's been that time.

The stuff between Orton and Cody was enjoyable, and I thought Cody's closing line was a nice touch. 

[d-d-d-dAz]

Chelsea Green broke her orbital bone on Smackdown. Rotten, rotten luck.

I hope it's an uncomplicated case and they let her wear a goofy mask and keep the title. If Liv Morgan can not defend for 100 days, Chelsea can surely not wrestle for 8 weeks.

[RedTwoster]

1 hour ago, d-d-d-dAz said:

Chelsea Green broke her orbital bone on Smackdown. Rotten, rotten luck.

I hope it's an uncomplicated case and they let her wear a goofy mask and keep the title. If Liv Morgan can not defend for 100 days, Chelsea can surely not wrestle for 8 weeks.

They could always crown an Interim Interim Champion.

[mim731]

If there's anyone who can carry off a goofy face mask and make it something brilliant, it's Chelsea Green.  She's brilliant at turning any old shit into gold. 

[Supremo]

On 8/8/2026 at 1:58 PM, LaGoosh said:

Is there lots of contentious history?!

Apart from Punk yelling at him in a ROH lockerroom 20 years ago and Punk throwing a wobbly that him and Sami Zayn had pizza with Colt Cabana once what history between them is there?

The only other thing that springs to mind is Kevin Owens being best mates with the Young Bucks, and hilariously Tweeting a photograph of himself main eventing Wrestlemania against Stone Cold the night of Brawl Out. Top trolling.

But yeah, as already mentioned, they nailed it by having Wade Barrett announce they wouldn’t be discussing their history. Not only did it avoid the awkward silences those shoot comments usually receive, but it also cleverly suggested there was even more bad blood than there actually is. More of this, please! Pro wrestling is a work. You can allude to any fictional backstory you want. There is no law that says all storylines have to be loosely based around what you can find in Wrestling Observer Newsletters.

It was never going to be as good as Eddie Kingston/CM Punk (will anything ever be that good again?), but as a Diet, WWE version of that, I thought the Punk/Owens promo was a spectacular bit of business. Fantastic chemistry and energy, this immediately felt like the hottest thing Punk has done since the Drew feud.

However, what an indictment of their writers that the best stuff was everything performed off mic. Those bits when they were squaring up to one another and jaw-jacking in each other’s faces, and then when the camera caught Punk mumbling, “fat piece of shit,” as he walked up the ramp at the end. That stuff was magic. Infinitely better than them trying to deliver the same, repetitive material they always script for Punk. At the risk of invoking TRIBAL COMBAT, you could see from watching this that they’d probably have the feud of the year if this was happening in AEW, with a much looser script. Of course, it’s equally as likely someone would overstep the mark and burn the company down, requiring years to recover. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

Excellent start to the feud, overall. Hopefully a sign of things to come and they’ve finally figured out how to get the most out of Punk. Stop trying to be clever. Stop trying to allude to backstage NEWZ only losers like me even understand. Just pair him with a good performer who can essentially deliver this.

 

Edited August 9 by Supremo

[Lorne Malvo]

Teesside Tintin! Christ that's something I haven't thought about in 20 years.

 

[Supremo]

Having now finished Smackdown, it was nice of get the full spectrum of chemistry. Show started with Punk and Owens having crazy good chemistry, lightning in a bottle, then ended with Charlotte and Jade displaying some of the worst, anti-chemistry of all time.

Check out the closing stretch after 7:30, where they fuck up everything. Never mind going home. This is stumbling home.

That’s the Unreal footage I want to see. How they rationalise always talking about Charlotte as an all-time great, with Charlotte always displaying this arrogant unprofessionalism, everyone seemingly ignoring the fact that she regularly shits the  bed and looks positively dreadful.

I’d love to see the atmosphere in Gorilla during and after that finish. Does anyone even acknowledge what a mess it was? Or is it all rounds of applause and high fives afterwards? Michael Hayes and Bobby Roode congratulating them.

”I like the bit where you fell over, followed by the mis-timed DDT, where Jade tried to go early.”

”Great work on that Top Rope Natural Selection. I particularly like the bump Jade took. Looked absolutely devastating and not at all like a toddler doing an awkward forward roll.”

”Thanks, I am the best, aren’t I?”

[tiger_rick]

I'd never talk any shit about Charlotte Flair and I won't about Alexa Bliss, she can look however she wants to look and I hope she's happy. However, if that thumbnail was the Question Of Sport picture round, I'm not getting it right. 

[thatvinylgeek]

If wanted to try and pull the trigger on heel dickhead Punk I think there is a much better program to be had against babyface KO rather than Cody. 

Owens and Sami for me deliver the most believable promos on the roster from a pure acting point of view. I'm assuming the majority of it (if not all is still scripted), but they deliver them very naturally, that's where your BAFTA lies, not in the cinematic nonsense. 

[d-d-d-dAz]

I love Chelsea Green. I really do. I can't tell you how much I hated that opening segment.

Would they script a men's champion to beg and cry, and then hug the GM when they get their way? I'm not sure they would script a women's wrestler they take seriously to. Just awful.

I also thought her delivery was all over the place, as they groped for the strongest argument. The stuff about how much humiliation she'd suffered to get to the title I thought was good, the general 'woe is me, bad stuff always happens to me' rubbish was beneath her.

Gunther/Aldis still crackles, and would love to see them go again... but, whoever scripted Chelsea to say 'OOH NICK, THAT WAS A GOOD ONE! TISSSSS!' deserves sacking. Possibly one of the worst delivered lines i've ever seen, up there with 'poopy' and 'sufferin' succotash'.

I wasn't sure it could have got worst, to my mind, for their women's champion... then they finish by making her a glorified valet to her absolute pumped up, purple skinned schlub of a husband.

Decent squash, top marks for wrestling in jeans for an impromptu match, but I wanted to cry by the time Nia Jax came out and the CHAMPION stood idly by begging Joe Tessitore for help as Nia and her mate beat up another babyface. Awful.

Also, Nia Jax? What are we doing here? Chelsea has a broken face already.

Anyway... Begging and crying? Tick. Gratitude to authority figures? Tick. Poorly delivered bad 'humour'? Tick. Valet work for a shithead? Tick. Standing idly by as someone trying to help you gets their head stoved in? Tick.

Ah, the classic WWE babyface booking in full swing. Shite.

I then skipped to Punk/Owens. Erm. Chemistry still good, but it's very quickly devolved into 'no one likes you BACKSTAGE' and 'WE CAN'T SAY AEW BUT...AEW' stuff. They still broadly kept the focus on their match, so that's good, but yeah on this showing it might not be a bad thing they're rushing to a match and an actual canon development, as we're one promo away from KO burning a polaroid of Larry and Punk bringing out little people dressed as the Young Bucks.

Mad that WWE even bother with implicit winks and nods to other companies, when their crowds don't even get the explicit references.

Oh, also, don't worry Chelsea. Your 'worst line ever' tag didn't last an hour. 'I called out Oba Femi, and got endometriosis'... what the fuck was that? Was it... racist? misogynistic? Both? Just dumb? Either way, shit. Fucking hell, you're meant to be one of the good microphone guys, you oddball.

This show is draining the life from my eyes.

Gunther is great. Why is Finn Balor wearing a harrington jacket with a cravat?

Cody/Orton is still good fun. I suspect it'll be excellent until they have to have a boring match.

Cody's second run as 'not a heel, not a babyface, just a winner' is going to be just as cursed as the first, but I did enjoy him saying Sami Zayn had a 'carpal tunnel'd gout wrist'.

Thought i'd give Smackdown a proper go this week. Regret it. Back to Instagram, for me. I even got proper fucking ads on Netflix for the first time. I'm now going to have to waste time googling if I can pay to get rid of them. 0 stars. Fuck off.

*EDIT* I went back and watched the full fat version of Owens/Punk, the Eddie/Punk promo. God, I thought Punk looked old then. He's put on about 20lbs of muscle and 20 years of hard yards.

Edited August 15 by d-d-d-dAz

[Chili]

I saw that Punk/Owens thing as it auto played on another app, it felt like they just transplanted the vibe of the Punk/Eddie feud except you can't really have Punk say Owens disappoints him or hasn't reached a level when the fella has won world championships and headlined a Wrestlemania against STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN.

 

[TheScarlettChad]

1 hour ago, Chili said:

I saw that Punk/Owens thing as it auto played on another app, it felt like they just transplanted the vibe of the Punk/Eddie feud except you can't really have Punk say Owens disappoints him or hasn't reached a level when the fella has won world championships and headlined a Wrestlemania against STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN.

 

Should've at least brought up the time he tweeted an photo of that match the weekend that Punk did his outburst. 

[Supremo]

"I'm calling out Oba Femi and I get Endometriosis instead."

What a grim, weird line. Women in my family have suffered with that. Last thing I’d ever consider is turning it into a bad joke, that barely works, in a shitty pro-wrestling promo.

Some feminist CM Punk is.