The Smackers Thread

[Supremo]

They won’t rip off Timeless Toni Storm beyond the aesthetics because they’re completely incapable of ever taking inspiration from anything new or different.

It’s as if there’s a genuine mandate in their Creative meetings that they’re only ever allowed to watch their own archival programming for new ideas and everything has to have already happened on WWE television before.

It’s mind-blowing to imagine them watching Toni Storm vs. Mariah May in its entirety and getting this from it. A homoerotic, ultra-violent thriller, steeped in the aesthetics of 1950s Hollywood, filled with twists and turns based on love, betrayal and revenge. And what is WWE’s read on it? “These women are dressed a bit like when we did, “Emmalina,” decades ago. Let’s sign Mariah May and do that again, with her.”

It’s my theory as to why WWE love AI so much; they’ve been writing like AI for ages. Going back over itself, scraping the same reference points, endlessly regurgitating it to diminishing returns. It’s why every comedy character ends up like Danhausen and Joe Henry, singing unfunny songs, every female character talks like a bully in a 90s high school comedy and every time they sign a new non-white talent they just bunch them together.

“Who’s this Hiromu Takahashi guy? Sounds foreign. Japanese, is he? Team him with Nakamura then, probably.”

Edited August 23 by Supremo

[RedTwoster]

47 minutes ago, Supremo said:

They won’t rip off Timeless Toni Storm beyond the aesthetics because they’re completely incapable of ever taking inspiration from anything new or different.

I also don’t think Mariah May could pull off that character even if they tried to rip it off. Judging by her Hey EW appearance way back when, she’s incredibly witty and fun, but that’s never really translated to her on-screen persona. I still rate her highly and wish she’d stayed with AEW, but mic work has never been her strength. But heck, Mercedes Mone is cutting some of the promos of her life right now so there’s always hope.

[Supremo]

Wrong thread. Please ignore.

(Although, if @JLM likes this post, please consider this a legally binding agreement that he’ll start reviewing weekly television again.)

Edited August 25 by Supremo

[SuperBacon]

I watched Punk vs Owens which I thought was really great but everything outside the ring is just absolutely shit. The comms are terrible and what insufferable arseholes the entire crowd is. The geezer in the front row with the belt shouting Sami, the woman next to him doing some sort of "kill the mic" throat gesture, the absolute CUNTS with their hands on their head all the time. We get it, you want to be on TV*

I honestly think I'd watch more if I didn't have to look at these tossers half the screen time.

 

*Slight derail but this shit is everywhere now, look at those two United dickheads that stood there with their arms out at the front of the away section at Hull for a good couple of minutes, desperately trying to be pickdd up on camera. That's just not how normal people react, we're British. We tut, mutter "fuck sake" and then fiddle with our shirt sleeve.

[Supremo]

Punk vs. Owens is probably my second favourite WWE match of the year. Every time I think Punk is completely washed, he puts on his Daz Doorstep Challenge, whiter-than-white gear and reminds me why I’ll always love him.

An absolute fucking THRILL watching The Punker play heel here. What the fuck are they doing not pulling the trigger on a full blown heel turn already. Do we really need another year or two of him having the exact same feud with everyone, rinsing and repeating the Eddie Kingston and MJF once more? A copy of a copy of a copy. CM Punk left wrestling for seven years. Everyone backstage hates him FOR A SHOOT. He was a bit of a knobhead in ROH twenty years ago. Okay. We’ve covered it now, lads. Move on.

Drives me positively insane watching a performer as good as Punk, whose greatest strengths have always been when he’s cast as a heel, now in the twilight of his career, with limited time left, when his hypocrisy and shithousery has never been more exposed and ready to exploit, and yet they soldier on with him as a top babyface. The answer is right there. Turn him into the biggest heel in the business, let him revel in what a dickhead he so obviously is, and ride that wave until his body gives out.

Now watch. In three months time they’ll have decided to turn Cody instead. Punk will be having the same rubbish feud he always has, this time with Randy Orton, whilst Cody is doing something stupid that doesn’t work at all. Dye his hair black again or something. Maybe get an even bigger tattoo on the other side of his neck.

[d-d-d-dAz]

Watching KO open the show, fighting back the tears about his medical issues and his mum's health, I couldn't help but wonder why this wasn't their go-home promo.

Keep your endometriosis nonsense, have KO tearing up and talking about his family. That's the money.

They might have spilled it down themselves, but there's still enough there to scoop it onto a plate and make a good meal of KO/Punk. Fuck Gunther off, fuck Sami off. Let's just re-run this properly.

Oh, 'did you forget about me?' / 'the line starts with Finn Balor'.. Fuck off mate.

Edited August 29 by d-d-d-dAz
Ironically, I forgot Finn Balor.

[TheScarlettChad]

Balors been shite for ten years. Sack him off. Owens vs. Punk should have been a ppv feud and hopefully WWE realizes this and course corrects or....A multi man WWE title match would be great. 

[RedTwoster]

This was the most Déjà vu wrestling I’ve ever seen. I had to double check very early on to make sure I’d not started watching the previous week’s episode as it felt like I’d seen everything already in some shape or form involving the exact same people. I know WWE has had a habit of prolonging storylines, but this is probably the first time I felt as convinced as I was that I’d already seen this. Maybe it’s me getting older, maybe it’s their ChatGPT booking, but I’m still feeling a degree of Groundhog Day. 

[d-d-d-dAz]

2 hours ago, RedTwoster said:

This was the most Déjà vu wrestling I’ve ever seen. I had to double check very early on to make sure I’d not started watching the previous week’s episode as it felt like I’d seen everything already in some shape or form involving the exact same people. I know WWE has had a habit of prolonging storylines, but this is probably the first time I felt as convinced as I was that I’d already seen this. Maybe it’s me getting older, maybe it’s their ChatGPT booking, but I’m still feeling a degree of Groundhog Day. 

This was only CM Punk and Kevin Owens 4th interaction on TV, one of which was a match.

This might be more of an issue with your attention span, as opposed to them prolonging stories.

If the overlords of wrestling are watching, I am perfectly happy with feuds lasting longer than a month (match inclusive). I'm positively supportive, if anything. My major concern is that they've rushed KO/Punk, not that it's gone on too long.

[Supremo]

If they’re using the Punk/Seth feud as a blueprint we’ve got approximately another twelve to eighteen months of Owens vs. Punk, so you’ll definitely get your fill.

[RedTwoster]

2 hours ago, d-d-d-dAz said:

This was only CM Punk and Kevin Owens 4th interaction on TV, one of which was a match.

This might be more of an issue with your attention span, as opposed to them prolonging stories.

If the overlords of wrestling are watching, I am perfectly happy with feuds lasting longer than a month (match inclusive). I'm positively supportive, if anything. My major concern is that they've rushed KO/Punk, not that it's gone on too long.

I’m not talking about the feuds, I’m talking about the execution. Main event is a multi-person match for the number one contendership. A version of this very match with more of less the same people happened mere weeks ago at Summerslam. 

It ended in a no-contest due to Sami Zayn. Last week, the Punk/Owens match also involved outside interference from Sami Zayn.

Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss have been arsing around with the Baddies for months now - seriously, take a look, it’s been going on for ages.

Similarly, how many matches have we seen involving Nia Jax and Tiffany Stratton? Granted it was a tag match this week, but it feels so prolonged. Then again, everything Jax does feels prolonged.

Then there’s Cody/Orton. The quality of their Mania feud doesn’t help, but there hasn’t been a huge amount of progression or development in the story, outside of McAfee getting ditched. 

Trick/Corbin once again feels like a feud that’ll never die. You look at the show and it’s very difficult to answer the question of ‘what is new’? The answer is not very much.

Perhaps this is more an issue with your attention span, and that’s why you didn’t notice. Who’s to say? 😉

Edited August 29 by RedTwoster
Typed ‘Fatal Influence’, meant ‘The Baddies’.

[d-d-d-dAz]

16 minutes ago, RedTwoster said:

Perhaps this is more an issue with your attention span, and that’s why you didn’t notice. Who’s to say? 😉

Well, to be fair, you did say you had to check 'very early on' to make sure you weren't watching a previous episode.

You've then defended that position by referencing how the main event ended, Cody/Orton and other things that didn't happen 'very early on'.

What happened 'very early on' was KO came out to cut a promo, and was interrupted by CM Punk. Which, I don't think has been part of an overly long feud.

So, if 'very early on' you were frustrated by things that happened in the second hour of the show, maybe it's not a lack of attention span and instead you're struggling to come to terms with your ability to predict the future.

But, if you didn't mean you had to check 'very early on' and were instead referring to the vast sweep of WWE's booking, I have less of an issue with that point. But, that said, Punk, KO, Gunther, Sami, Cody, Orton are the Smackdown main event scene, so it probably shouldn't be a surprise they're continuously in each others orbit. There's no one else to chuck in there. 

[MVP RULZ]

54 minutes ago, RedTwoster said:

Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss have been arsing around with Fatal Influence for months now - seriously, take a look, it’s been going on for ages.

I'm confused by this take considering Charlotte, Alexa and Tatum aren't even feuding with Fatal Influence

Jayce Jaynce faced Paige on Smackdown and Tatum faced Michin

It's Jade, B-Fab and Michin who Charlotte, Alexa and Tatum have been feuding with

And not counting live shows in the link you provided Charlotte hasn't faced anyone from Fatal Influence since May?

 

[RedTwoster]

8 hours ago, d-d-d-dAz said:

Well, to be fair, you did say you had to check 'very early on' to make sure you weren't watching a previous episode.

You've then defended that position by referencing how the main event ended, Cody/Orton and other things that didn't happen 'very early on'.

What happened 'very early on' was KO came out to cut a promo, and was interrupted by CM Punk. Which, I don't think has been part of an overly long feud.

 

There’s a bit of hyperbole of course, but even the direction of Owens/Punk doesn’t feel fresh. At this point I’m being subjective and perception comes into it, but to me it just felt like everything here was a retread. I’m someone who has enjoyed WWE at various points during the post-McMahon era, and I think it’s underperformed at times at the UKFF Awards. Even so, everything feels like it’s happening on a loop to me.

8 hours ago, d-d-d-dAz said:

But, if you didn't mean you had to check 'very early on' and were instead referring to the vast sweep of WWE's booking, I have less of an issue with that point. But, that said, Punk, KO, Gunther, Sami, Cody, Orton are the Smackdown main event scene, so it probably shouldn't be a surprise they're continuously in each others orbit. There's no one else to chuck in there. 

See, that’s a choice, though. They’re choosing to have a roster split, and they’re choosing to take their time with the likes of Trick Williams and Oba Femi. But even then, they don’t necessarily need a full main event overhaul, they just need to vary their approach and the way they tell stories. As it stands, pretty much every show starts the same way; with wrestlers arriving. On the whole, it doesn’t feel like there’s much character development with the vast majority of the roster, or even much of an effort to make them feel like there’s a direction in mind. I’d exclude Sami Zayn from this, and there are probably others too, but I feel like they tell different versions of the same story quite frequently.

7 hours ago, MVP RULZ said:

I'm confused by this take considering Charlotte, Alexa and Tatum aren't even feuding with Fatal Influence

Jayce Jaynce faced Paige on Smackdown and Tatum faced Michin

It's Jade, B-Fab and Michin who Charlotte, Alexa and Tatum have been feuding with

And not counting live shows in the link you provided Charlotte hasn't faced anyone from Fatal Influence since May?

 

My mistake - I typed Fatal Influence and I’ve just realised I meant The Baddies. I was pretty confused by your comment until I realised my own error, apols.

Edited August 29 by RedTwoster

[Supremo]

No more fitting way for Hiromu Takahashi to start his WWE career than a Smackdown tag match against The Miz, who fails to catch him on a dive.

Welcome to the party, pal!