Paid Members Gus Mears Posted April 18 Paid Members Posted April 18 I've got a big plaster on the end of my primary arse wiping finger due to a cut. Working around this should not be an complicated as it feels. Quote
Paid Members Lorne Malvo Posted May 7 Paid Members Posted May 7 Had a massive shite at work then realised we didn't have any toilet roll, so just had to wipe my arse with a kitchen towel. How's everyone elses day going? Quote
Paid Members gmoney Posted May 7 Paid Members Posted May 7 Kitchen towel as in kitchen roll or like a tea towel? Fair fucking play if it's the latter. Once when I was a kid a next door neighbour kid knocked on our door and asked if they could borrow some toilet roll as their dad had gone to the toilet without realising they didn't have any. My dad went off to get some, then one of their other kids came to the door and shouted "don't worry, he's used my vest!" Quote
Paid Members Lorne Malvo Posted May 7 Paid Members Posted May 7 28 minutes ago, gmoney said: Kitchen towel as in kitchen roll or like a tea towel? Fair fucking play if it's the latter. Tea towel 😆 Desperate times and all that... Quote
Members SuperBacon Posted May 7 Members Posted May 7 14 minutes ago, Lorne Malvo said: Tea towel 😆 Desperate times and all that... I'm alright for a tea today thanks. Quote
Paid Members gmoney Posted May 7 Paid Members Posted May 7 (edited) "Who cleared up a load of foul smelling Bovril?" Edited May 7 by gmoney Quote
Paid Members Lorne Malvo Posted May 7 Paid Members Posted May 7 I'd just like to confirm the towel was wrapped up inside another tea towel, then both of them went immediately into the industrial wheely bin outside our warehouse. Although this is the forum where we shag cousins and try to return shoes we're wearing, so I can see why I'd have to clarify that. Quote
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted May 7 Paid Members Posted May 7 tbh it's a minor miracle we haven't had an 'Unusual Things You've Wiped Your Arse On' thread on here. Quote
Paid Members TheBurningRed Posted May 7 Paid Members Posted May 7 (edited) 42 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said: tbh it's a minor miracle we haven't had an 'Unusual Things You've Wiped Your Arse On' thread on here. Took a shit in a field one night as I was desperate and wouldn’t make it home. All I had in my pocket was a very long Nando’s receipt that did the job. So I’m sure we can make that thread as that’s two now. Edited May 7 by TheBurningRed Quote
Awards Moderator Frankie Crisp Posted May 7 Awards Moderator Posted May 7 1 hour ago, Devon Malcolm said: tbh it's a minor miracle we haven't had an 'Unusual Things You've Wiped Your Arse On' thread on here. Quote
simonworden Posted May 9 Posted May 9 Just want to thank you all once again for the best laugh I've had in weeks. Even when life gets tough, there's a thread or two that makes you feel all better. Quote
Thefatduck Posted May 9 Posted May 9 (edited) Got caught short when out clubbing in the late 90s in Liverpool. Sat down, released the hounds and to my horror there was no paper on the holder. Realised there was only one (or two) things for it. Socks. Reader, they didn’t flush. Edited May 9 by Thefatduck I’m pissed and can’t proof read. Quote
davertfnewman Posted May 9 Posted May 9 Similarly, I was in a pub a decade ago and went to wipe and there was nothing there, so just had to clench and get out of the place and then drive up the road to a service station to do clean up. Quote
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