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Random Thoughts III.

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I was watching the MSG show from 1985 with, the brilliantly titled, 'Colossal Jostle' between Andre and King Kong Bundy. I think it must be a record for the number of times Gorilla Monsoon decided to pointlessly big up the weight of a wrestler. I'm barely half way in too.

King Kong Bundy, billed at 440lbs: 'You're not telling me that Bundy is under 500 pounds'

-'GIVE ME A BREAK' no way is Bundy 440'. 

Andre the Giant, billed at 520lbs: 'This is the biggest I've ever seen Andre, he looks to be in excess of 550 pounds'. 

Ventura: 'I hope they have reinforced the ring, we've got almost 1,000 pounds of weight in there, Monsoon!'.

Monsoon: 'Actually Jess, It's far in excess of that with these two in here' (it wasn't). 

Adrian Adonis, billed at 265lbs: 'No way is Adonis 260, he's well over that 300 pound mark'

- 'Adonis looks to me to have gained about 60 pounds over the past few months' 

Jim Neidhart, billed at 275lbs: 'Here's the big 300 pounder, Anvil Neidhart'.

- 'Neidhart, the power man of the team, the 300 pounder'

SD Jones, billed at about 260 lbs: 'SD looks to be in the best shape of his career, he's got to be up near 280 pounds'.

And so on and so forth... 

Edited by Gus Mears

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He paid for that at King Of The Ring in 1994 when he met Art Donovan. The only man in the world who was more obsessed with the wrestlers weight than him. 

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You're not wrong. Probably my favourite celebrity commentary turn of all time. Donovan comes across as if he's suffered a serious brain injury backstage before the show started. I think it's pretty much proof that wrestling has forever passed me by that I would rather watch bladdered Grandpa Simpson over watching WrestleMania this year. 

'How much does this fella weigh?'

'My favourite is [looks at notes] RAY-ZER RAM-OWN'. 

'How much does this fella weigh?'

'Who's that, Randy?'

'How much does this fella weigh?'

[Lex Luger, main event superstar, comes down to the ring] 'Who is dis guy with tha flag?'

'How much does this fella weigh?'

'Who's dat girl over there?'

'How much does this fella weigh?' 

'Is dat how you guys wrestled in the ring like that?'

'How much does this fella weigh?' 

The best bit is after about 5 matches in, when Monsoon and Savage just decide to completely ignore any of Art's inane questions and continue to talk as he rattles off 'how much does this fella weigh?' like a water damaged Furby. 

Edited by Gus Mears

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I actually watched King of the Ring 1994 last night, completely forgetting it was the Art Donovan show. The extent to which they end up completely ignoring him by the end of the show is amazing. Imagine the state of Vince sitting in production listening to that all night!

As much as they had some absolute stinkers on in the guest host days, I can't imagine them ever again making the mistake of getting someone so utterly clueless and putting them in the position of having a live microphone for the entire show.

 

It may just be in comparison to Art Donovan, but I was actually really impressed with Savage on commentary on that show, though. I always had it in mind that he was a bit too overbearing a commentator, but he's really good at getting the drama of the matches across, especially the Lawler/Piper match.

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My favourite thing about that is how genuinely irritated Gorilla gets as the show goes on, to the point where Art changes his mind on his pick for the tournament and it sounds like Gorilla wants to lamp him, while Randy Savage tries not to laugh. 

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19 minutes ago, mim731 said:

My favourite thing about that is how genuinely irritated Gorilla gets as the show goes on, to the point where Art changes his mind on his pick for the tournament and it sounds like Gorilla wants to lamp him, while Randy Savage tries not to laugh. 

For as much as I remember Gorilla as being this kind-hearted jolly old uncle figure of the WWF, he could be a right mardy bastard on commentary sometimes, and it's hilarious. He would constantly rag on referees getting things wrong, and noticeably lose his temper all the time. There's a point during one of the matches at KOTR 94 where the referee starts to count a pin on a figure four leglock and he says, "it's a submission hold, not a pinning combination, ref!" with so much spite. When you notice that sort of thing once or twice, you start to hear it in his commentary all the time.

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I particularly liked it when he gave wrestler's shit for their technique during matches. Gorilla being renowned for his airtight technical prowess.  

In the aforementioned Colossal Jostle show, he's burying Scott McGee's forearms throughout the match for no apparent reason, 'they just don't have any snap on them like Les Thornton's do'. Next up he's complaining about SD Jones' inability to perform better move combinations than repeated headbutt's. This is before we get to 100 instances of him telling people to hook the leg when going for a pin (probably). 

Edited by Gus Mears

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1 hour ago, BomberPat said:

It may just be in comparison to Art Donovan, but I was actually really impressed with Savage on commentary on that show, though. I always had it in mind that he was a bit too overbearing a commentator, but he's really good at getting the drama of the matches across, especially the Lawler/Piper match.

I quite liked Savage on colour commentary as well during that time. Especially enjoyed the 3 man team at the 1993 KOTR with Savage, Jim Ross and Bobby Heenan. That’s a combination that sounds like it wouldn’t work but I really liked it. Might be just me though as I don’t think they used that team again. 

Oh and while we’re discussing Art Donovan;

 

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16 minutes ago, tiger_rick said:

KOTR '93 is JR calling Dayton, Ohio the heartland of America about 8000 times.

True but that was somewhat counterbalanced for me by the arena being called The Nutter Centre, which was hilarious to 8 year old me. 

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OSW Review reviewed KOTR 93 earlier this week. Apparently Dayton was¬†considered a ‚ÄúB City‚ÄĚ at the time, and they didn‚Äôt want their new PPV to look lowrent so they referred to Dayton itself as little as possible, kind¬†of like when they held Crown Jewel there last month

Edited by WyattSheepMask

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