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Doomed anecdotal megathread #2


Sergio Mendacious

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Random question... has anyone heard of a guy named "David Wiggy Wiggins" across social media (Facebook in particular)? I got fed up with seeing his name pop up as a 'new' follower on one of my pages so I did a search for his names and found 56 (!!) profiles with this name or slight variation thereof. I Googled him and found he also has multiple LinkedIn accounts and is mentioned on a few forums. Is he like an online cult figure I'm not aware of or just a weird spammer using his name and details?

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12 hours ago, WyattSheepMask said:

I think my sister in law has lost her marbles. This is going to sound like something straight off of Footballer’s Wives or Jeremy Kyle.

 

It all started towards the end of 2015 when she split with the guy she was seeing. Then in January 2016, they got back together for a little bit to see if they could make another go of it. It didn't work out, so they decided to not get back together.

   Roll on a couple of months later, and my sister in law is pregnant. The guy doesn't want anything to do with her or the kid (he has three kids from a previous marriage), and even goes so far as to say to people that he has had a vasectomy, so it can't possibly be his.

   Baby was due in October but was born premature in September, but thankfully all healthy and was home a couple of days after being born. The guy sees on SIL's Facebook that the baby has been born, and figures it must be someone else's kid as it was born in September, so using his detective skills he deducts that she must have slept with somebody in December (she didn't).

   A couple of months go by, and then he decides that he wants a DNA test doing to prove that baby is his. SIL doesn’t want him involved in the kid’s life and so refuses, as it can’t possibly be someone else as the dad. After a few weeks back & forth, she relents and says fine to the DNA test.

 

Now, here is where it gets a bit barmy.

   She first asked “is it possible to buy fake DNA tests?”. She figured you could just go on Ebay or something and buy them. Then she thought she would be able to fake a form using Microsoft Word.

   After finally figuring out that she’ll have to get a test done, and as she doesn’t want anything to do with the guy she has decided to lie to him about a “slim chance” that the dad could be somebody that she slept with at Christmas, but she will go through with the DNA regardless. In order for there to be a different DNA result, she asks me if I could be the sample for it. “Don’t drag me into your pathetic, metal charade” was the answer of any sane individual I feel.

   So now, she has decided to ask her friend, who has wanted to get with her for years (when she asked if we thought that he was “after something more”, “It’s so obvious, Ray Charles can see it and he’s blind & dead”) and would walk through fire if he thought it would improve his chances...and he has agreed to it.

 

So to summarise, my Sister In Law has decided that rather than face up to the responsibility of being an adult and allowing the dad to be involved in his child’s life, even if it did take longer than it really should have done, she had decided to lie to him, fake DNA results using the guy whose desperate to be with her, all so that she doesn’t have to be involved with the dad.

I've got to ask how that works? Surely the hospital needs to take DNA directly from the kid and the dad?

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4 hours ago, Monkee said:

Random question... has anyone heard of a guy named "David Wiggy Wiggins" across social media (Facebook in particular)? I got fed up with seeing his name pop up as a 'new' follower on one of my pages so I did a search for his names and found 56 (!!) profiles with this name or slight variation thereof. I Googled him and found he also has multiple LinkedIn accounts and is mentioned on a few forums. Is he like an online cult figure I'm not aware of or just a weird spammer using his name and details?

Having a look it doesn't look like a cult thing, my guess is that he's a confused older man that probably doesn't know how to use the internet or social media very well and has inadvertently set up multiple accounts.

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3 hours ago, simonworden said:

I've got to ask how that works? Surely the hospital needs to take DNA directly from the kid and the dad?

she'll be using one of those swab yourself at home kits that you send off in the post surely? not going to a real hospital and getting them to do it. I take it she won't be swabbing herself as otherwise they'd flag that not only was this guy not the father but that she wasn't the mother?

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23 minutes ago, simonworden said:

I see, had no idea you could do that in the UK. Seems surprisingly wishy washy. Let us know how it turns out though!

UK police officers take DNA swabs in their stations as & when required; it's not a medical procedure.  Hell, school kids do it in Biology lessons ...

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Was at the Fab Cafe quiz last night, the guy was about to take part in the bonus round and the quizmaster said they were having an Alan Partridge quiz on Monday.  He then asked the contestant his name and when he said it was Dan, you can guess the rest.

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52 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

Was at the Fab Cafe quiz last night, the guy was about to take part in the bonus round and the quizmaster said they were having an Alan Partridge quiz on Monday.  He then asked the contestant his name and when he said it was Dan, you can guess the rest.

He was attacked by his Ukrainian girlfriend with a rubber hammer, as she is mildly cretinous? 

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I ordered some stuff I really want not from Amazon - eBay, and a small niche website without package tracking. I had completely the forgotten the excitement of not knowing what day stuff you ordered is going to arrive.

🤞 Come on  sausage stuffer and meat hooks!

 

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