mikehoncho Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 this is the thread where people talk about poo isn't it? I hope so, I'd been getting some blood on the toilet paper and after having a doctor's fingers up there this morning she seems to think I've got a small hemorrhoid and wants me to drink laxatives and put a suppository up my bum. I'll report back. In my mid-30s I started experiencing a similar thing; doc didn't want to check my insides, but turns out the blood vessels around the anus were randomly popping. I tried to explain that I wasn't dropping massive payloads, & sometimes the delivery was rather ... light ... the odd pebble maybe ... I wasn't straining, or at least didn't feel like I was. The random popping of the bum-vessels was a too vigorous wiping method. Even with soft balmed feather-feel crapper wrapper. I started using baby wipes in the end, & not only did they work wonders, but the soothing dampness was very welcome after a curry. And the moisturised wipes also fixed the bum-vessels. These days I do a "wet 'n' dry" cleaning operation post-plop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Wiseau Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 around this time last year I farted while crossing the road on the way to the Irish Centre in Birmingham and realised that I'd more than farted. I didn't say anything to my mrs obviously just told her to order me a Guinness on the way in and went into the toilets (in a cubicle with no lock) took my boots, jeans and actually really new pair of Star Wars undergarments off to discover they were full of slime. nothing brown but proper slime, like the ectoplasm on the library books in Ghostbusters. there wasn't a bin so I (to my shame) hid them out of site behind the waste pipe. over the new week every time I shat it was all slimey, it came out even easier than normal but wrapped in thick clear slime. I decided that if it lasted a month I'd book an appointment at the doctors, thankfully at the three week point it stopped, so I self diagnosed that there was nothing wrong with me. it was a cracking pint of Guinness when I got out of the toilets though. I've never told anybody this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted January 30, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2017 Had you, at some point, eaten some slime? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Wiseau Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Had you, at some point, eaten some slime? not knowingly, no. it stopped after a few weeks though so I stopped worrying about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted January 30, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2017 See when I'm 40 in Scotland, do I need to get a prostrate exam every year? I just can't find a straight answer. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted January 30, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2017 An average 40 year old, perhaps not. But you definitely should, seeing as you're prone to catching everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAREBEAR LUVVA Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Is that some sort of test to make sure you can lie down properly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted January 30, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2017 Is that some sort of test to make sure you can lie down properly? Gold! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted January 31, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 31, 2017 I'm in Amsterdam and the bog has a chod-shelf. This is no good with the amount of beer my bowels are having to deal with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted January 31, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 31, 2017 Alas, shit-splattered shelving reminiscent of a Tarantino film shot with a beige filter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted January 31, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 31, 2017 around this time last year I farted while crossing the road on the way to the Irish Centre in Birmingham and realised that I'd more than farted. I didn't say anything to my mrs obviously just told her to order me a Guinness on the way in and went into the toilets (in a cubicle with no lock) took my boots, jeans and actually really new pair of Star Wars undergarments off to discover they were full of slime. nothing brown but proper slime, like the ectoplasm on the library books in Ghostbusters. there wasn't a bin so I (to my shame) hid them out of site behind the waste pipe. over the new week every time I shat it was all slimey, it came out even easier than normal but wrapped in thick clear slime. I decided that if it lasted a month I'd book an appointment at the doctors, thankfully at the three week point it stopped, so I self diagnosed that there was nothing wrong with me. it was a cracking pint of Guinness when I got out of the toilets though. I've never told anybody this. It's not unusual. If what I'm told is right, If your diet is mostly low in fat and then you eat a lot of high fat food it can not break down in the bowel and you pass it as a slime in or on the stool, or as a sort of additional expulsion. It could also be an infection of the last stage of the intestine or anus, or an the fighting of an infection of a fissure in that area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Or it could be left overs from alien anal probing. Or ectoplasm. Bummed by ghosts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted February 1, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2017 (edited) Or ectoplasm. Bummed by ghosts. Come on Steve, everyone knows ghost prefer to rim, preferably while Derek Acorah wanks off in the wardrobe. Edited February 1, 2017 by Tommy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Arn Anderson's Darb Posted February 1, 2017 Members Share Posted February 1, 2017 Five poos in a day? Is that normal? I have a regular clearout around 11pm every day that gets the job done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Fives a lot I think. I' m generally three a day and I've been told that even that is excessive. Fairly sure my Mrs only does one every few days, like a python. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts