Mr_Danger Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015  Why do you constantly keep in contact with your exes? Cut all contact. In short though relationship ends if a friendship is possible and break up wasnt messy or mutual then go with that.  They are two separate things and what may not work in a romantic way, can work as a friendship as you know each other inside out, but it's not complicated by relationship pressures.  No desire to get physical etc with any of them again or get back with them etc. Stuff that is good in a friendship, advice etc can remain, depending on the person  Not one for this whole must cease all contact because it's expected bollocks or else you cant move on dealio either, it's all very American.  Aren't all of your ex's mentals though? Why would you bother? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Linus Posted December 29, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted December 29, 2015 I'm not in contact with any of mine. Either I ended it and they still wanted me, or they ended it and I still wanted them. Neither is a good basis for a friendship, IMO. I am a manchild, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patiirc Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015  It's not going to be the same for everyone though. Some people can't keep contact with an ex and still move on. Especially when they'd been with that person a long time. I don't have figures to back this up of course, but I'd say most breakups aren't a mutual thing. Usually one half of the couple is wanting to make another go of things. So keeping in touch after splitting up is just going to make things more difficult in that respect. I don't think that's exclusive to Americans  I don't have many exes. Not what I'd consider proper exes anyway because I haven't had many long term relationships. If it was a brief thing I never had a problem moving on. But splitting up with my first long term girlfriend was hard to get over. We'd been together going on 8 years from teens-early 20s and we'd been through a lot of shit together. It definitely would've taken me a lot longer to move on if we'd kept in touch after breaking up at the time. Now it's not an issue. We've always had a couple of mutual friends so every now and then we bump into each other. It's not awkward at all now. We've both got on with our lives and had kids and stuff. It's different. But for a while there I made a conscious effort to avoid her after we split. It'll be different for everyone but that was the right call for me.   Nah I agree, is down to the people involved. I've just seen it as a bit 'American' to cut off your ex and never speak to them ever again. Not even sure where the 'American' came from, but appears the done thing in some TV shows, and dating websites and the like  Aren't all of your ex's mentals though? Why would you bother?     I bother because, the friendship is worth it, in most cases having no relationship pressures does actually make things massively easier as things that would windup in love, are not the same as being mates.  Ex1; Fairly short term, normal. She moved to Hong Kong for a bit, pre internet chat stuff, came back, got on well. She's married and doing well in probation service at the moment, some high flying troubleshooter . She couldn't handle transition and off fucked.- Red Head  Ex2: 13 years, engaged to be married. Still living with until the beginning of this year. Close, but nothing other than a friendship. She had multiple suicide attempts, anxiety panics and the rest whilst together. Now happily engaged to her new fella, back at work and has a 6month old. Weirded out by transition and has disappeared.  Ex3; Short Term, Lesbian who wanted to try men. very depressed, used to smother herself in Germolene every day.. weird! Now a social worker/care worker. Not really kept in contact- Multi Coloured Hair  Ex4, Short Term,  mainly emotional affair with Bi lass. Some fooling about. Lost contact for a decade, got in contact again, still quite close now-Red Head  Ex5; BPD mentalist, married to next boyfriend after abusing the shite out of me short term.- Only contact have had was went a mutual mate went missing.- Pink/Red Head  Ex6/8. Short term with lass with a disability. Fantastic girl, but we arent compatible in a relationship at all despite trying twice. However still in contact and get on well, not faffed with transition.- Red Head  Ex7 Short term with Theatre Arts director type, she'd been catfished and abused in her youth. Didn't work out as we were both at different stages of life. Still quite close, she is off to Germany to live in the new year to be with her boyfriend.-Very cool with Transition.  Ex9: 2 years (known for longer), Engaged- Narcissist, utterly insane. stalked me to oblivion afterwards, all kinds of crap during. Recently found out that her following boyfriends have turned the tables somewhat and let down car tyres etc. One of her ex's has recently been to court after threats to kill her. I think I got off quite lightly considering.- No contact whatsoever since split.-Red Head  EX10: 6 months, relationship totalled through fall out from Ex9, very needy and controlling in relationship, great mate out of it. now close mates with Ex2, Very not okay with transition. She's cut all contact because of it.  Ex11; 12 months roughly, Messy, Narcissist, no idea what she wants. Engaged for 3rd time. Now with another fella, possibly pregnant already. Were getting on okay, but she freaked out, came back and freaked out again. Very okay with Transition- Red Head.  So remained friends with about 7 out of my ex's until started transition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLowdown1987 Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 How old are you? 60? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patiirc Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 How old are you? 60? 37 in Feb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Thunderplex Posted December 29, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted December 29, 2015 Bloody hell Pat, you've had more clunge than Maxwell! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UK Kat Von D Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 (edited) No chance fam. Last time I went to the clinic we tried to work out my number of sexual partners over the last 12 months and we had to get a calculator out to determine a rough estimate.  In all seriousness I am pretty in love at the moment so I have been a really good boy lately. We only had one date a week ago but can't stop thinking about her. Really couldn't ask for anymore in a girl  *disclaimer: because some people seem to struggle understanding what a joke is I'd like to point out that the story about the clinic was a tongue in cheek joke (Loosely based off a true story but still not something to get butt hurt over) Edited December 29, 2015 by UK Kat Von D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted December 29, 2015 Awards Moderator Share Posted December 29, 2015 No chance fam. Last time I went to the clinic we tried to work out my number of sexual partners over the last 12 months and we had to get a calculator out to determine a rough estimate. Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jaffa Posted December 30, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted December 30, 2015 *disclaimer: because some people seem to struggle understanding what a joke is I'd like to point out that the story about the clinic was a tongue in cheek joke (Loosely based off a true story but still not something to get butt hurt over) My Nan once beat me up in the reception of Swansea Sexual Health Clinic. Â True story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UK Kat Von D Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 I said "loosely based off" because the calculator was actually to work out the amount of times I should have caught the clap according to statistics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdgarTheSlouch Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Â *disclaimer: because some people seem to struggle understanding what a joke is I'd like to point out that the story about the clinic was a tongue in cheek joke (Loosely based off a true story but still not something to get butt hurt over) My Nan once beat me up in the reception of Swansea Sexual Health Clinic. Â True story. Â The question has to be,,,,,were you there *for* each other or *because* of each other.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted December 30, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted December 30, 2015 (edited) Â *disclaimer: because some people seem to struggle understanding what a joke is I'd like to point out that the story about the clinic was a tongue in cheek joke (Loosely based off a true story but still not something to get butt hurt over) My Nan once beat me up in the reception of Swansea Sexual Health Clinic. Â True story. Â Â I always feel for the people standing in the Queue waiting for the Sandyford Sexual Health Clinic in Glasgow to open. Talk about getting wound up. Â ADDED: I've never, or currently have, any sexual diseases by the way. Just walking by. Edited December 30, 2015 by bAzTNM#1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Maverick Posted December 30, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted December 30, 2015 Baz confirmed for bad aids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MungoChutney Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Sandyford provides a host of services though. Free condoms, coils and other stuff is done via there. So I've heard anyway.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UK Kat Von D Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Deleted tinder earlier, fallen in love with a top lass and it's going really nicely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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