Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted September 4, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted September 4, 2015 What I would do in that situation is leave the room and not come back for a day or two and hope it's gone. Granted, it's probably still in the room somewhere but out of sight, out of mind. Or lock my cats in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 All my shit's in here and I was right in the middle of catching up on G1 Climax. Climax. Can't be nothing anticlimactic about this. My plan is to put a frying pan on one side of it and then smash it into it with a saucepan. I'll let you know how that...pans out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) It took more time and whimpering than even I'd pictured, throwing a copy of Halliwell's Film Guide 2008 and 5 wrestling figures to get it onto ground level, then a further 15 minutes vigilantly locating it before getting it with the rolling pin. I learned about perseverance today, just not courage Edited September 4, 2015 by sj5522 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted September 15, 2015 Awards Moderator Share Posted September 15, 2015 The Ascension of fucking spiders were waiting for me in the shower this morning. I didn't spot them until I was actually in and the water was on, luckily they were washed away before I started panicking. Add them to the giant bastard who's been lingering in the doorway for the past week trapping me in the living room like Julian Assange in the Ecuadorian Embassy and it's definitely spider season round our way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dash X Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 My wife is petrified of spiders, and I can see why, seeing as they're, you know, tiny and everything  But seriously, we have this hand held vacuum thing that she uses when I'm not around. Pretty effective, even though I think she's evil for using it Tell her they are probably breeding inside the Hoover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted September 17, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted September 17, 2015 Just seeing that this thread has been bumped puts me on edge each time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members GlennCullen Posted September 18, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted September 18, 2015 Went for a slash the other day and noticed the toilet roll holder was empty. "No big deal"Â I thought to myself as I reached for a new one, only for a bloody great spider (and I mean, the biggest I've seen in our house so far) to scurry out of it and up my arm. I'm usually one of those 'pick it up in toilet roll and throw it outside' type of guys, but that spider could go fuck itself. Smashed it and let the room sharpish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted September 18, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted September 18, 2015 I bought some spider spray and have pretty much drowned large sections of my house in it. Even so, this big burly bastard was in the bathroom when I went for a morning piss the other day, standing right in front of the bog, taunting me and saying 'go on mate, I dare you to go for a slash'. Needless to say, I kept my bladder clenched. Â The following day when brushing my teeth in the same bathroom I found the fucker in the bin (one of the few places I hadn't used the spray for what it is worth). Placed about 4 lever arch files over the top of the bin to trap it, I wasn't taking any chances, I reckon this thing could have bench pressed me. I then had to wade down the stairs to the outside carrying the bin with level arch files on like an atomic bomb before finally hurling the entire contents of the spider-bin into the big grey one outside like I was throwing it off the edge of the Hoover Dam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted September 18, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted September 18, 2015 Saw the biggest one I've ever seen yesterday on the outside stairwell to my flat. Seen the webs in the corner of the steps for weeks but it finally showed itself yesterday. Size of a fucking crab, and I can't keep taking the lift to the 1st floor as it's pathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted September 18, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted September 18, 2015 We keep our flat very clean, but even with daily dusting, I keep seeing the beginnings of big webs. Somewhere in the place, there's a fat fucking spider who has a grudge because we keep knocking down his house, and he's going to go for my eyes when I'm in the shower some morning. If I'm not on here for a few days, assume he got me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 I went to jab a big fuck off one with a broom handle the other day but only clipped it. It quickly dropped from his vantage point ready to regroup and attack when I was unaware but he got stuck in his own web where I methodically squashed the fuck out of him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Not seen one this season, yet. Which makes it worse as the day of reckoning looms. There's fucking bunkers in the skirting boards, proper lairs for spiders to nest. It's gonna have to be a Polyfilla job and hope they don't have an escape route. There are shit loads of daddy-long-legs about round here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briefcase Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 I must have seen four or five spiders since the start of the spider season. if it wasn't for the girlfriend I have no idea if I could have survived until now but nothing too close yet just on curtains, sinks and walls (and near my toilet).  Feel creeped out just thinking about them and my heart sinks each time I think I see one, you know the little picture clips on the walls you've forgotten were there or a bit of cat fluff on the carpet or cut on your hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members IANdrewDiceClay Posted September 20, 2015 Author Paid Members Share Posted September 20, 2015 I just threw one out of the window that was so big I could actually see it walking away from 2 floors up. Usually they just disappear into thin air. It was like throwing a full grown man out of the bathroom window. This isnt good this. I'm sure he was trying my jeans on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted September 20, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted September 20, 2015 I think I found our spider last night, and now I feel really guilty. Was making the christmas cake, and when I went to lift it into the tin, this poor excuse for a spider scuttled out from under the cooling rack, and fell in the sink. I think he was cold, he was a really sad example of a spider, couldn't even climb out of the sink. My wife put him in a cup and let him out of the window, I feel so bad, feels like we just threw a spider tramp out into the streets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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