Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 23, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 23, 2016 My cupboards are swelled with spider spray and I'm ready to lock and fucking load like Rambo any minute now. Â One of these foul bastards is camped on the ceiling at the moment, in sight but out of reach. People moan about American gun laws, but I'd happily shotgun my roof lighting to get rid of this furry cockend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briefcase Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Saw a big one the other day that wouldn't even fit into a pint glass, I'm still shaking with fear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted August 23, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 23, 2016 Saw a big one the other day that wouldn't even fit into a pint glass, I'm still shaking with fear. But then he put it away and you saw a spider? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted August 23, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 23, 2016 (edited) I live in an old house with lots of shitty broken original floor boards. Guess how much I love September. Â Â Continuing to live here is like a form of self harm. Â The harmless spindly cunts have been full force for the last month, but they are starting to retreat, that usually the big bully fuckers are enroute... sigh. Edited August 23, 2016 by Kaz Hayashi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) Does anyone know what the prognosis on how many of these cunts we're getting this year is? Â I remember last year the Mail and other shiterags seemed to constantly be running "SPIDERGEDDON, WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE KILLED BY ARACHNIDS!!!" and bollocks like that for the best part of the year due to the wetness of the summer. My hope this year is that the Indian Summer will set fire to all of them before they can penetrate the spider spray moat that is currently enveloping my house. Edited August 24, 2016 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) I think we're in for some heavy rain again soon. It's too humid not to. Once it starts pissing it down the fuckers will be kicking our doors in and walking in like 8 legged Goldbergs. Â Edit: Not sure Gus. As you say, the Daily Mail hasn't sounded the alarms just yet. Give it a week or so though, it's bound tl happen. Edited August 24, 2016 by Undefeated Steak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) You're right Steak about the inevitability of rain. I'm going to be doing the Simon Pegg from Hot Fuzz parade tonight with the spider spray. Aviators and all. I am bringing the spider genocide to North Wiltshire this evening. Â 'Best of the Daily Mail' almost ought to be a thread in its own right. I remember following SPIDER APOCOLYPSE, we were apparently all going to turn into fucking Yeti or something because of "ICE BALL NIGHTMARE, COLDEST WINTER IN RECORDED HISTORY!" . I swear it was the warmest winter in about 10 years. It's like they judge the weather entirely on the result of a Magic 8 Ball and tea leaves from Michael Fish's morning Typhoo. Edited August 24, 2016 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gaffer Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I didn't think getting a cat would eliminate or ward off all traces of arachnids - at least visible ones who poke their heads out - but in the last two years I have not seen a single spider crawl my walls in the fall. He's a lazy, nonplussed geezer as well, even moreso than most. I'd have expected a few spiders comfortably chilling out 6 feet up the walls but nowt. It's a gift! He must throttle them coming in the corners during the days when I'm at work or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 Cats are a spiders worst enemy. I literally havent seen a spider in doors since the day I got my cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 Thirded. No spiders in our new place at all since we moved in (although it is a third floor new build) and a serious reduction in the old place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 My cat is 19 and runs away from spiders by hiding behind my legs. I think my cat must be broken or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gaffer Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 You need to set it an example like they often like to do. Leave some dead spiders around where it gets it's kip.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 24, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted August 24, 2016 That's mostly my bed so I foresee problems with this plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan Manforce Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 There's been a big spider in my living room for a month or so, he lives behind the mantlepiece. I wouldn't usually be OK with that but he keeps himself to himself and takes care of a lot of the flies and such that come in the windows. Â It's fucking wasps that are my main problem right now. Four nights in a row last week I had to chase one out of my room before I went to bed. Nothing for a few days, I think the worst has passed. Got woken up at 5:30 this morning by a buzzing sound and saw 3 of the stripey fuckers hovering above me. Had to gas the cunts with Lynx Africa to slow them down enough to catch and chuck them. Couldn't get back to sleep for an hour after that. Fucking wasps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Hardly seen that wasps this year, don't think I've had any in the fiat. Had a few smack off my glasses when cyclimg, but less than normal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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