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Just seen a big spider


IANdrewDiceClay

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  • 11 months later...

Tis the season. Was scrolling in the nude on the bed and felt a little soft tickle under my backside. A small brown fella was just about climbing inside my arsehole. Didn't even look. Just grabbed him out immediately and squeezed as hard as I could, pretending it was a pinch of rolling tobacco. 

I've not had a puff in five years but I could seriously do with one now. 

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You want a horrible update? I grabbed the nearest thing to me which was a standard pint glass, down on the entrails to finish the job. Spider was flat as - well - a Rizla, so I flicked it off the bed to resurrect this thread. 

Problem is I don't think the thread is the only thing which has resurrected because I've been down on the floor with the torch light from my phone and he's nowhere to be seen. 

I showed my hand. It should have been the toilet bowl or fire. Now it's going to be Rambo for the rest of the night. 

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