Joe Blog Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 Might as well admit defeat and set the shed and house on fire then.
Paid Members FLips Posted April 21, 2020 Paid Members Posted April 21, 2020 We moved from a 5th floor flat into a proper 2 bed house and the amount of fucking spiders we've had in two months makes me want to set the house ablaze. I just went to walk barefoot from the bedroom to the spare room there and noticed a dark outline on the landing about two paces ahead. Got my phone torch out and surprise surprise a big chunky fucker. I crushed it with a candle jar, only to look across the floor at the airing cupboard and there's a smaller one peeking out under the door so I smack it back in with a shoe. Hate it. Stuck indoors with a limitless amount of the bastards.
Paid Members Jazzy G Posted April 22, 2020 Paid Members Posted April 22, 2020 We had a big one in the kitchen a few weeks ago. I'm guessing it was a lady spider as they're usually bigger? If it was a male then the female would have been huge. She was very co-operative when I escorted her from the premises and relocated her to a garden across the road.
Paid Members gmoney Posted April 22, 2020 Paid Members Posted April 22, 2020 12 hours ago, FelatioLips said: We moved from a 5th floor flat into a proper 2 bed house and the amount of fucking spiders we've had in two months makes me want to set the house ablaze. I just went to walk barefoot from the bedroom to the spare room there and noticed a dark outline on the landing about two paces ahead. Got my phone torch out and surprise surprise a big chunky fucker. I crushed it with a candle jar, only to look across the floor at the airing cupboard and there's a smaller one peeking out under the door so I smack it back in with a shoe. Hate it. Stuck indoors with a limitless amount of the bastards. It's funny how some places just tend to be spider houses. My parents live in a small, clean house that was built in the mid-90s and it's got spiders in every corner you could imagine. When I lived there one once pulled itself up from underneath the keys of the keyboard I was typing on. Still think about that one when I sit down at a mechanical keyboard. The student house I lived in however, was a gigantic 8 bedroom creaky old ancient shithole and I don't think I saw a spider once in 3 years.
Members SuperBacon Posted May 10, 2020 Members Posted May 10, 2020 Not a spider but one of these cunts just flew into my bedroom. What the fuck is it? (Excuse the terrible photos)
Paid Members waters44 Posted May 10, 2020 Paid Members Posted May 10, 2020 You’re not going to believe this @SuperBacon but I believe that’s called a cockchafer! AKA a May bug
Members SuperBacon Posted May 10, 2020 Members Posted May 10, 2020 Cheers. Apparently loads of people around here had them last night in their gaffs. I'm gluing the windows shut or moving to a cold country. The fucking horrible bastards.
Mr_Danger Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 My uncle chucked one in the tent with us when we were camping once, the horrible bastard. Hear them smashing in to the windows all the time round here.
Paid Members gmoney Posted May 10, 2020 Paid Members Posted May 10, 2020 8 minutes ago, SuperBacon said: Cheers. Apparently loads of people around here had them last night in their gaffs. I'm gluing the windows shut or moving to a cold country. The fucking horrible bastards. There's a pub near Epsom racecourse that gets infested with them every May. This will the first time it won't affect business.
Members SuperBacon Posted May 10, 2020 Members Posted May 10, 2020 1 minute ago, gmoney said: There's a pub near Epsom racecourse that gets infested with them every May. This will the first time it won't affect business. Pretty close to me. I sort of like the idea of them all marauding around late at night to hunt for Windows to bump into. They're actually quite cute in macro with their weird antennas but it's a big no from me Clive. They can do one.
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted September 2, 2020 Paid Members Posted September 2, 2020 A massive sod just ran under my bed and, of course, having pulled out my bed to see if I can catch it, it's not there. Might sleep on the couch. EDIT - Just sprayed half a can of Raid under my bed because I figure the asthma attack from inhaling that all night will be worth it.
Paid Members IANdrewDiceClay Posted September 2, 2020 Author Paid Members Posted September 2, 2020 17 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said: A massive sod just ran under my bed and, of course, having pulled out my bed First mistake right there. You dont move the bed. If one crawls under it, you burn the house down and leave the country for about 6 months.
Paid Members gmoney Posted September 2, 2020 Paid Members Posted September 2, 2020 You'll have that last laugh when you've eaten it, albeit unwittingly.
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