Just seen a big spider

[deathrey]

It doesn't smell great, it had faded a bit now. We'll see if it works. I'm not convinced. I may try dousing the flat with peppermint oil. Yorkshire spiders were never this bloody big.

[IANdrewDiceClay]

I saw one so big the other day, he had his own entrance music when he walked into the room. He came out to Cult of Personality and left to Mankind's old piano music. It wasnt even like he wanted anything. He seemed to walk in, nod his head and go "lads" and walk out. There was actually an article in the local paper last week, describing them as "rats with 8 legs" which has shit everyone up in the city.

[Guest]

Any arachnaphobes/general creepy crawly haters here been put in a position where you're expected to be the fearless one? Perhaps a child has come running to you to deal with the spider in their room and you've had to fake the whole "It's more scared of you than you are of it" routine?

 

I had to roll up my sleeves and confront a very large and surprisingly LOUD cockroach in my housemate's room at uni when she mistook me for the man of the house. It was stomping round a pizza box from a place up the road that I was quite keen to advise she never visit again.

[Gus Mears]

First one today. An absolute monster too. Fairly convinced he was on the gas because he was ripped like the Warlord in '92. Plus he got roid rage and started thrashing like a pre-coital Ultimate Warrior after I trapped him in a cake bowl. Pretty sure when I next go downstairs I'll find that he's gorilla pressed it off and has taken up residence in the spare bedroom.

[carolann]

There was a big fuck off hunstman in the bathroom this morning - i would have taken a picture but being in the shower and screaming kind of distracted me.  Nasty fuckers always look like they are perving on you, and they have their wavy furry front legs.  Utter spider bastards.

 

But then spiders down here are fucking evil, even Peppa Pig isnt allowed to have them.

[cobra_gordo]

A mate of mine moved to Austrailia a few years back and has posted a couple of pictures of massive huntsmans in his new house. He made a comment a while back that he's never seen a car full of burly lads empty as quick as when a massive huntsman came out of one of the air vents.

[Guest]

I really don't understand why people choose to live in that country. It's an island - tailor-made for getting the fuck off of and letting the bastards have it.

[Scott Malbranque]

In fairness Australia is a place where everything exists to kill you.

Myself and herself were on a place called Dunk Island - which was essentially a microwave with trees - and I came out of the shower to find my missus frozen to the wall, weeping while trying not to make noise or move.
There was a spider the size of a silverbacks fist on the opposite wall. Just sitting there. I had to use take the grill off the portable fan (like the ones you’d have in an office), place it over it and slide it down the wall.

Then angle it and bend the grill a bit at the end of the wall so the fucker couldn’t shuttle off or leap at me, and then slide it along the floor, in a combination of panic sweat and 50 degree heat sweat, all the while asking my missus to open the fucking door of the chalet/shack while she’s trembling saying “No, I can’t...I can’t” yet I’m the prick on the floor face to face with a Pans Labyrinth character.

Turns out, whatever spider it was, wasn’t lethal and is just a common spider on Dunk Island.

Silverbacks fist. No joke. Common.

[The Gaffer]

'a microwave with trees'

 

That's tremendous.

[Gus Mears]

A friend of mine did Camp America and in Colorado, the bathroom block was entirely closed down due to 'Black Widow infestation'. Later on the same trip in Texas, she was woken up after a spider the size and shape of Rocky Dennis' face was having a kip on top of her sleeping bag. Eye balling her and spoiling for a barney.

 

I wouldn't pay to go to Aus, some absolute horror stories as Scotty mentioned. I've heard of people having absolutely whoppers in the toilet (spiders too). No amount of money could justify the 5% chance that I go for a drunken shit and end up with a Huntsman tickling my prostate.

[cobra_gordo]

a microwave with trees

 

a spider the size and shape of Rocky Dennis' face

 

Absolutely creased at work. Arrows boys.

[carolann]

Huntsmen arent dangerous - just big fuckity jumpers.  Not too many snakes down south which is good, but when theres a big storm puffer fish get washed up on the beach near where we live.

 

On the plus side we see loads of wild kangaroos and out local birds are mainly parakeet types so look really cool. Down side - they're noisy bastards. 

 

Theres no excusing possums though. Noisy scream shagging bastards.

[Guest]

Huntsmen arent dangerous

You very well might say that, carolann, but the clue is in its name - it doesn't hunt women, does it?

[Murtz]

Very surprised we haven't had the clock spider pic yet...

[Guest]

When's the last time any of you looked behind the top corners of your curtains?

 

You know, that bit of the wall that's always covered, whether the curtains are open or closed.

 

Would you notice anything living behind there? Just chilling out, quietly waiting, while you're over on the couch watching the Bake-Off?

 

 

 

Well? Would you? Are you sure?