Paid Members FLips Posted April 30, 2014 Paid Members Posted April 30, 2014 I broke. Just finished my glass of Prune Juice
Stylin_and_Profilin Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 Was on a mixture of tramadol and the 30/500mg co-cocodamols after rupturing my achilles tendon last year. The consultant told me to get my GP to prescribe lactulose along with the painkillers as the codeine is notorious for causing constipation. I should have listened but i didn't; i've never really had a problem with my #2's in my life but trying to go after being on those for a few days was an absolute mission.
Loki Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 I few years ago I went to Rome for a long weekend and ate copious amounts of pasta and white bread. Over the 3 days there I didn't poo once. When I got back to the UK I was trying to go, but couldn't. Another 3 days passed and I could feel the buildup. Finally I started to get a major movement, about 5 minutes before a really important meeting at work. I thought "this has to end now" and so I had to just get in there and start ripping chunks of shit out of my arse for 5 minutes before a thorough handwash and a firm handshake to a senior Microsoft exec. I felt so low
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted April 30, 2014 Paid Members Posted April 30, 2014 I probably need to sort my bowel health out as I'll often go two days without taking a shit and then suddenly realise that I haven't so I force one out as best I can. Codeine is definitely a bitch for that, I take too much of that shit.
Paid Members FLips Posted April 30, 2014 Paid Members Posted April 30, 2014 Uh oh. The rumbles have started. Pray for me
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted April 30, 2014 Moderators Posted April 30, 2014 I few years ago I went to Rome for a long weekend and ate copious amounts of pasta and white bread. Over the 3 days there I didn't poo once. When I got back to the UK I was trying to go, but couldn't. Another 3 days passed and I could feel the buildup. Finally I started to get a major movement, about 5 minutes before a really important meeting at work. I thought "this has to end now" and so I had to just get in there and start ripping chunks of shit out of my arse for 5 minutes before a thorough handwash and a firm handshake to a senior Microsoft exec. I felt so low That's hideous. I'd rather tank the meeting that pick bits of shit out my own arsehole. It's only work.
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted April 30, 2014 Paid Members Posted April 30, 2014 I've had some sturdy turds in my time, but never to the point of having to use my hands to assist its exit. I feel kind of blessed now.
Paid Members FLips Posted April 30, 2014 Paid Members Posted April 30, 2014 (edited) Took about an hour of constant stomach gargling before the farts turned into a poo. Soft but not unusual. Nothing happened for so long, I filled a pint glass half and half with the Apple and Prune juices. Two hours later and I'm stuck in the midst of explosive runs. There's not a lot of it, but it blows right out of there, covers even the rim under the seat. Like a shotgun blast. Had two near-falls with my farts so far so now I have to go fart on the toilet. It's pitch black and full of small lumps. Curiosity is a horrible thing. Edited April 30, 2014 by FelatioLips
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted April 30, 2014 Moderators Posted April 30, 2014 So we're all just going to pretend that Loki pulling lumps of shit out of his arsehole with his fingers like he's picking his nose is a perfectly normal thing? I'm tempted to suggest Steve Justice abdicate his seat-less throne for a new King of TheToilet Weirdos around here.
Moderators neil Posted April 30, 2014 Moderators Posted April 30, 2014 So we're all just going to pretend that Loki pulling lumps of shit out of his arsehole with his fingers like he's picking his nose is a perfectly normal thing? I'm tempted to suggest Steve Justice abdicate his seat-less throne for a new King of TheToilet Weirdos around here. Yeah and how does that even work. Is Loki going all goatse and stretching that hole out far enough to really reach up there?
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted April 30, 2014 Paid Members Posted April 30, 2014 Picking shit out of your arse brings new meaning to that #WeAreAllMonkeys hashtag.
Moderators neil Posted April 30, 2014 Moderators Posted April 30, 2014 I still can't imagine a situation where you'd go "yeah better shove my finger up there and get that poo out". I need answers to this.
Ladiesman345 Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 I still can't imagine a situation where you'd go "yeah better shove my finger up there and get that poo out". I need answers to this. Not only that, but how does it even work? Do you hook and scoop with one finger? Are you prodding to break the seal? You hook them out with your finger. Sort of breaking up chunks as well. It's a great feeling when you pull a big chunk out. RELIEF.
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted April 30, 2014 Paid Members Posted April 30, 2014 (edited) How big is your arsehole? You make it sound like you're trying to poke the last 20p out of the piggy bank. Edited April 30, 2014 by Devon Malcolm
Ladiesman345 Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 (edited) How big is your arsehole? You make it sound like you're trying to poke the last 20p out of the piggy bank. The anal sphincter is a really stretchy piece of kit. Lube up your butthole with some spit and you're ready to go. That's disgusting isn't it? Edited April 30, 2014 by Ladiesman345
.thumb.jpeg.55e5547a252a5ad1a05f197973025167.jpeg)
Recommended Posts