Ladiesman345 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) No wonder you're so nonchalant about it then. I have to assume the first time you went the doctor route though, and didn't just take it upon yourself to fish around in there to get things moving on a whim? Â Nah, I just done a bit of googling. My doctor is an attractive blonde in her mid to late twenties. I wasn't, and will not discuss my bowels with her. Just the thought makes me cringe! Â EDIT - In reply to Woy, I can assure you I'm not trolling. Take some codeine and citalopram for a few days and you'll know what I'm talking about! Edited May 1, 2014 by Ladiesman345 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoKonjic Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Some handy advice to anyone with this problem from Yahoo. The guys source was experience. Grim reading  If you are to the point where you sit on the toilet and are straining hard and can feel the stool trying to come out then you are past the point of stool softeners and other things helping. What it is is that you have constipation and it has become impacted to where it is too big to pass the sphincter muscle. The advise I am about to give you isn't a joke. It's real and the same thing a doctor will do if you go to the emergency room. First thing you should try is an saline enema. Go to Walgreeens or some other pharmacy and get an enema. They cost a couple of dollars. Follow the direction on the box. While you are there also pick up a jar of vasoline. I know it's embarrasing but it beats having to go to the emergency room. If the impaction isn't too bad the enema will work for you and you will pass the stool. If not you will have to go to step 2. You will have to use your finger and the vasoline to reach into your rectum and break up the stool and pull some out. This is exactly what a doctor does. If you can't pass the stool within 3 days you MUST go to the doctore immediately. You can rupture your intestines and actually die. I recommend using rubber surgical gloves which you can also buy along with the saline enema and Vasoline. If you want buy them at different locations so you don't buy it all at once and cause more embarrasment. Trim your fingernail also. Use lots of Vasoline. You can't use too much, the more the better. Lube up your finger real good and also lube up your rectum. Sit on the toilet and strain like your are going to have a bowel movement. Then insert your finger slowly and you will clearly feel the stool. Use your finger like a hook and try to break small pieces of it off and pull it out. It may just be one impacted piece go the side that is keep the stool from coming out. Work on it a little at a time and take breaks. Don't panic and take your time. It's very scary when you can't pass a stool. And stool softeners won't help at this point but they will help the current food being digested. If you keep pulling pieces of the stool of with your finger it will eventually come out. You can kind of feel if there are large pieces sticking out to the side stopping it from coming out. Or the whole thing may just be too big. Small pieces become packed together at the rectum when you have constipation. And the stoll can become very big. The rectum and sphincter can stretch and easily accomodate your finger working on the stool. Just have lots and lots of Vasoline and keep adding it on. I know it seems gross but it is a normal procedure for any doctor or regular health worker. And having a bad impaction can be very scary! So give it a try. Remember, try the saline enema first and follow the directions. Then go to the next step of using your finger and Vasoline to slowly work small parts of the stool out. You are basically breaking small pieces of it off until you can pass the rest. Keep trying. You may even notice small amounts of red blood because of microscopic tears in the tissue. Very small amounts of red blood look a lot bigger in the water. So don't panic if you see a little on the pieces of stool you bring out. It's normal. If you can not pass this stool within 3 days you MUST go to the doctor immediately. DO NOT WAIT ANY LONGER BECUASE YOU CAN DIE. GO ON THE 3RD DAY TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM IF YOU CAN'T GET INTO A REGULAR PHYSICIAN. They will give you an enema at the hospital and then a doctor will use his finger to pull your stool out. Also, if you are having any abdominal pain other than normal constipation pains go to the doctor immediately!! Good luck and stay calm. Don't be grossed out or embarrased. It's part of being a human being. There are time when a wife will have to do this for her husband or vice versa. You will feel so much better after you get this stool out. Once done make sure to eat more fiber and maybe take a stool softener on a regular basis. Or drink a few glasses or prune juice daily. If you have regular constipation problems see a doctor about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladiesman345 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I rest my case! I would imagine Loki will rest his as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Bellenda Carlisle Posted May 1, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 1, 2014 Although I'm still not keen on what it says in that piece of advice MoKonjic posted it's still a far cry from tearing it out of your arse unlubed with your bare hands in a work toilet cubicle 5 minutes before a meeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The British Bushwacker Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Surely it's not just me who has the increasing urge to go for a shite whilst reading this thread (not to pull it out with my hands though) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted May 1, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 1, 2014 This thread has gone to a dark, dark place. Â I was very blocked up for the last couple of days, so I finished up the prune and apple juice, and started on a course of two Fibre One gummies every day. Along with the shreddies and raisins I've been breakfasting on, it finally led to a demented shit avalanche over the last 24 hours. Hasn't stopped raining here for over a day, and I've had a constant chocolate downpour to go along with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SiMania Posted May 1, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 1, 2014 I stated taking probiotics about 6 months ago and it transformed my shits. I now have perfect clean sliders twice a day and can even tank the ale 2 nights in a row without a single runny one. Best move of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted May 1, 2014 Moderators Share Posted May 1, 2014 So what did Loki use for lube? Bit of spit? I hope you didn't double dip your shit sherbet dab mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dai Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) If you can't pass the stool within 3 days you MUST go to the doctore immediately. Â Â Â Â Â Anyway, doing it with surgical gloves and lube, in the comfort of your own home, sounds 100x more sophisticated/acceptable compared to toilet paper in a public toilet. Toilet paper was brought up, yet makes things even more uncomfortable for my tastes. You lube your arsehole up with spit, yet use toilet paper to enter? Public bathroom toilet paper, no less. Surely it wouldnt survive the entry, making things even worse down there? Â Â This reminded of an Embarassing Bodies I watched, where a woman had to push shit out via fingers in her vagina. That was years ago and I still remember it, much like this situation I assume. Â http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.c...stol/rectocele/ Edited May 1, 2014 by Dai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted May 3, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 3, 2014 And stool softeners won't help at this point So, because this thread has caused me to start thinking far too deeply whenever I'm sat on the toilet now, is there nothing you can douche up yourself to soften or break up an impacted poo? Some sort of anal Otex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kookoocachu Posted May 4, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 4, 2014 It's practically a daily occurrence in hospitals but especially nursing homes. You get the crazies who self extract for fun, then you get the mugs like moi who have to extract from others who have a medical need for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 There must be scope for an invention here. Something about the size of a Lipsyl? Like a Bullet but not a Bullet. Maybe have some sort of retractable hook on it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d-d-d-dAz Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 (edited) Like a sort of upside down wishing well, maybe. Â Though I wouldn't like to be the guy who mans the winch. Edited May 4, 2014 by d-d-d-dAz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patiirc Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Having found out about the 'wonders' of Movicol during a poo related case at work, would that not be similar to Ortex for the bum? Unblocks pretty much everything, by the sounds of it. Never heard of it before the case, but seems like it would resolve the fingers in the anus job for the people on here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted May 5, 2014 Moderators Share Posted May 5, 2014 There must be scope for an invention here. Something about the size of a Lipsyl? Like a Bullet but not a Bullet. Maybe have some sort of retractable hook on it? Get a kickstarter going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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