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Posted
Every Loki post will now be accompanied by mental images of a keyboard being tapped with brown, smelly fingers :(

Reminder: he did this before an important meeting where presumably handshakes were involved. Little did those people know their hands were being gripped by fingers fresh from Loki's anus.

Posted

Cound't you try and poke and dislodge with some tissue? A few times wrapped around the index and middle finger would give you a decent tool to use.

  • Paid Members
Posted
Every Loki post will now be accompanied by mental images of a keyboard being tapped with brown, smelly fingers :(

 

It was the way he described it as "ripping chunks of shit out of my arse" that scarred me for life, it sounds so aggressive.

  • Moderators
Posted
Cound't you try and poke and dislodge with some tissue? A few times wrapped around the index and middle finger would give you a decent tool to use.

 

Everyone stop acting like it's normal to physically pull the turds out of yourself!

 

Literally the only example I've heard of this until now is the hilarious story of Bobby Brown unblocking Whitney's crack-constipated anus with his fingers (including the quote ''That turd was too big!'' which aired on their reality show), and then suddenly it's an actual thing on here?!

  • Moderators
Posted

Yeah - the assumption it takes to decide to do that on no medical advice it just animal.

 

Like, presumably this was in a shitty work toilet cubicle as well; not even from the comfort and privacy of a home toilet. Where just about anyone could have been hearing the noises he was making in there, and have walked in when he emerged covered in shit before washing his hands...

 

No amount of hand washing with regular soap and water could possible suffice either.

Posted (edited)

Nice disabled toilet with a basin and all that, I'm not a savage :p

 

But yeah, not the perfect place for it and I did indeed use tissue. "Ripping chunks of shit" was perhaps a tad poetic.

 

It was still a very, very unpleasant experience. And no, Astro, I won't send you a picture of me doing it, so stop PMing me.

 

EDIT: Bobby Brown and I have led very similar lives, I'm reckoning.

Edited by Loki
  • Paid Members
Posted

My nan had a Yorkshire terrier that I witnessed pull a big dollop of cack out of his arsehole with his mouth once. There's a skill. He was old and had lost all his teeth by then as well so he managed to pull it out with his gums alone somehow.

 

I don't think his behaviour was a result of painkillers blocking him up though.

Posted
Cound't you try and poke and dislodge with some tissue? A few times wrapped around the index and middle finger would give you a decent tool to use.

 

Everyone stop acting like it's normal to physically pull the turds out of yourself!

 

Literally the only example I've heard of this until now is the hilarious story of Bobby Brown unblocking Whitney's crack-constipated anus with his fingers (including the quote ''That turd was too big!'' which aired on their reality show), and then suddenly it's an actual thing on here?!

 

Of course it's normal! If you go to the hospital with severe compaction the doctors will do the same thing. Which is more embarrassing? Hooking it out yourself, or struggling to the A and E Department at three in the morning. " I'm dreadfully sorry, but I've been having some trouble pooing out of my hole." " Any chance you could get someone (preferably a really attractive nurse) to pull said jobbies out of me?"

Posted

I think you've hit the nail on the hear there, Ladiesman. Woy's looking at this as an opportunity to get someone else to touch his ringpiece.

Posted
Just how many times have you had to do this? (or just done it for fun)

 

You sound like an expert.

 

About twenty times, I would say. I don't do it for fun though, although I wouldn't mind doing it to someone like Nina Nesbitt . Any hetero man would, surely?

  • Paid Members
Posted (edited)

I'm in my early 30s and I've never had to fist myself to manually pull shit out, I'm certain it's not normal. I'm also pretty perverted but hooking shit out of a girl's arse with my fingers doesn't actually appeal to me much either Ladiesman.

Edited by Call me Bellend
  • Moderators
Posted

No wonder you're so nonchalant about it then. I have to assume the first time you went the doctor route though, and didn't just take it upon yourself to fish around in there to get things moving on a whim?

  • Moderators
Posted

I'm assuming that Ladiesman is trolling. Also, this epidemic of A&E being filled with people on all fours who should've done the decent thing and unplugged themselves at home with a broomhandle must have passed me by entirely. No amount of saying that I'm fixated on men's anuses will stop this being a super weird thing that made everyone normal take a massive step back the second it was posted.

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