Paid Members tiger_rick Posted May 14, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 14, 2014 Another one for HG. Excellent read on The Streak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Four Horsemen Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 + 1 for the streak post!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted May 14, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 14, 2014 +1, amazing post HG! Guaranteed to be in the POTY shortlist that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nick James Posted May 15, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 15, 2014 +1 Brilliant post from HG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted June 3, 2014 Moderators Share Posted June 3, 2014 Lions. And I don't just mean the fear of coming face to face with a Lion (as in, in the wild), because I think most people would just shit themselves if that were to happen. I actually cannot even look at a picture of a Lion, it scares the living shit out of me. As much as I like watching wildlife programs I tend to avoid them now because these fucks always crop up. Oh, and it is male Lions too by the way. The mane, the eyes, the teeth fucking terrify me. And it's not just looking at them either. There roar makes me shake in terror, and has caused me to black out on two occasions. The first time was at London Zoo when I took my lad years ago. I braved going to the zoo just for him, but I did say I would keep my distance from the Lion cage. Not knowing the layout very well I rounded a corner and found myself face to face with the fucking thing and I just froze. The bastard just starred at me and it knew, it fucking knew I was terrified. It let out a massive roar and I blacked out. Next thing I know I'm sat at the bottom of the path up against a fence with some American bloke trying to give me sips of water. I then panicked because my lad wasn't with me and saw him at the top of the path looking at the Lions. He then comes running down to me and I'm thinking 'oh, he's realised what's happened and he's coming to see if I'm OK', but when he gets to me he said "where's the camera I want to take pictures of the Lion?" takes the camera and then buggers back up the path to take pictures. The second time was quite funny in retrospect. I'm at Drayton Manor Park with my family and we go into the zoo. A friend of mine works at the zoo and she assured me that there were no longer any Lions kept there. Still, I was a bit apprehensive but went in. In the distance I can see a cage and what is quite clearly a big cat. I start to shake and my body starts to seize up. Out of nowhere I hear this almighty roar behind me and I start to run towards the exit, only I'm blacking out at the same time and I apparently crumpled to the floor mid run. I wake up with big grazes down my arms and hands and a cut on my forehead. Turns out the big cat I could see in the distance was a Tiger (which I am not afraid of) and the roar I heard was from the walk through Dinosaurland behind me. For the record, I'm not afraid of female Lions, cubs, Tigers or The Lion King. I fucking love Steve Justice stories. They are always hilarious and he tells them very well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted June 3, 2014 Awards Moderator Share Posted June 3, 2014 Wow. Seconded! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Maverick Posted June 3, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted June 3, 2014 thirded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted August 5, 2014 Awards Moderator Share Posted August 5, 2014 Got to nominate Matrix's Expendables 3 premiere post in Off Topic Comments: So yeah, been wanting to post this all day, but seemed a shame to do so without the photos to back it up. Just managed to get them uploaded, so here we are. As you probably guessed, yesterday I went along to the Expendables 3 premier – first time going along to something like that and had no idea what to expect other than a long wait and the feeling of a strangers flesh pressing against me for 7 hours. As it goes, the time flew by, a thoroughly enjoyable experience – I couldn’t just go along to any one, but being amongst likeminded fans for the most part, you soon get chatting to people as it becomes clear that 11am till 5pm will drag severely if you don’t. It wasn’t without it’s share of nobheads mind, people dressing up as Rambo etc in the vain hope we’d all be impressed and the inevitable autograph hunters, who, whilst pleasant enough, can’t go 30 seconds without telling you about the time they met Roger Daltrey, or someone else I couldn’t give a toss about – my favourite was the guy who told me about his friend in the media who gave him all the details of who was coming and where they’d be weeks in advance of anyone else so he always got to meet people – after a bit of cross examination, he let his guard slip, turned out he was paying £150 a month to subscribe to some mailing list. The wait was made that little bit longer when they eventually announced the names of the people who’d be attending. Under normal circumstances, I’m sure you’d be happy to see anyone, but when the USP of a movie is how many people they’ve packed into it, when only a handful turn up, that’s a bit of a let down. No Arnie, no Ronda, no Crews. :-/ - it also had the worlds worst warm up guy, who I thought might be Mr G from the Russell Brand radio shows, but it can’t have been as he was funny as I recall. This guy just repeated “Who’s gonna rap for some sunglasses” and “Make some noise” over and over again. I’d been told Alex Zane usually hosted these things, but on this occasion it was Laura Whitmore, who I’ve only seen fleetingly on TV, but is stunning in the flesh although her involvement was pretty hit and mess and largely for the Yahoo stream. Anyway, after standing in the same spot for 7 hours and feeling the bones in my foot start to evolve in an attempt to adjust to their new surroundings, it all became worth it when the first car arrived and, despite having seem him from a mile away at the recent Q & A, Sylvester Stallone walks right up to me, literally a foot away. I had to make the decision pretty quickly, photos or autographs, I opted for the former and unfortunately, such was the frenzy, I never got the chance to snap Sly in close quarters although I did pick him up a little later from distance. I completely forgot he was married to Jennifer Flavin, who is STUNNING! I have no idea how old she is these days but jesus, absolutely smoking. I had a big thing for her and Kelly Preston back in the day, so if Travolta has any films coming out soon, let me know so I can compare. It’s worth pointing out he has 2 gorgeous daughters too, and without wanting to sound too-yewtree, a younger one who looks well on the way to being – lucky for them they got their mothers looks. Next out, and thank god they did him early as I’d have felt for the poor bloke if he’d had to follow the big guns, was Kellen Lutz. No idea who he is, doubt I’ll ever see him in anything else again, but even I’m not unreasonable enough to deny the man is a handsome bugger. Tall, chiselled, and a jawline you could build a house on. Impressive enough specimen, but not one I was overly arsed about – what was pretty alarming though, and representative of the people in the pen I was in, was that he seemed to get a bigger pop than this man… WESLEY FUCKING SNIPES. That’s teenage girls for you. Now in news that I hope will surprise absolutely no one, Wesley Snipes is the coolest man on the planet. Like I imagine Carl Weathers would have been if you’d met him during the Apollo Creed years. He signed for what felt like hours, took pictures, shook hands, repeatedly said “Yeoman” in a Jamaican accent, there was even a brief snippet of Simon Phoenix – suffice to say, like a truly gifted wrestler would, Snipes won over the crowd and was the only guy all day to get a chant of his name going, which is saying something when Sly was there. Antonio Banderas was next out, but he didn’t bother coming our way. So he can fuck off. Last, but by no means least and easily the most handsome, suave and charismatic man I’ve ever seen in the flesh. The Stath. When all you know is the stoic Statham he plays in almost every movie, it’s easy to forget there’s a man behind the character, and what a man. He must have shook ever hand, taken every selfie and signed every single thing put in front of him – while others did the rounds out of what felt like courtesy, Statham embraced the thing wholeheartedly and really got stuck in. It was funny, at one point what were clearly his family members turned up. I know this, because he hugged a man that was clearly his brother, and looked exactly like what one of those low rent celebrity lookalikes would look like. I imagined his name to be Graham Statham or something similar. And that was that really, it’s hard to describe how exciting it is to be in the presence of people you idolise, even for just a brief few moments, but I had a fantastic time, despite the waiting around and packed crowds which on any given day would be my sure fire kryptonite. There were a few other people turned up, Vinnie Jones almost inevitably showing up along with other british hardmen such as Tamer Hassan and David Haye, and that massive rugby player who presents the UFC coverage on BT sometimes, along with a variety of anonymous faces from TOWIE, Made in Chelsea and the likes. Oh yeah, and Amelia Lily of the X Factor for some reason, who had the crowd in the palm of her hands with insights such as “I love Stallone. His movies are great” and “My new album is out soon”. I almost forgot Wossy, who turned up looking like a tramp but who brilliantly didn’t mug around pretending it was his occasion and just waved and made his way in, which I respected him for. Oh yeah, and then one of the PA’s who’d been camped out in our area handed out a few comp tickets, and yep…Matrix landed one just to cap out an almost perfect day. We got to watch the movie, introduced by the guys on stage along with the produces and chairman of Lionsgate, which was nice. I’ll save my thoughts on the movie for another time as I’ve probably bored you all enough, but yeah. All in all, a brilliant day and an experience I wont forget in a long, long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members I Bent My Wookie Posted August 5, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted August 5, 2014 Completely seconded, incredible post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jaffa Posted August 5, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted August 5, 2014 I love Matrix. Thirded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted August 5, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted August 5, 2014 +1. Great post from a great man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patiirc Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Incredible! 5thd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 6thed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted August 6, 2014 Moderators Share Posted August 6, 2014 7thed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted August 6, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted August 6, 2014 Eighted. Thoroughly enjoyed that!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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