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Post Of The Year 2014


Devon Malcolm

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Ah, Keith, you wonderful man. Getting to the heart of the 'Beatles aren't real' conspiracy in the Fortean thread. Ace final line which reminds me of Homer Simpson's "THAT WAS OUR PLANET!" moment from the space episode.

 

Loki, you imbecile! Everyone knows that the McCartney now is the third or fourth one. They had to make do with what they had but it's like photocopying a copy.

I mean, look at the evidence. Wings. What gives you wings? Red Bull. A red bull is one of the symbols used on the room service cards at Bohemia Grove. Another one is a toad. Toad look like frogs and are like a lesser lizard in illuminati circles, they are like the heralds of the lizards. A Frog Chorus if you will. We All Stand Together is the ringtone of Bilderberg members, it's how they know each other and are laughing at us as they do it.

I could go on, but I've said too much anyway. They will fuck me so hard that my shit pipe will be in pieces. Wait...Pipes Of Piece, OH MY GOD IVE BEEN ASLEEP ALL THIS TIME.

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This is the funniest post I've read on here all year:-

 

 

Alan Parker is responsible for the worst experience of my life, so he can fuck off. Me and this lady were getting on fantastically, and I joined her back at her house where SHE WANTED TO WATCH EVITA. She knew all the songs, sang along, and wanted me to. In harmony. Instead I spent the entire film going on about Jimmy Nail like a real man as I didn't know before that Jimmy Nail was in it, singing "Ain't No Doubt" whenever he came on screen. She didn't like that.

 

As the film finally ended, I was going to finally get my tops and fingers. We adjourned to her boudoir where I put it to her ten cocks to the cunt whereupon she starts crying. When I stop and ask her what's the matter she replies "Evita always makes me cry!". We'd stopped watching it by then, and I'd decided I'd stop having sex with her as having sex with a crying girl is weird. She didn't want me to stop though. And got angry. The tears became tears of anger. Fury in fact. Fury because I didn't feel comfortable having sex with a crying girl. Now I'm scared. I deduce she's a stabbing type. I need to get out of there. But the first train home isn't for 3 hours, and I'm not about to walk home 2 hours in the fucking rain.. So like the total non-coward I am, I locked myself in her conservatory to get some sleep while she shouted all manner of insults, mainly pertaining to me not being a real man for continuing to bonk her until she got bored and went to bed.She was such a loon she didn't think to unlock the conservatory, or find another way to get in, or phone the police saying "Some fucking Geoff Capes looking twat's locked himself in my house". She just screamed and bawled, then got tired of it and went to bed.

 

She was the weirdest person ever. Just fucking strange.

 
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Shane O Mac V2 puts a good case forward for Rock and Austin in the Best Feud Ever thread:

 

Rock-Austin for me. I didn't see much of the original feud in '99, but I love how both guys were on the rise at the same time, from iconic moments like throwing the IC title in the water, to the main event of Mania 15, it was good quality. Then both guys were kept apart from a singles feud while they both skyrocketed in popularity from 99-2001. By the time WMX7 rolled around, we had the amazing sitdown interview with JR, where the line, "I need to beat you, Rock" was delivered with such passion that it gave me chills. The subsequent match at the PPV was a work of art, so violent and flawlessly executed. Still feel Austin could have finished the match the same way he did, then Stunnered Vince and not turned heel, but that's another discussion.

 

Rock and Austin were polar opposites as athletes and characters. The finesse and cool factor of Rock, the rough and aggressive tendencies of Austin, it created a perfect storm. I've never seen a bad Austin/Rock performance, whether in singles or anchoring opposing teams like during the WCW/ECW Invasion. Both pushed each other to new heights.

 

The final chapter in Austin-Rock is my favourite. The Rock, after transcending wrestling and becoming this big Hollywood star, had a chip on his shoulder. He turned on the fans, or you could say the fans turned on him for leaving WWE. However, in early 2003, Austin returned after taking his ball and going home the previous year. So, Rock was pissed at the fans, and then he had long term rival Austin, who got a free pass while he was maligned. So, Rock created this arrogant Hollywood star persona, complete with new haircut, glasses and leather jacket. Underneath that, he had this big insecurity- he had never beaten Austin at a Wrestlemania.

 

The stage was set for an amazing encounter at WMXIX, which was a loaded show, but these two masters gave their best performance in Stone Cold's swan song. Brawling, finishers, not a missed spot, leather jackets, stealing moves, a clean finish for Rock, and a hug and private conversation mid-ring following the pinfall. Everything about it was perfect.

 

The contrast between them made the Attitude Era IMO. DX was an important part of it, so was the Undertaker and plenty of others, but these two stood above the rest, and without each other, I don't think either could have become as big as they did.

 

 

I also nominate Big Benny HG's British Uprising III post. It's up to his usual high standards!

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