Post Of The Year 2011 Nominations

[denzel_maggiore]

is this capitol (its capital douchebags) puinishment ppv going to be the new december to dismember ppv, and they just dont book any goddamn matches for the show? i dont give 2 shits which congress members are invited only to no show, just give me a reason to spend 15 quid. and right now they have given 0 reasons. im still on a delay as i like to skip ads so i start 45 mins in, the show is ok so far but nothing mindblowing. those technical problems were funny and have been coming back now and again. it was nice of sky to apologise, even though the issue was with wwe itself. although the us must have had sound during r-truths bit with the jimmys in the audience because play by play reports mention all that was said, but i think the uk and canada had more issues for some reason.

 

mmm evan bourne vs swagger, bourne will win this time, im sure they did this feud a year or so ago. swagger won first and third, bourne won second match.

 

Capitol is the name of the famous legislative building in Washington DC, the city in which the show takes place.

 

Capital is a big letter that goes at the beginning of a sentence.

 

Typical JN Lister reply there but made me chuckle.

[Carbomb]

EDITED

 

So because you guessed you feel let down? You'll be a sack of fun if you ever win the lottery

 

From the 'New Doctor Who' thread.

 

Oh, for..

 

I hadn't seen it yet.

[Daaaaaad!]

Well that was one fat sack of disappointment. I guessed that

<-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler

River was Amy's daughter

 

[close spoiler]

");document.close(); as soon as the name was mentioned in the tv guides last week.

[

 

So because you guessed you feel let down? You'll be a sack of fun if you ever win the lottery

 

From the 'New Doctor Who' thread.

 

Oh, for..

 

I hadn't seen it yet.

And stupidly I thought 'shall I spoilertag it? Nah it's all over the 'net and it was already on, nobody'll come in here and get spoilt'.

 

I'll tag it and hopefully that should repair some of the damage done. My apologies.

[air_raid]

Done anything kinda cool by the age of 14?

 

I've done loads of silly shit in my time, but there's one that I always still get a laugh out of and it has became somewhat of a folk story in my area and amongst my friends, associates, friends of friends etc....

 

 

My brother is a semi-pro footballer, and at the end of the '00/'01 season, the club he played for held an end of season party, which was to have live horse racing on the big screen for betting and of course, strippers, two of them. I was 14 at the time. I went with my brother, a friend my age also came, but it was mainly guys over 21 and a fair few club members, coaches, sponsors etc, I knew loads of the lads who were there, but a few were there who I didn't know. From what I remember, there was about 150-200 there.

 

Just for reference and anyone on here from Sunderland, the venue was the Lakeside social club in Farringdon/Gilley Law, so the Sunderland people on here can put a location to the story.

 

Anyway, the music starts, booze was flowing, everyone had a few bets on the horses and we eagerly awaited the first stripper. She came on, she was alrite but nothing too special, the second one who came on later was very very nice though. They done a solo act each, then at the end of the night they done one together, the usual drill for this kind of event. When they done their co-act, they attempted the classic audience participation thing....none of the lads they approached would get up, the loudest and most obnoxious pricks of the night suddenly turned into shy mutes. The strippers were about to bin the whole idea and the atmosphere seemed to go flat....so I got up and as the two strippers started undressing me, the place went nuts as the lads knew a legendary moment was about to be played out. I stood inbetween the two girls as they took my clothes off and started giving me a wank, they then put a condom on me and both of them shared the task of giving me a blow job. At this point, I was laughing my tits off, and so where the lads in attendance, especially my brother and his mates along with everyone I knew, my best mate who was there was even on his mobile phone giving our other mate live commentary.

 

It was time for me to fuck the bitches.

 

The strippers asked in my ear "come on, big lad let's go for it, give 'em a show!" So I grabbed the more attractive of the two, bent her over and mounted her. The lads in attendance, at this time were in hysterics and they even started cheering my name! I struggled to fit my cock in at first, but succeeded after a couple attempts and then fuckd her like a good showman would! That was enough for me, so I got to my feet and called it a day and the girls raised my arms as if I had been victorious in a fight or something, and I recieved a standing ovation.

 

This is all 100% true. Even though I'm describing the scene as though I'm writing a mills and boon novel, everything is true.

 

I have never lived it down. I don't mind though, it was a good laugh and for a 14 year old, I temporarily lived the dream. The next day at school was fucking great as you can imagine.

 

I earned the nickname "Deuce Bigelow" from my brother's mates that they still call me now whenever I see them. The only downside, was when the blokes that were there who knew my dad told him, he laughed his head off and took the piss out of me and still does every now and then.

 

I gained a fair bit of notoriety from it, not just for the act itself, but stories of my cock size went around etc. It was a fucking good laugh and I'd it all again.

 

Note ; I'm glad that this was a little while before Camera/Video phones had came out.

 

Not this cool.

[Taylorslade]

Done anything kinda cool by the age of 14?

 

I've done loads of silly shit in my time, but there's one that I always still get a laugh out of and it has became somewhat of a folk story in my area and amongst my friends, associates, friends of friends etc....

 

 

My brother is a semi-pro footballer, and at the end of the '00/'01 season, the club he played for held an end of season party, which was to have live horse racing on the big screen for betting and of course, strippers, two of them. I was 14 at the time. I went with my brother, a friend my age also came, but it was mainly guys over 21 and a fair few club members, coaches, sponsors etc, I knew loads of the lads who were there, but a few were there who I didn't know. From what I remember, there was about 150-200 there.

 

Just for reference and anyone on here from Sunderland, the venue was the Lakeside social club in Farringdon/Gilley Law, so the Sunderland people on here can put a location to the story.

 

Anyway, the music starts, booze was flowing, everyone had a few bets on the horses and we eagerly awaited the first stripper. She came on, she was alrite but nothing too special, the second one who came on later was very very nice though. They done a solo act each, then at the end of the night they done one together, the usual drill for this kind of event. When they done their co-act, they attempted the classic audience participation thing....none of the lads they approached would get up, the loudest and most obnoxious pricks of the night suddenly turned into shy mutes. The strippers were about to bin the whole idea and the atmosphere seemed to go flat....so I got up and as the two strippers started undressing me, the place went nuts as the lads knew a legendary moment was about to be played out. I stood inbetween the two girls as they took my clothes off and started giving me a wank, they then put a condom on me and both of them shared the task of giving me a blow job. At this point, I was laughing my tits off, and so where the lads in attendance, especially my brother and his mates along with everyone I knew, my best mate who was there was even on his mobile phone giving our other mate live commentary.

 

It was time for me to fuck the bitches.

 

The strippers asked in my ear "come on, big lad let's go for it, give 'em a show!" So I grabbed the more attractive of the two, bent her over and mounted her. The lads in attendance, at this time were in hysterics and they even started cheering my name! I struggled to fit my cock in at first, but succeeded after a couple attempts and then fuckd her like a good showman would! That was enough for me, so I got to my feet and called it a day and the girls raised my arms as if I had been victorious in a fight or something, and I recieved a standing ovation.

 

This is all 100% true. Even though I'm describing the scene as though I'm writing a mills and boon novel, everything is true.

 

I have never lived it down. I don't mind though, it was a good laugh and for a 14 year old, I temporarily lived the dream. The next day at school was fucking great as you can imagine.

 

I earned the nickname "Deuce Bigelow" from my brother's mates that they still call me now whenever I see them. The only downside, was when the blokes that were there who knew my dad told him, he laughed his head off and took the piss out of me and still does every now and then.

 

I gained a fair bit of notoriety from it, not just for the act itself, but stories of my cock size went around etc. It was a fucking good laugh and I'd it all again.

 

Note ; I'm glad that this was a little while before Camera/Video phones had came out.

 

Not this cool.

 

....aw fuck, looks like I've started something here.

[HarmonicGenerator]

The funniest thing in the latest Staniforth thread had nothing to do with him.

 

Strawb can also mean div, or cripple.

 

I've always assumed it was an informal greeting, like "hi" or "hello".

 

Certainly every time I walked into a lockerroom it was the first thing people would say to me.

 

Self-deprecation~

[Gordon_The_Gopher]

The funniest thing in the latest Staniforth thread had nothing to do with him.

 

Strawb can also mean div, or cripple.

 

I've always assumed it was an informal greeting, like "hi" or "hello".

 

Certainly every time I walked into a lockerroom it was the first thing people would say to me.

 

Self-deprecation~

 

Seconded. I would also like to nod towards Mark Sloan's contribution to that thread because it used my favourite word - oxymoronic.

 

 

EDIT - it actual only says oxymoron, which is part of my favourite word. My nomination still stands.

[PunkStep]

The funniest thing in the latest Staniforth thread had nothing to do with him.

 

Strawb can also mean div, or cripple.

 

I've always assumed it was an informal greeting, like "hi" or "hello".

 

Certainly every time I walked into a lockerroom it was the first thing people would say to me.

 

Self-deprecation~

This. I wandered into this thread for the first time just to nominate this post. Brilliant.

[martyngnr]

Seeing as it's not often an actual post about wrestling makes it in here - this from Butch in the Davey Richards thread was the perfect analysis of what is wrong with indy wrestling/wrestlers....

 

http://ukff.com/index.php?s=&showtopic...t&p=2388659

 

Davey Richards seems to suffer from a problem I see quite a bit in a few indies which is it seems like he's cosplaying Dynamite Kid/Chris Benoit, but without the charm and real intensity. He's very crisp and all that, but it just seems a lot more forced and more like a game on Smackdown vs Raw than a fight, which is what Dynamite and Benoit brought to the table. He tries to create these epic and titanic tussles, but they just seem forced as opposed to an organic tour de force which really takes away from the match as someone viewing it.

 

I suppose a lot of it with him and similar talents is that they grow up watching all these epic AJPW matches off traders and that, and when they break in almost "play wrestler" as opposed to studying and replicating why those matches really were big epic battles, and it wasn't getting one's shit in.

[Shit Poster]

Alan Shearer to Cardiff doing the rounds on twitter

Isn't he getting on a bit?

 

Quality, made me laugh from the summer transfer thread.

[dangerously420]

Still got half a year to go lads. I'm sure im a shoe in to win this.

[Surf Digby]

Not any more.

[CuckedByMenry]

Still got half a year to go lads. I'm sure im a shoe in to win this.

This shit again? The only winning post you'll get at this rate would be a pipebomb through your letterbox. Now either post something awesome or piss off.

[The King Of Swing]

Still got half a year to go lads. I'm sure im a shoe in to win this.

This shit again? The only winning post you'll get at this rate would be a pipebomb through your letterbox. Now either post something awesome or piss off.

 

I nominate this post.

[King Pitcos]

I second it. That was brilliant, Stug.