Paid Members tiger_rick Posted January 17, 2011 Paid Members Posted January 17, 2011 Nominate your post(s) of the month. Nominate as many as you like. If the link isn't already posted in the thread, please provide a link to your nominated post. Add as many posts as you like throughout the month, be sure to add anything you feel is worthy even if it's already been nominated. Please make it clear if you are seconding a nomination.  You can not nominate yourself. Nominations will end at the end of the month, then the top 10 will go into a poll.  Feel free to nominate posts from off-topic, on-topic, UK shows, classifieds or paid members boards.  Poll will be ran every other month to decide 6 bi-monthly winners who'll make up the final vote.  Here are the early posts for January.  Here's one for January:- Joe's always been WAY over-rated in my opinion. Maybe I've just never "got" him, but I've never seen the appeal.  I find that hard to believe. He's got tits, after all.  I nominate, for your consideration, an early contender for 2011. From, and about, 'Coming Of Age': you are fucking kidding me, who recommissioned this fucking shite. I watched the first ever episode the other day. It was called "B...lowjob". Verrrrry WITAY.  The show starts with two lead characters having anal while doing homework, there's talk of having a "comfort wank" in the library. One of the characters is Welsh (cos they iz funneh), there's a character called DK who fancies and I quote "fat mingers who let me put my jam in there doughnut" which is then followed by a million fat jokes (not a million, but it felt like it). By the way I should point out here to explain the plot of this episode it mainly hubs around the students planning on sucking there teacher off so they can get better grades.... ANYWAY back to the roflcopter, a male character then says he has "Men Problems" involving "bleeding out my knob" and "plugging a pencil into my japseye", YES you fucking read that. Following more hijinks with DK in which he raps about something to do with cock and women's "twats" and all of the characters continuously making fat jokes, we then have the teacher being confronted by female lead character Jasmine Brown (possible relation to Divine) who wants her E grade changed to an A.  She pitches her idea by saying she wants to make him "E-rect and E-Jaculate with her F-tits" (somewhere John Cleese is loading shotgun into his mouth) as we saw some hilarity as she leaves him in the pool naked to be caught by the whole school. FUCKING LOL eh............ LOL. And as for our mate DK well to get this fat girls attention by throwing and I'm not kidding, a pork pie at her window and then reading her a poem. I have decided to re-print the poem in verbatim just so you can get the downright hilarity of it all.  Roses are Red You are very Fat Invite me Inside And I'll lick your Twat  It's safe to say nobody needs to read the Whitsun Wedding's after this.  So "Coming of Age" has somehow managed to go for not just one series but for TWO bloody series with an average of 1 million viewers. 1 MILLION people watch this show, greatly amused by the hilarious episode titles including "Dick and Fanny", "I Suck Coppers", "Up the Botty" and ahem "Pussy Boy". I don't fully comprehend the brain disabling aspect of "Coming of Age". It's not a show that makes you lose IQ points, it makes you go flat out retarded, I've become more stupid after watching it. I don't know right from wrong, I'm so stupid after watching it that I actually wrote a massive rant on it. "Coming of Age" is a fucking awful show, it's the most dire show I have possibly ever witnessed, I hope everyone involved in it dies and there bodies are then piled up and set on fire as an example that nobody ever tries anything like that again, fucking tossers... good day to you all.  Seconded, absolute quality.  From Khemical's stupid self-promotional thread:- Are you sure you didn't just make all this up so you could start a thread simply to mention that you design websites?  That's exactly what I was going to post. My opinion, 'All press is good press' and all that jazz. How many of us can honestly say they haven't clicked his link from this thread? Honestly. I did. Big whoop kid, you're a webstite designer. So's my mate, and he's done work for massive companies. Bully for him, bully for you and bully for us all. Crawl back up your arse and stop thinking you're important enough to warrant a whinging thread on an on topic forum. At best it was for off topic, but realistically, just grow the fuck up.  People don't like me in REAL life. I can't remember the last time I didn't cry myself to sleep because of it! Oh by the way, i'm selling friendship bracelets for cunts, and you can buy them at www.whogivesafu... yadda yadda yadda.
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted January 17, 2011 Moderators Posted January 17, 2011 HAha.. That Loki one is good. Didn't see that before. Â seconded
Paid Members martyngnr Posted January 17, 2011 Paid Members Posted January 17, 2011 Put me down as a third for Loki's one liner on SBA. Great stuff.
Paid Members Snake Plissken Posted January 17, 2011 Paid Members Posted January 17, 2011 This from the worst promotion thread after Xavier came in and threw a hissy fit in relation to comments around his backyard/going serious promotion  Xavier, you need to learn to work in this forum. You can't just come in and go from spot to spot to spot. 'I'm the respectful new guy / you all masturbate to Ric Flair / what have you ever done? / I QUIT'. Pace it out more, and give people time to react to each major spot. Your high spots may be good, but it's all too breathless.
Paid Members Burchill's Buddy Posted January 17, 2011 Paid Members Posted January 17, 2011 This from the worst promotion thread after Xavier came in and threw a hissy fit in relation to comments around his backyard/going serious promotion Xavier, you need to learn to work in this forum. You can't just come in and go from spot to spot to spot. 'I'm the respectful new guy / you all masturbate to Ric Flair / what have you ever done? / I QUIT'. Pace it out more, and give people time to react to each major spot. Your high spots may be good, but it's all too breathless. Haha that's excellent, nice work Chris. I'll second that one.
insert_name_here Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Fourth-ed that was a zinger and a half
Paid Members martyngnr Posted January 17, 2011 Paid Members Posted January 17, 2011 This from Tiger Rick in the Transfers thread was a beauty.... Â http://ukff.com/index.php?s=&showtopic...t&p=2288749 Â Big, big rumours that Darren Bent has handed in a transfer request and is discussing terms with Aston Villa. I've just received a couple of PM's from METAL ON METAL Â Â
Loki Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 He should be careful. He's liable to get suspended for posting the guy's address
Paid Members tom Posted January 17, 2011 Paid Members Posted January 17, 2011 I third the Chilli_dog post on Coming of Age
Paid Members seph Posted January 18, 2011 Paid Members Posted January 18, 2011 JLM, from the Little Fact thread:  http://ukff.com/index.php?s=&showtopic...t&p=2289645  lol geeks. I'm assuming the natural buzz of a lightsaber is one of the other exceptions, and probably has to be muted in post-production so that the actors can be heard.
dopper Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I was trying to think of a way to word a response to the PDF idea, when Sheffbag did it very well indeed: Â Not a DVD bargain, but Poundland in Norwich as hardback copies of Chris Jericho's A Lion's Tale. Â Can I convince someone to pick one up for me (will reimburse you obviously). Â You know that PDF versions are widely avaible pn xwt/pwt? You know that people do like to read books, i can hardly take my tower pc to the bog.
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted January 20, 2011 Moderators Posted January 20, 2011 Two nominations, both from the Fortean Conspiracy whatever thread.  Neil Numbers -  Duane, that is funny timing because I've just discovered something crazy about numbers as well! There are certain numbers that are only completely divisible by themselves or 1. For example, 2 is like that, you can only divide it by 2 or 1. Also, 3 is like that. But 4 you can divide by 2 so it is not one of these numbers.  I'm thinking of calling these "neil numbers". Although I'm open to other catchy names if anyone has ideas.   HERES WHERE IT GETS CRAZY THOUGH  If you take a non-neil number, like 4. Then you try and create that number using other numbers...YOU CAN ONLY DO IT WITH NEIL NUMBERS!!!!!!!!!!  4 = 2 * 2 (2 is a neil number remember)  If you still don't believe me then consider this:  Is 12 a neil number? No it is not (please read the first paragraph to see why). But how can you create 12?  12 = 2 * 6 (2 is a neil number but is 6? No, 6 is not a neil number)  BUT  6 = 2 * 3 (2 is a neil number AND SO IS 3)  THEREFORE  12 = 2 * 2 * 3  THIS IS TRUE FOR EVERY NUMBER I'VE TRIED!  I think I'm onto something VERY big here lads.   and also Loki's response to Dj Kris here had me creasing -  Is there not also some tribes out there who tie rope or something around the head of young kids to alter the shape of the skull? or did I dream that?  No, you got that from the eminent scientific journal "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008).   As with most of these things, it's best to go read them in context..
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted January 20, 2011 Awards Moderator Posted January 20, 2011 Permission to second the neil post?
Super Cena Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Tell us a bit more about yourself, what do you do for a living? Â This little number in Khemical's 'Help me become a better person' thread. It's nothing special out of context, but it was so simply delivered it made me laugh out loud for the first time on the UKFF this year. Â Here it is in all its glory
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.