Crap films you love

[Statto]

7 hours ago, HarmonicGenerator said:

Most films I like would be considered crap on here!

One that’s pretty widely considered bad that I love is Dracula: Dead and Loving It. Most would tell you it’s terrible and one of Mel Brooks’ worst. We got it out of the video shop when I was about 8, it was the first Mel Brooks thing I’d seen, and I thought it was hilarious. The staking scene still gets me every time.

I defend it, and I maintain it’s a better Dracula film than either Francis Ford Coppola’s one or that dreadful Steven Moffat TV version.

It's very rarely that my oldest friend and I will spend more than an hour together without one of us coming out with "SHE VILL BECOME VUN HERSEELLLFF!"

[King Coconut]

56 minutes ago, Cousin Jim Bob said:

Definitely was on at the cinema

Indeed. Robin Hood was red hot at the time and we lapped it all up. 

[Lorne Malvo]

This thread has reminded me that in the late 90s/early 00s, Channel 5 would show around 3 family movies back to back of a Sunday daytime. Me and my mom would watch the lot every week while my dad was down the boozer, so I look back on most of those movies fondly. Even though for every Short Circuit or The Goonies, they would show a hundred pieces of shit like Ernest In The Army or Baby Geniuses.

[davertfnewman]

18 minutes ago, Lorne Malvo said:

This thread has reminded me that in the late 90s/early 00s, Channel 5 would show around 3 family movies back to back of a Sunday daytime. Me and my mom would watch the lot every week while my dad was down the boozer, so I look back on most of those movies fondly. Even though for every Short Circuit or The Goonies, they would show a hundred pieces of shit like Ernest In The Army or Baby Geniuses.

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit is an example of that too.

[Chili]

I remember seeing those loads of those Ernest videos in my old video shop and while I get you should probably watch something to judge it's quality... There is no way that any of them can even be approaching good, they look crap but not even in a crap film way.

I particularly love a low budget movie where they've TRIED. It's why I don't like those Sharknado or Mega Python Vs Lizard Fanny films sci-fi channels put out because they're in on the ironically bad film take. So it feels like it's cheating a bit. Fuck that. I want something rubbish where a real love has gone into trying to make a GOOD film, but whatever circumstances prevent that. It's why people like The Room, even if it's an overrated bad movie because it's the easy choice.

My genuinely favourite watchable bad movie is The Apple. A Golan produced musical that started as a take on Adam & Eve but because of loads of brilliant idiots ended up turning into an Orwellian space disco set in 1994 (because the producers thought 1984 was too close to actual film releases time), filmed in West Germany under the guise it's in America, it's fucking insanely shit, but delightful bollocks. All the futuristic cars look like the one Homer Simpson designed. The trailer is just a great mind fuck of sequences.

 

 

[Accident Prone]

6 hours ago, I Bent My Wookie said:

Blues Brothers can be a bit of a controversial one, the skit itself is fantastic and the quality of cameo is amazing, but as a film it's fairly awful but again I find myself watching it two or three times a year. Just weird but wholesome fun and again quotable and memorable all the same. 

Isn't Blues Brothers considered to be genuinely good? Or is that just the circles I used to hang out with? I've never heard a bad word about it. Excellent film, one that I can't wait to put on when it gets cool enough in the evenings to hang out with people again. 

I'll nominate Van Helsing as my crap love. Its overly long, doesn't make any sense, dreadfully acted but Richard Roxburgh hamming it up as Drac is a whale of a time! I don't think a week goes by that "I...am...HOLLOW!" doesn't get quoted in our house. 

[SuperBacon]

2 minutes ago, Accident Prone said:

Isn't Blues Brothers considered to be genuinely good? Or is that just the circles I used to hang out with? I've never heard a bad word about it. Excellent film, one that I can't wait to put on when it gets cool enough in the evenings to hang out with people again. 

I've never seen either of them as it's not really my thing, but the 2000 one was universally panned at the time, and I only remember this as this was when I was getting into film magazines and it was a huge deal as to how shit it was, and to link to the Frankies original post, so was Godzilla. I remember Empire being particularly harsh on it, and angering Emmerich massively.

[Chest Rockwell]

I assume Robin Hood Prince of Thieves is considered objectively shit, but I love it. 

[Chili]

3 minutes ago, Accident Prone said:

Isn't Blues Brothers considered to be genuinely good? Or is that just the circles I used to hang out with? I've never heard a bad word about it. Excellent film, one that I can't wait to put on when it gets cool enough in the evenings to hang out with people again. 

I'll nominate Van Helsing as my crap love. Its overly long, doesn't make any sense, dreadfully acted but Richard Roxburgh hamming it up as Drac is a whale of a time! I don't think a week goes by that "I...am...HOLLOW!" doesn't get quoted in our house. 

Blues Brothers is my legit favourite film. It's not the best, but it's my favourite, I always thought it was genuinely well revered. As @SuperBacon says, the sequel is absolutely abhorrent. A great example of sequel that literally has no reason to exist at all.

[gmoney]

14 minutes ago, Chili said:

I remember seeing those loads of those Ernest videos in my old video shop and while I get you should probably watch something to judge it's quality... There is no way that any of them can even be approaching good, they look crap but not even in a crap film way.

I particularly love a low budget movie where they've TRIED. It's why I don't like those Sharknado or Mega Python Vs Lizard Fanny films sci-fi channels put out because they're in on the ironically bad film take. So it feels like it's cheating a bit. Fuck that. I want something rubbish where a real love has gone into trying to make a GOOD film, but whatever circumstances prevent that. It's why people like The Room, even if it's an overrated bad movie because it's the easy choice.

My genuinely favourite watchable bad movie is The Apple. A Golan produced musical that started as a take on Adam & Eve but because of loads of brilliant idiots ended up turning into an Orwellian space disco set in 1994 (because the producers thought 1984 was too close to actual film releases time), filmed in West Germany under the guise it's in America, it's fucking insanely shit, but delightful bollocks. All the futuristic cars look like the one Homer Simpson designed. The trailer is just a great mind fuck of sequences.

 

 

I like The Apple a fair bit, but for crap musicals I prefer Can't Stop The Music,, the Village People movie. It's not a Cannon film, but it feels like it is. It tells a completely made up, yet fairly banal, story of their formation. Stars Steve Guttenberg. None of these features sound great, but yet it love it. 

[Chili]

3 minutes ago, gmoney said:

I like The Apple a fair bit, but for crap musicals I prefer Can't Stop The Music,, the Village People movie. It's not a Cannon film, but it feels like it is. It tells a completely made up, yet fairly banal, story of their formation. Stars Steve Guttenberg. None of these features sound great, but yet it love it. 

Obviously I've seen this, it's a shocker. A really awful movie, though Steve Guttenberg in short shorts roller skating through New York is a hilarious image.

The Apple is just incredible for how it goes from song to song with no real logical thread to it. My favourite thing I noticed was the big scene at the Boogaloo offices which are very obviously the concorse and lounge of a disused airport.

Edited August 14 by Chili

[BomberPat]

The Apple is absolutely bonkers, it's certainly not good, but it's impossible not to have a good time with it. Great shout.

I have seen at least one Ernest movie. The same friends I went to see Godzilla with, their Mum was American, and they spent the Summer holidays over there. This is the mid-to-late '90s, when anything American was so exotic and exciting. They definitely had the prison one, and maybe Ernest Saves Christmas. I definitely watched the prison one. I couldn't tell you a single thing about it, just totally forgettable family film slop.

Couldn't agree more about films made to be bad. There's no charm to them. I was talking to someone the other day about Samurai Cop 2 and Birdemic 2, how the first films were terrible but fascinating because they were made completely earnestly, with passion behind them, but no knowledge as to how to actually make a film, but then by the sequels the filmmakers know that reputation and try to make something intentionally wacky and "so bad it's so good", and they just become shit, because it's still made by a bad filmmaker, but now it's completely lacking in charm because it's trying to be all knowing and self-aware as well. I remember a mate went to see a live screening of The Room with Tommy Wiseau Q&A quite early on into that being a thing, and saying that someone had clearly told Tommy that the party line was that the film was a black comedy and it was supposed to be funny, but that it became clear through all of his answers that he couldn't keep it up because he had no idea why people found it funny.

[DavidB6937]

Never seen The Apple but it looks like the kinda movie I'd become utterly obsessed with so I better stay away from it. I made that mistake with I Wanna Be a Hulkamaniac and I'm not losing my sanity again.

[SuperBacon]

3 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

I remember a mate went to see a live screening of The Room with Tommy Wiseau Q&A quite early on into that being a thing, and saying that someone had clearly told Tommy that the party line was that the film was a black comedy and it was supposed to be funny, but that it became clear through all of his answers that he couldn't keep it up because he had no idea why people found it funny.

There is absolutely no doubt that the film was intended to be a serious romantic drama, akin to the Hallmark shite, and that he played into the fact that it was a comedy after the fact. That he couldn't keep up the pretence doesn't surprise me, as he's not human. I've never actually seen The Room as the OSW review of it, and The Disaster Artist book and film were enough for me. I do love how it found a home though and that people continue to enjoy it.

I have the same problem with those fantastic Christmas films I watch. If you're all nudge nudge wink wink about it, I won't be enjoying it. If you genuinely are trying to save Christmas by selling fir trees on a New York street as your farm is dying, with no hint of irony, I'll love you forever.

[Chest Rockwell]

16 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

have seen at least one Ernest movie. The same friends I went to see Godzilla with, their Mum was American, and they spent the Summer holidays over there. This is the mid-to-late '90s, when anything American was so exotic and exciting. They definitely had the prison one, and maybe Ernest Saves Christmas. I definitely watched the prison one. I couldn't tell you a single thing about it, just totally forgettable family film slop.

My brother and I still quote Ernest Scared Stupid to this day. No desire to rewatch it though of course. 

In the prison one I think there was a case of mistaken identity where he looks like the real baddie and that's why he's in jail. Can't remember anything else about it.

We weren't living in the UK at that time and my dad surprised with a satellite dish. We watched so many shit American films on sky movies and loved them all. 

Edited August 14 by Chest Rockwell