Dr. Alan Grant’s Royal Rumble Adventures

[d-d-d-dAz]

1 minute ago, JLM said:

I do think it was a very smart move to have Nikki take the bullet as a mildly disappointing but at least somewhat surprising number 30. Spared any of their regularly featured talent the "oh, it's just you" reaction and the people were at least moderately pleased to see her. What a trooper. 

I enjoyed the crowd turning on her as she struggled through some press ups.

[air_raid]

1 hour ago, Chico Torres said:

Curious to learn more about this hot young superstar who’s the surprise winner of the rumble only to learn he’s been in the company for 15 years and he turns 40 this year.

I think you’re having a pop at someone about something here, but I’m not sure who or for what. Yes, Jey has worked their 15 years. He spent 13 of these years in a tag team and still represents relatively new blood in his current persona in the main event scene, especially on a stage like Mania. Were they wrong to take a punt on Kofi too since he’d been there 10 years?

As for 40… are you labouring under the misconception that wrestling, like football, is a young man’s game? It isn’t. The reason Rock, Lesnar then Orton were treated as exceptional for winning first World titles in their mid 20s was because they were. Wrestling is replete with guys reaching the pinnacle north of 40 - Bret Hart turned 40 at the peak of the hottest run of his career, just four days before Canadian Stampede. Hulk Hogan turned 40 a little under 9 years before his final WWF title win. Ric Flair turned 40 in 1989 before he had two outstanding feuds with Ricky Steamboat and Terry Funk before reaching 41 and carried on winning titles for a further 11 years. The aforementioned AJ Styles turned 40 before he won his second WWE title, need I go on?

As for making it as a new star at that age, Diamond Dallas Page turned 40 in 96 before going on his big run, turning babyface by rejecting the nWo in 97 before winning the big belt three times in 99/2000. So… yeah, no.

[LaGoosh]

Wrestlers for the most part don't tend to get genuinely good until their mid 30s and after a couple of injuries have slowed them down a bit.

[mim731]

2 hours ago, d-d-d-dAz said:

Plus Drew probably doesn't want to pick a 'it's me or him' backstage fight with Logan Paul.

Triple H loves his streamers.

In fairness, he's not wrong, they're far more likely to bring in new, younger fans than Drew with his Grecian 2000 dye job, much as I like him (and as an aside, his hair seemed unusually luscious on this show).

I might not know who they all are, but there's a whole generation of kids who do and that's who they need to hook in for the future. 

[Snitsky's back acne]

1 hour ago, Devon Malcolm said:

 

Men's Rumble

Well I've seen enough of Penta. He's shite.

Yeah, never seen the appeal but was willing to give him a chance.
Don't see it, personally. His mask looks cool close up but he reminds me of early 2000's indie darling Super Dragon (and not in a good way).

Hopefully I'm wrong but I cant see him being a big deal by this time next year. 

Plus, he needs to stick to the black hear - that blue number was not a good look.

Edited February 2, 2025 by Snitsky's back acne

[d-d-d-dAz]

I have just re-read one of my earlier posts and it turns out someone did call Jey Uso young. Me.

I just meant younger than John Cena.

Poor John Cena...

 

 

[FLips]

I assume it's for films but he's shaved his head before so not sure why he can't commit to that now. Get that Prototype style back.

[Supremo]

Pro-wrestling is a work, where TV age is a real thing and people can have their primes far later than the usual sportsperson. Actual age doesn’t have to matter at all. Orange Cassidy is forty years old but still feels like a young, fresh, exciting talent. And at the other end of the spectrum, IShowSpeed is only twenty years old, but he took a bump better than many lads will in their entire career. 

I’ve watched this GIF back at least six thousand times. The type of thing you’d download off Kazaa and never get tired of watching. BronBreaker_Kills.man.gif. It’s beautiful. Nunzio loses his crown. New best Spear Bump of all time has dropped.

Anyway, look at this disgraceful behaviour. Posing like that above a fallen warrior. Disgusting. Pathetic.

Dear Lord, what a sad little life, Cody. You ruined my night, completely, so you could have the belts, but I hope now you use them to get some lessons in grace and decorum because you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on.

It was a show of two halves. The Women’s Royal Rumble and the Tag Title Match were mostly crap, but they turned it around with the brutal Ladder Match and wildly exciting Men’s Rumble.

What day do you reckon they do HBK’s Kip Up Class at the Performance Center? Thursdays? Save Shocked Face Class for Fridays? That’s all I’ll remember from the Women’s Rumble. Loads and loads of kip ups. Considering what we know about how they book The Rumble, with most things meticulously planned out, this might have been one of the laziest ever. A solid twenty women came in with the same directive. Do a power move, then do a kip up. That was it.

Alexa Bliss got an impressive pop. I laughed at Michael Cole trying to be a dickhead, sarcastically going, “but the internet told me she wasn’t coming back!” Being able to work Dave Meltzer by feeding him false information in 2025 is not something to be proud of, Cole. Like bragging you managed to convince your toddler that Santa is real.

Alexa Bliss and Liv Morgan out there at the same time confirmed AJ Lee wasn’t making an appearance. There’s no room for three women dressed like emo teenagers. Twitter would explode with the spunk of a million weirdoes.

Jordynne Grace looked great. Between her showing here, and how ridiculously professional she was on her way out of TNA, I reckon she’s earned herself a Fast Track Ticket. Go straight to the Main Roster. Do not Pass Go. Do not attend Wednesday Night Look at my Hands Class at the Performance Center.

It wasn’t even her fault, but it was incredibly fitting how shit it looked when Nia eliminated all those women at once. Bush league stuff. You know in Toy Story, when Andy walks in, and all the toys fall to the ground lifeless? I like that the WWE Women’s Division have their own version of that, where everyone suddenly pretends they’re being sucked into a portal, rather than risk injury wrestling Nia Jax.

I tried to give Charlotte a chance. I really did. But she was Charlotte. The most boring act, booked the most boringly way. Is boringly a word? It was that night. Genuinely impressive to be gone over a year and in one night I’m already sick of you again. The moment Io Sky was eliminated, it was obvious what they were doing. I could feel my enthusiasm slowly seep out of my arse. We’re back to doing this again. Whoo. Queen. Wins again. Whoo.

The only saving grace for Charlotte was watching Cena later on. It took forever, but eventually Cena stuck around for so long that his shitness and how much he was forced down our throats became endearing. Maybe it’ll happen for Charlotte. Maybe I’ll one day by cheering her on, the way I did Cena here. I doubt it, but they’ll still be pushing her like this in ten years anyway, and she’ll still be the most boring, shittest character, so at least we’ll get to see the experiment through to its natural conclusion.

More power to anyone thinking Charlotte is on some selfless run, to make new stars. She’s beating Tiffy at Mania. Bank it.

Tag Title match will go down in history as a wrestling match that happened in front of my eyes.

Ladder match was a brutal, terrifying affair. It felt absolutely massive and I was on the hook for everything. Gutted for Kevin. Terrified for Sami. There was a clear moment there, after Kevin died, where Sami could have pushed the ladder over and stopped Cody from winning. That’s what a real friend would have done. I’m afraid you’re going to have to be murdered now, young Samual. Tough love.

It’s a shame we’re likely not getting the dream match of Kevin and Sami for the Title at Mania, but there’s always next year.  It’ll happen one day. It’s fate. If Sami survives what’s coming for being such a bad friend.

Men’s Rumble was bloody brilliant. One of the best in years. Ridiculously star-studded, tonnes of fun, with loads of absolute beasts looking amazing. The time flew by.

Penta and Rey in first was inspired. They should turn Penta’s feet touching into storyline, similar to Big Show in 2000. Tell me it wouldn’t be amazing having Chad Gable BUILD THE CASE, chasing down footage and getting lawyers to declare him a cheater. Only to have his arm broken.

Good for Joe Hendry. It’s all about the game and how you play it.

Music was absolutely terrible all night. In The Rumble specifically, you shouldn’t have one single entrance where the crowd don’t immediately recognise the music. I reckon that was the case for at least sixty per cent here.

Jacob Fatu looked amazing again. Love him.

Pure magic when they had the Cena, Roman and Punk stare down. Did Cena and Punk even touch? It felt like they purposely teased it without delivering. Still hoping we get a singles match. Maybe after one of them turns heel.

Roman Reigns had an absolutely incredible hair day. Looked majestic. What a man.

Kofi didn’t even get to enter the match. Good. Prick.

Seth had another one of his good nights, which was equally as enjoyable as it was worrying. The Seth/Roman lore is so strong and those two have such great chemistry that you could almost do that match at Wrestlemania. And Seth’s stomp on Roman with both feet was wildly violent. There’s money there. But at the expense of Roman vs. Punk? Are they really going to turn it into a Triple Threat match?! Fuck that. No thanks.

Jey Uso was a fantastic choice as winner. A complete surprise, that really solidifies how anyone can win, whilst also capitalising on a ridiculously over man. Love it.

Having a mooch online, it seems Jey was listed at odds as high as 66/1. I try and avoid any NEWZ the day of The Rumble, but did Jey's chances leak at all? Someone could have made some serious money.

All this chatter of whether Jey, “deserved it,” or whether there’s a, “wrong type,” of being over can get in the bin. You’re all missing the bigger picture. The 4D Chess at play. Hunter’s learned a valuable lesson from last year. He’s made his Mania card bulletproof. If all goes well, he gets to do all the matches he wants to do, whilst simultaneously giving Gunther a match people might actually care about. But if Rock suddenly turns up to fuck everything up again? It won’t be as catastrophic as last year. I mean, honestly, would anyone be shocked if this happened on Raw in the upcoming weeks? Final Boss announces he’s Number thirty one and batters Jey, stealing the spot again?

“..and this one is for the Netflix executives, who I love dearly!”

Good show overall. Crazy though. Imagine watching that pile of shit Jimmy and Jey delivered at last year’s Wrestlemania and thinking, “one of these lads is winning The Rumble next year.” Anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation.

Edited February 3, 2025 by Supremo

[Version1.0]

The best part was that AJ had his old theme music back

[AshC]

Ending was bang-on. Make the new star. Attach the rocket. A rare opportunity to achieve this at the same time as it being a surprise. 

 

[thevestofdeanambrose]

Not sure if it has been mentioned but can we take a moment to appreciate Bron Breakers Steiner Math gear. Class haha.

[boshealecta]

4 hours ago, thevestofdeanambrose said:

Not sure if it has been mentioned but can we take a moment to appreciate Bron Breakers Steiner Math gear. Class haha.

I only noticed that it was an exact replica of his Dads gear because I’d literally been watching RAW vault the day before. What’s the reason Rick wore numbers over his singlet?

[JLM]

I had also assumed it was a nod to the Steiner maths promo but, as boshealecta says, it’s a recreation of this Rick Steiner gear:

[air_raid]

A few more thoughts… fuck Charlotte. She’s only been back one show and I’m sick of her already. Fuck Nikki Bella too, she was always crap and I don’t get why she’s got such a reputation as a legend, other than as part of the dreadful era post Trish/Lita/Mickie/Vic and pre NXT where she and her twinbot hung around like a persistent smell long after the rest of the garbage was filtered out. Although I think it’s funny her and Cena returning at the same time.

I am a little confused now as to the Mania plan. If Jeys presumably taking a crack at Gunther, does that leave Cena with Logan Paul? Were they setting up Punk vs Reigns or Punk vs Rollins or… if Punk is wrestling Cody at Mania, surely they aren’t doing Reigns vs Rollins?

Eh, I’m sure they know what they’re doing. They just had a 70,000 gate where they gave one of the men’s and both of the women’s World champions the night off and nobody’s complaining about lack of star power on the card. How things change.

Edited February 3, 2025 by air_raid
You can look, but you can’t see me.

[Slapnut]

1 hour ago, air_raid said:

I am a little confused now as to the Mania plan. If Jeys presumably taking a crack at Gunther, does that leave Cena with Logan Paul? Were they setting up Punk vs Reigns or Punk vs Rollins or… if Punk is wrestling Cody at Mania, surely they aren’t doing Reigns vs Rollins?

Cody vs Cena is the other title match, surely?