Dr. Alan Grant’s Royal Rumble Adventures

[tiger_rick]

10 hours ago, Dr. Alan Grant said:

4. 1993 (3/5)

5. 1991 (3/5)

Watched both of these recently and I'd say that's probably a bit unfair on 1991. I like anything in 1993 more than most people but the Rumble does have a big death spot (literally) before the Taker/Gonzalez angle. 1991 is a fantastic show, the undercard is an all-timer. The Rumble suffers from being very predictable but I think the work and the line-up of stars lift it. A brilliant show. Love the review format.

[Chili]

1991 suffers from a very good undercard and a Rumble Match that doesn't do much and is sandwiched between two classic Rumble years. 91 is also the first that carries the annoying trait I don't like of multiple people who don't fucking matter getting long Rumble runs that don't matter,  because there are too many. Hercules (40 minutes), Bulldog (40 minutes), Valentine (40+) minutes, Luke (8 seconds). All too long. I'm sure there are a couple more. Never enjoyed when they do that especially when Rick Martel is absolutely going for it throughout, great heel performance from Martel in that. Flair's performance the year after unfortunately apes it, but he's great. He's a sneaky fuck, and constantly looking like he's going but stays in. The pop for Bulldog eliminating him is so satisfying.

Also really like Backund's '93 effort for what @Dr. Alan Grant pointed out. Nobody gives a fucking shit about him at the start, but around the third stage of the match you can spot his saves getting bigger pops and by the time he eliminates Martel (same way Bulldog eliminated Rick in 91), you see the crowd proper pop, I don't know if they think he'll win, doubtful, I think they were just really into his run in the match. You actually hear a few screams and almost disappointed 'ahhhhh' reaction when he finally goes. Really great performance, it worked out for Bob eventually, but shame they didn't try doing anything with his Rumble marathon run, given it was unbroken for years.

[Dr. Alan Grant]

1 hour ago, tiger_rick said:

Watched both of these recently and I'd say that's probably a bit unfair on 1991. I like anything in 1993 more than most people but the Rumble does have a big death spot (literally) before the Taker/Gonzalez angle. 1991 is a fantastic show, the undercard is an all-timer. The Rumble suffers from being very predictable but I think the work and the line-up of stars lift it. A brilliant show. Love the review format.

It could just be a nostalgia thing. I’ve seen ‘93 more times than any other Rumble match and whilst ‘91 has the bigger names, the Backlund one is just a massive comfort watch.

 

[gmoney]

90 and 91 are both pure classics for me as my mate had them recorded and we watched them over and over. Absolutely impossible for me to be objective about them, 

[theringmaster]

Looking back, Backland return in 93 really was Vince's heart over his head wasn't it?

[BomberPat]

2 hours ago, theringmaster said:

Looking back, Backland return in 93 really was Vince's heart over his head wasn't it?

It was off the back of George Foreman fighting Evander Holyfield in 1991; Vince wanted to replicate the story of an old champion returning in his 40s and going the distance against younger competitors. 

Edited February 10, 2025 by BomberPat

[Carbomb]

5 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

It was off the back of George Foreman fighting Evander Holyfield in 1991; Vince wanted to replicate the story of an old champion returning in the 40s and going the distance against younger competitors. 

I didn't know that - that's a brilliant bit of trivia, thanks. 

What's so bizarre about that now, of course, is that most modern main eventers hit their prime and the peak of their careers at an age that was considered "an old man coming out of retirement to see if he can hang with the youngsters" for Backlund.

To be fair, we've always known that it really comes down to looks. Backlund just looked like a perennially middle-aged/old dude.

[Dr. Alan Grant]

When a 45 year old Carlos Colon shows up, Monsoon says there’s “a lot of fire in this youngster.”

[BomberPat]

Monsoon was Carlos' old business partner, but I've never been able to tell if him saying that was him earnestly trying to put Colon over, or a rib on a bloke who looked ten years older than he was.

[tiger_rick]

The Backlund vignettes in 92 are some of the worst things the company ever put on TV. Bob looked anything but a star who was ready to return. I fucking love those years though. Them constantly trying stuff. New characters, heel turns, new matches, new concepts, different arenas, different PPVs, creative ways around shit happening on the fly, etc. It was the antithesis of the last ten years of Vince, when the company ran like clockwork with the same characters, the same presentation, the same ideas. Ironically, the only creative ideas were bringing back 40-something champions of the past.

Chaos is incredible for wrestling. 1997 says so.   

[Dr. Alan Grant]

This trio…was a chore.

1994

1. First Two Participants. Scott Steiner and Samu. The Steiners/Headshrinkers match from Mania 9 is a little hidden gem of a match, so I liked to see these two face off again. 

2. I am hereby changing the shitarse tag to something a little less harsh. They aren’t necessarily shit, but groanworthy for a Rumble participant in my eyes. Hence the new tag, Groaners. Here we have Kwang, Virgil, Jeff Jarrett, Bob Sparky Thurman Plugg Holly, Mo, Kabuki (I’ve probably seen this Rumble a dozen times and I have no memory of this guy at all).

3. Best Elimination. Samu misses a crossbody and gets his head stuck in the rope. Then Scotty Steiner gives him a gentle push off the apron. 

4. Best Moment. When Diesel enters, he gets a smattering of boos. Then he cleans house and the crowd goes berserk for him. Big Daddy Cool is over.

5. Worst Moment. No more Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan or Jesse Ventura. Now we have McMahon and Ted DiBiase on commentary. It’s not an easy listen.

6. Best Move. Lex Luger clotheslines Fatu and he spins about 8 times in the air. Some say he’s still spinning to this day.

7. Biggest Pops. Macho Man, Lex Luger and a hobbling Bret Hart. Also, Diesel when he goes on his elimination spree. This might be one of my favourite Rumble tropes, where someone dominates and eliminates people one after the after when they come in, like Austin and Lesnar did. I have a vague memory of Punk doing it too when he had a stable of followers. 

8. Funniest Moment. It’s a laughter free Rumble I’m afraid.

9. Any Laying About? Nah. 

10. Final Four. Bret Hart, Lex Luger, Shawn Michaels and Fatu. Not bad.

11. Standout Performace. Big Sexy. 

12. Final Rating. It’s very average. The double winner is another daft finish and Diesel aside, there’s nothing to write home about. 2.5/5

1995

1. First Two Participants. Shawn Michaels and British Bulldog. It’s all downhill from here.

2. Groaners. It would probably save time to name the non-groaners. Oh well, here we go. Strap in. Eli Blu, Duke Droese, Jimmy Del Ray, Sione (I love the Barbarian, not this fake Headshrinker), Doctor Tom Prichard, Kwang, Timothy Well, Bushwhacker Luke, Jacob Blu, King Kong Bundy, Mo, Bushwhacker Butch, FUCKING MANTAUR, Aldo Montoya, Henry Godwinn, Steven Dunn, Dick Murdoch and shitty Headshrinkers v.2 Fatu. Worst rostered year of all time?

3. Best Elimination. British Bulldog with a clothesline to Shawn Michaels, who touched the floor and was definitely eliminated.

4. Best Moment. I had a bacon sandwich during it. 

5. Worst Moment. The entire thing, collectively. 

6. Best Move. Dick Murdoch with a lovely dropkick to Henry Godwinn. Almost enough to get him removed from the Groaners list. 

7. Biggest Pops. Bret Hart, even though he wasn’t in it, attacking Owen.

8. Funniest Moment. Around halfway, when Mantaur came out, I laughed because of how terrible this whole thing was. Then along came Aldo Montoya and I was sad again.

9. Any Laying About? Me, in a comatose state.

10. Final Four. Lex Luger, Crush, Bulldog and a soon to be eliminated Shawn Michaels. 

11. Standout Performace. Pamela Anderson for having the patience to sit through this and not walk out. God bless you, Pammy.

12. Final Rating. 1/5. Worthless. 

1996

1. First Two Participants. Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Henry Godwinn. Urgh.

2. Groaners. 1995, you have some competition! Henry Godwinn, Sparky Bob Thurman Holly Plugg, Dory Funk, Omori (no idea), Savio Vega, Doug Gilbert, Squat Team 1, Squat Team 2, Aldo Montoya, Kama, Barry Horowitz, Make A Difference Fatu, Isaac Yankem and Duke Droese. 

3. Best Elimination. Yokozuna and Vader each clotheslining a Squat Team member over the top.

4. Best Moment. Vader goes on a rampage after being knocked out, prompting Monsoon to come out.

5. Worst Moment. Jake Roberts has been trying to hit a DDT in a Rumble for years. I’m sure he always fails. This time he actually nails it but the camera misses it. Kevin Dunn’s fault, probably.

6. Best Move. Shawn Michaels wins with a sweet chin music to Diesel to win his first Rumble, having been eliminated by Bulldog the previous year.

7. Biggest Pops. My boy, Jake Roberts and Shawn Michaels.

8. Funniest Moment. The visual of Squat Team 1 leaving down the aisle only for Squat Team 2 to meet him in the middle. “I’m seeing double. Four Squat Teams!”

9. Any Laying About? We are still firmly in the era of constant action.

10. Final Four. Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Kama and winner of the 1995 Royal Rumble, the British Bulldog.

11. Standout Performace. Vader. My favourite ever big man in wrestling.

12. Final Rating. On the plus side, it’s better than 1995. But then so is scurvy. There’s still an awful lot of no hopers in this. 2/5

The ranking so far.

1. 1992 (5/5)

2. 1990 (4.5/5)

3. 1989 (3.5/5)

4. 1993 (3/5)

5. 1991 (3/5)

6. 1988 (3/5)

7. 1994 (2.5/5)

8. 1996 (2/5)

9. 1995 (1/5)

I hope I’ve watched the worst one now. I still have a Del Rio victory to force myself to watch, but it can’t be as bad as ‘95. 

[tiger_rick]

Best posts on the board. Love 'em.

1994 is better than 1993. The Steiners and Shrinkers are good sprinkled throughout it, Diesel run is great stuff and an all-timer of a one-night start-making job, the suspense of whether Bret was the guy who couldn't make it, Bret then limping down being the selling GOAT he is, the perfectly done double finish. Even Dibiase's dogshit commentary is OK in this match.

Agree about 1995. Absolutely useless match with a paper-thin roster. That they sold it as the fastest Rumble ever, because they knew they just needed to get it out of the way, and still tried to sell Shawn and Davey as super-human for going the distance is one of the great contradictions. Justice for Davey.

1996 is better. It's not great and you've highlighted the reason with that massive list of absolute groaners (add nice boy Fatu to my list of people I inexplicably like more than 99% of people though). I wish the elimination of Vader had been more of something though. Shawn pushing two fat blokes over wasn't it. Great aftermath though.

[Carbomb]

@Dr. Alan Grant - not that it changes anything, but to give you some context about Omori (although I knew he'd been in a Rumble, I didn't realise it was that early in the 90s), he was a relatively big star in Japan as a tag specialist, most notably in a tag-team with Yoshihiro Takayama called No Fear (they had one of the greatest tag finishers ever, called the Big Hire Demolition). Though he was a Triple Crown champ at one point, he's been mainly an upper-midcarder; high-impact brawler who does one of the best diving double-knee drops I've ever seen.

[FLips]

That 1995 Rumble is something else isn't it? We think we had it bad in the 2010s (we did) but at least it wasn't Miz the bin man, Kofi Kingston the hockey player, or Dolph Ziggler the minotaur.

Loving these posts by the way. Great stuff

[RedTwoster]

These posts are fantastic, and I’m actually going to watch some of these now just to see how crap they actually were. I’ve never seen Mantaur in action, or any of those 90s gimmicks in anything outside of stills!