Bacon's absolutely awful Xmas film watch

[TheBurningRed]

Now I’ve got a few days off work, I’m going to watch a couple of these crap films. A new one has been added to the dodgy app I’ve got. Catch Me If You Claus. An aspiring news anchor catches a home intruder wearing a red suit claiming to be Santas son. It’s directed by Bradley Walsh but I don’t think it’s TVs Bradley Walsh. 

[SaitoRyo]

Not awful because it has Dolly Parton singing in it, but this is typical 90s made-for-TV Christmas cheese. I watched it a couple of years back and found it somewhat enjoyable, if you want a bit of a palate cleanser. 

Also on Prime IIRC.
 

 

[Dead Mike]

I see you Bacon.....

[cobra_gordo]

My wife is obsessed with crap Christmas films. I was out for the day on Saturday and she took it as an opportunity to watch all of the A Christmas Wish and A Christmas Switch films.

Can highly recommend Angels Sing. Crap but I've been made to sit through it so many times I'm now a fan. Christmas-hating Harry Connick Jr buys a house of Willie Nelson in an area mysteriously filled with country music artists who attempt to bully him in to the festive spirit. Much singing ensues.

[Carbomb]

21 minutes ago, Dead Mike said:

I see you Bacon.....

shakin' that ass

[Chest Rockwell]

42 minutes ago, Dead Mike said:

I see you Bacon.....

Bacon RW

[SuperBacon]

Good pic use @Chest Rockwell as he resembles (a younger) me a fair bit.

Anyway I do it for the love, not the money. Like a reverse CM Punk.

Saying that, I will look into that. 

[JNLister]

This is on Amazon Freevee. It's almost so-bad-its-compelling but does eventually fall into the "is it a spoof or just a remake" territory:
 

 

[TheBurningRed]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGedoAKhm/
 

Found these films for you to watch @SuperBacon

[Dai]

Some kind person here posted a deal to get the US version of Peacock, which I did. The biggest upside of it so far is to have on the Hallmark Christmas channel in the background for when we are not really watching the TV. A constant stream of rubbish Christmas films all day, amazing. American adverts is the cherry on top too. 

Edited December 1, 2023 by Dai

[SuperBacon]

Your Christmas Or Mine 2

I can't remember anything about the first one, other than the fact that Daniel fucking Mays popped up in it. 

Obviously I didn't know that but I have no excuse this time around. I knew he was in it and I still watched it, so I'm an idiot.

In the first one apparently James and Hayley tried to surprise each other and missed each other so ended up with each others families over Xmas. Hayley at James mansion (as he's some sort of nobility or something) and James with Hayleys WORKING CLASS NORTHERN family. I think they drove in an ice cream truck at one point.

In this one they all go skiing in Innsbruck, and at some point James ex turns up, and Hayley thinks he is proposing to her and storms off, but then in the end they end up engaged. The end. Its not a complicated plot.

Nothing happens. They mix up the hotels, they go skiing, there's a pamper session. It's all quite crap and inoffensive. 

Saying that, Asa Butterfield and Cora Kirk are affable leads, and the supporting cast has Angela Griffin (always fancied her), David Bradley, Jane Krakowski and Ram John Holder aka Porkpie from The Desmonds! (And Porkpie obvs, which IMO was the better show)

But the supporting cast also contains Daniel Mays. Here is a pic of him from a recent One Show appearance. Imagine wheeling this out to promote your big Christmas film. 

I had a look round Innsbruck while it was on and it looks lovely, and has a fantastic looking catholic church. I love a good church.

They also eat something called moosebeernocken (just fruit pancakes) which is a fun name. I'll never go as fun fact about me: I can never ski because of my knee, and lets be honest you'd only go for the skiing wouldn't you?

Half an hour from there is a place called Seefeld (what's the deal with all those chairs lifts?) which also looks gorgeous. I "walked" around there for a good 10 minutes.

During the film I had about 25 frozen mini sausage rolls from Tesco. Decent. They get a 8/10 and were undoubtedly the highlight.

The film gets 5 Daniel Mays massive gormless face out of 10.

I always forget who hates Mays on here. Is it Chokey? Someone alert him and tell him to avoid. 

Big admin week at home this week so will be looking to get back into the Hallmark bollox. Maybe by the time I watch It's A Wonderful Life on Xmas Eve, I'll wake from my fever dream, or try to do myself in like Jimmy Stewart

[Devon Malcolm]

14 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

I always forget who hates Mays on here. Is it Chokey? Someone alert him and tell him to avoid.

I do, but @Astro Hollywood does more, to amusingly psychotic lengths.

[SuperBacon]

Baking All The Way

Julia (someone from a Star Trek?) is a recipe book writer who is on the look out for the perfect Gingerbread recipe, because her mum died before she got the recipe. I think? (I am still working you know)

Kris owns a small family run bakery and his busybody old bitch of a mum (she really is an insufferable twat) and Kris' daughter (equally annoying) send Julia some samples and she goes off to see if she can publish the recipe.

No she can't, as of course Kris, used to make these with his DEAD WIFE and doesn't want to give it up.

Julia says that if she can increase the sales of the bakery by 50% by Christmas can she have the recipe? "Yeah go on then" didn't love your DEAD WIFE that much then Kris eh?

Within minutes this was looking like another chore, but look who's popped up again!

The absolute boy Colin Mochrie. He plays the owner of the B&B Julia is staying at, and has much more to do than his turn in Fir Crazy.

He comes storming out with a plunger "Roy is never staying here again!", he tells us "Stressed is dessert backwards, so have enough dessert and you'll never be stressed" and in the funniest scene in the movie is startled while listening to what looks like the world's biggest Walkman and spins around and screams "I know kung-fu"

Every scene with him in is pure gold.

Anyway, Julia comes up with the 12 Treats Of Christmas campaign for the bakery (hilariously the "genius" daughter designs a poster for it which doesn't actually have the bakery name on it, the little idiot) and Kris relents and gives Julia the recipe when it's a big hit.

There is some small bit of tension when she has to go back to Chicago and he thinks she's doing a runner with his recipe, but they end up together and all is well in whatever small town they live in in Wisconsin (no "travelling" today, I didn't catch the name of the place)

This was OK really, and you could do a lot worse than have it on in the background. Kris (an actor who has appeared in 150 odd episodes of something called The Murdoch Mysteries) is pretty good, but does look like John Barrowman mixed with Ray Liotta and a cat, and Cory Lee as Julia is quite likeable too.

Mochrie elevates this to the highest Hallmark level you can get (6) and should be in all of these, or at least one called Who's Line Is It Merry-way? or something (sorry)

One thing: they say the word Gingerbread an incredible amount of times in this film. I didn't count (as I'm not a psycho 😬) but I genuinely reckon it might have been nearly 500 times. Every other word is Gingerbread. 

6 Gingerbread houses out of 10.

Lastly, to keep with the theme of the film, I don't know if any of you saw the lad last year who took his whole family to see the dancing Gingerbread man on the freezer displays at the supermarket, but he's back and it's the most wholesome thing ever. 

THERE HE GO!

[SuperBacon]

On 11/28/2023 at 12:52 PM, cobra_gordo said:

Can highly recommend Angels Sing. Crap but I've been made to sit through it so many times I'm now a fan. Christmas-hating Harry Connick Jr buys a house of Willie Nelson in an area mysteriously filled with country music artists who attempt to bully him in to the festive spirit. Much singing ensues.

This has been on in the background this morning.

Far from a good film, but there's enough star power to pull it through, and I've always liked Connie Britton. Always good to see Willie Nelson as well, and he's still alive! (One for the "Thought they were dead" thread)

And this legend turns up!

Janice's sleepy boyfriend! Turk Pipkin, what a name.

Speaking of names, this film stars Chandler Canterbury, Fionnula Flanagan, Lyle Lovett, Kris Kristofferson, Ariel Abshire and Brennan Barker. That's some impressive alliterative casting!

5 Willies out of 10.

[cobra_gordo]

Now get forced to watch it 6 more times and slowly but surely develop a fondness for their weird version of the 12 Days Of Christmas.