Confession.

[Jonny Vegas]

Inspired by the Fesshole twitter page it got me thinking about things people had confessed to me over the years.

I thought it might be a fun thread for people to confess some of their own unconvential, unusual or otherwise different habits, behaviours or otherwise.

It doesn't have to be one of your own, it can also be something others have confessed to you.

Both of my initial examples are actually other people's told to me by ex work colleague's;

1. A male work colleague told me that in his entire adult life, he had at no time taken a shit outside of his own house with the exception of hotels he was staying in whilst on holiday or otherwise.

His reason for this was that his arse was covever by so much thick black hair that he needed to wash it in the shower after every shite and he once sent me a photo of his arse hair trimmings on the floor in his bathroom as proof of the amount.

His bathroom looked like a barber shop floor.

2. I once walked into the lunch room at work to see a colleague hunched over the bin picking at chips in a polystyrene container still within said bin.

It was very awkward but they immediately made a point of explaining that the chips were in a sealed container so what they were eating wasn't actually touching the contents of the bin.

I was worried incase there were any financial reasons behind it (despite being aware he had a big house, very nice car and he certainly didn't appear obviously struggling I didn't know what might be going on) so tried to as delicately as possible ask did they want me to bring some extra in as I always made too much food and ended up with mountains of extra portions bagged in the freezer until I threw it away.

He happily explained he didn't need to eat out of the bin but did so regularly so long as the containers were sealed or they were in the bin inside another carrier bag for example.

I still follow him on Instagram and he's in Florida with his wife and kids every summer and Dubai with them every Christmas so it still doesn't appear to have been due to an inability to afford his own food.

 

 

Edited February 27 by Jonny Vegas

[SuperBacon]

This will not end well.

[Tommy!]

I sit the wrong way around on the quality street tin when I take a shit in my pink vest. 

[westlondonmist]

1 hour ago, Jonny Vegas said:

Inspired by the Fesshole twitter page it got me thinking about things people had confessed to me over the years.

I thought it might be a fun thread for people to confess some of their own unconvential, unusual or otherwise different habits, behaviours or otherwise.

It doesn't have to be one of your own, it can also be something others have confessed to you.

Both of my initial examples are actually other people's told to me by ex work colleague's;

1. A male work colleague told me that in his entire adult life, he had at no time taken a shit outside of his own house with the exception of hotels he was staying in whilst on holiday or otherwise.

His reason for this was that his arse was covever by so much thick black hair that he needed to wash it in the shower after every shite and he once sent me a photo of his arse hair trimmings on the floor in his bathroom as proof of the amount.

His bathroom looked like a barber shop floor.

2. I once walked into the lunch room at work to see a colleague hunched over the bin picking at chips in a polystyrene container still within said bin.

It was very awkward but they immediately made a point of explaining that the chips were in a sealed container so what they were eating wasn't actually touching the contents of the bin.

I was worried incase there were any financial reasons behind it (despite being aware he had a big house, very nice car and he certainly didn't appear obviously struggling I didn't know what might be going on) so tried to as delicately as possible ask did they want me to bring some extra in as I always made too much food and ended up with mountains of extra portions bagged in the freezer until I threw it away.

He happily explained he didn't need to eat out of the bin but did so regularly so long as the containers were sealed or they were in the bin inside another carrier bag for example.

I still follow him on Instagram and he's in Florida with his wife and kids every summer and Dubai with them every Christmas so it still doesn't appear to have been due to an inability to afford his own food.

 

 

The tightest people I know are wealthy, I suppose that's how they stay wealthy, or one of the reasons. 

I worked with this woman, her and her husband were into dogging. She would come in and tell people about her escapades. It was really weird, luckily the floor had a couple of hundred people on it so I could usually stay away. I never understood why you would tell everyone in the office. 

 

[RIDDUM_N_STYLE]

I had a customer like that in my first job in a bingo hall, well into her 60s, who thought nothing of telling all the staff about her recent sexual exploits.
 

The first Christmas I was there, she bought me and a female colleague, both the youngest staff there, really awkward Christmas presents, I got a plastic bag filled with Smirnoff Ice, based on me mentioning that I occasionally drank them at family occasions while my friend got lingerie which the older staff thought was highly inappropriate 

[LaGoosh]

12 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

This will not end well.

If I remember correctly we had a similar thread years ago which was absolutely horrendous. Pretty sure someone admitted to incest and that wasn't even the worst of it.

[RedRooster]

12 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

This will not end well.

Absolutely true. 

I met Mark Francois once, and found him to be fairly likeable. This was pre-Brexit, and before he was well known. Even so, this is my shame and my burden. 

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

6 minutes ago, LaGoosh said:

Pretty sure someone admitted to incest

I didn't know David Walliams posted here. 

[Hannibal Scorch]

15 hours ago, RIDDUM_N_STYLE said:

I got a plastic bag filled with Smirnoff Ice,

I bet that made a huge mess. Would have been nice if she had left them in the bottles.

[Frankie Crisp]

7 hours ago, LaGoosh said:

If I remember correctly we had a similar thread years ago which was absolutely horrendous. Pretty sure someone admitted to incest and that wasn't even the worst of it.

It was someone shagging their cousin at a family funeral, wasn’t it? I know I’ve got sweet tin and vomit history on here, but we’ve had some proper bad ones come up. The Gatso confession being at the top, the vile piece of shit.

[Joe Blog]

55 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

I bet that made a huge mess. Would have been nice if she had left them in the bottles.

This has reminded of my uni days. I went to the union with some mates and they were offering a deal for a bucket of bud, 5 bottles for 8 quid or such with the bottles served on ice in a bucket. 
 

I asked the lad for the 5 bottles in a bucket deal and he looked a bit confused but said no worries. I was chatting to my mates when the lad returned with an ice bucket and the contents of 5 bottles of bud poured into it. Haunted me for a long time that did. 

[Devon Malcolm]

You'd like to think the previous threads of this nature have outed all the sex pests and problematic weirdos that UKFF has to offer but the next few days of this thread are going to be a nervous wait, even so.

[Spud]

I want to read and don’t want to read in equal measures. This is the Schrödinger’s cat of threads.

It’s also ironic that I just wrote “Schrödinger’s scat” before editing.

[Hugh Thesz]

5 hours ago, Frankie Crisp said:

It was someone shagging their cousin at a family funeral, wasn’t it? I know I’ve got sweet tin and vomit history on here, but we’ve had some proper bad ones come up. The Gatso confession being at the top, the vile piece of shit.

Was that the cunt who admitted to raping someone?

[Keith Houchen]

5 minutes ago, Hugh Thesz said:

Was that the cunt who admitted to raping someone?

Yep.