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Saint Nicko’s Christmas/Humbug 2022 thread


Fatty Facesitter

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Merry Christmas Everyone by Shakey has always been my favourite but the video is decidedly sinister. Shakey and a creepy Santa go to a party of little kids where they are the only adults. Apart from later when a snowman comes alive that’s more befitting Halloween than Christmas, such is his eerie face. The only other adult involved is a woman they’ve brainwashed into delivering them to this terrible scene via sleigh. Some of the faces and body language on Stevens are really creepy when he’s allowed to touch kids. If I was Tommy Brown, he’d never play for Fulchester again.

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20 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Maybe you just didn't see anything.

Nah, you're just a prick, just ignored it, it doesn't interest me. I certainly don't remember anything of yours, maybe you have some ok opinions on James Bond, thats about it. Other than that you're just a prick.

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5 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

While this speaks volumes to us, here, I have a cousin who did and he’s 20 next year. 

I generally ignore any advancements in fields other than Football and technology since I removed Radio 1 from my car radio’s presets in 2010.

But genuinely, Elf on a Shelf is one of those things I’ve heard discussed without having a clue what it was meant to be.

Edited by garynysmon
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2 hours ago, stewdogg said:

Nah, you're just a prick, just ignored it, it doesn't interest me. I certainly don't remember anything of yours, maybe you have some ok opinions on James Bond, thats about it. Other than that you're just a prick.

That wasn't very Christmassy Blank Template - Imgflip

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7 hours ago, garynysmon said:

A million times this.

 

I got taught about this in the manner of “how do you not know elf on the shelf” about five years ago by a girl aged about 24 at the time. I was dumbfounded and assumed it was a generation gap thing.

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Sorry for the double post but I need a Humbug moment on my mild irritation at newer Christmas songs. It’s such an obvious “just because you didn’t grow up with them” thing but, they’re just not Christmas.

I mean… I don’t hate that Darkness one about not letting Bell Ends do something, half as much as many (or the Darkness in general) but it’s bizarre to me to wonder if people ten years my junior consider it as big a part of their Christmas as I do Slade or Wizzard. As for the rest…. there’s a real sense of theft about most of the ones coming around on an Apple playlist that Mrs raid keeps putting on. Kelly Clarksons lifted pretty strongly from Mariah in both tempo, tone and lyrical content. Ariana Grande has basically written Santa Baby again but reworked into her own vulnerable sex kitten style. In writing Christmas Lights the ever dreary Chris Martin tries to recreate the feeling of “actually Christmas can be depressing” that Fairytale of New York captured even if the forms of the two songs have little in common - I’m not convinced it was accidental. I mean, I know everyone from Darlene Love to Andy Williams to Brenda Lee to Bobby Helms also liberally stole the essence of older Christmas songs to create theirs but… they get a nostalgia pass.

There’s plenty more rubbish - Sia mumbling about a snowman like she has a mouthful of socks, Leona Lewis caterwauling about “sleeps” like a Facebook 12 year old, Sam Smith singing. But worst of all without doubt is the Elton John/Sheeran mutation. I’ve long resisted a rant about Elton in Minor Annoyances because I hate his happiness to bastardize his own back catalogue - in recent memory alone he’s allowed Britney Spears and Dua Lipa to cannibalise three of his songs into two drastically inferior works and that’s just off the top of my head, and this time of year I’m forced to remember that having the lovely Step Into Christmas next to his name wasn’t enough, he had to team up with bloody Sheeran. And speaking of which….

On 11/30/2022 at 11:46 AM, air_raid said:

Song lyrics that refer, explicitly or implicitly, to the pandemic. Mrs raid likes "Bam Bam" by Camila Cabello and I turn inside out cringing every time Sheeran moans "It's been a hell of a year, thank God we made it out." YEAH MATE defo. So original.

“I know there’s been pain this year, but it’s time to let it go.”

Oh, fuck off. Just fuck off. People writing song lyrics about covid has done far more lasting damage to my mental health than actual covid. Just fuck off and let me eat my Terrys Chocolate Orange and enjoy putting antlers on the dog without reminding me what a shitty time it was.

Of course, I’m proud to admit I’m a hypocrite and still happily belt out “FEEEEEEEEED THE WOOOOOOORRRLD” as though it’s a proper party anthem and not in fact an ode to starving kids.

Merry Christmas.

Edited by air_raid
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