The Smackers Thread

[Mr_Danger]

Well, in an ideal world Logan sky dives bollock first on to a rusty barbed wire fence but in terms of making news and the two being culturally relevant I could definitely see them using Cena to cement Paul as a top heel and not just a side attraction at some point. “Of course you can’t see him, I retired him!” Etc.

I imagine WWE will do something a bit more grand to send him on his way as I’m not sure putting someone over on your way our fits in to the modern WWE ethos but you never know.

[Hannibal Scorch]

Work or shoot?

 

[JLM]

There’s been some chat about that in the NXT thread, as that’s where poor Corey finds himself these days. 

[Supremo]

The entire UKFF, giving Corey a patronising pat on the back as we demote him to the NXT thread.

[Chili]

He strikes me as the type of guy who gets a lot of eye rolls behind his back does Corey Graves.

Did Punk 'Cabana' him? ?

[air_raid]

54 minutes ago, Chili said:

Did Punk 'Cabana' him? ?

Short answer, yes.

[d-d-d-dAz]

It's very funny that someone at WWE has tried to do him a kindness with that messaging, and he's still had a Malakai Black-esque moody Karen social strop.

"Come on lads, it's Corey. Let's not tell him that he's just not as good as these celebrity day trippers. Can we just say it's their fame level and that's what the networks want? He won't be happy but surely it's better than the alternative?"

[Mr_Danger]

Pat McAfee’s excited whites line is better than Graves entire body of work.

[Supremo]

“B-Fab vs. Piper Niven..stay with us, after the break!”

I don’t think you could come up with a better sentence to sum up these three hour episodes of Smackdown. Bloated, filler bollocks, with sprinkles of what used to make Smackdown my favourite show of the week. Thankfully, it’s been reported Smackdown will be returning to two hours in the Spring, but fuck me it can’t come soon enough!

It also doesn’t help that whilst you’re sitting there like a whopper, actually waiting for B-Fab vs. Piper Niven like you’ve been told to, you’ve got to sit through those haunting Netflix idents during the advert breaks, where Nia Jax stares directly into your soul and makes you question everything you’ve ever done.

“Look at how you’re living your life, you fucking loser!”

What’s more, considering they have all this extra TV time to fill, have the Motor City Machine Guns ever actually said anything beyond short generic soundbites? Seems mad to have a new act with so much experience being hilarious on camera, yet they never get a chance to show it. Shelley in particular. Fly in Nash to be his manager! They’ll sell at least 30,000 tickets! (That night).

Speaking of, this was Jacob Fatu’s night. Genuinely thrilling when Solo stormed off and Jacob took over on the mic. Felt like when The Rock took over from Farooq. There’s the proper star! Lad’s got it all!

It also helps massively that Jacob has put on some serious Christmas timber. It’s the endless boxes of Celebrations and Heroes, isn’t it Jacob? Gets us all.

I’ve been watching loads of mid-90s WWE recently, during the steroid trial, when the only big guys they could use was fatties, and you realise what a lost art it is. Great to see Jacob morphing into one. Only helps his look and aura though. Get the chippy teas in! The more he eats, the scarier and more dangerous he becomes. Like Brian Harvey eating jacket potatoes.

Strowman vs. Fatu and Sheamus vs. Breakker on the same show?! Delicious. Saturday Night’s Main Event is now can’t miss!

I wonder if they have something surprising for this Naomi/Bianca/Jade thing. It seems almost too obvious that Naomi is going to be revealed as the culprit. They wouldn’t pull the switcheroo and have Bianca turn heel, would they? Has she ever played heel? She’s so ridiculously likeable, I can’t even imagine it!

Given Jade’s form this last year or so, maybe they’ll finally release the CCTV and it’ll turn out that no-one attacked Jade. She was just practicing springboards backstage and landed like this.

Mysterio declaring for The Rumble and them selling it as the most star-studded of all time is brilliant. It almost feels a waste at this point to put someone like Joe Hendry in. I bet Shawn Spears can’t even get a reply to his e-mails asking if he can go in at Number Ten again. No space for jobbers or jokers this year, unfortunately!

By contrast, has a single Woman made a single reference to the Women’s Rumble match yet? Is it even happening? You’d honestly not know watching the show. Must be extra shit for women and black wrestlers, being in a company this hot, yet still getting shafted weekly.

A great night for our Undisputed Champion Kevin Owens. Spectacular T-shirts. Clever little promo where he once again refused to say Sami’s name. Fun match with Mysterio, then a white hot brawl with Cody. All with the added bonus of Big Joe Tess losing his mind at the desk. I love it!

Charlotte Flair vignette! I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Fully expecting the same insanely inconsistent Charlotte she’s always been though. Genuinely impressive how she can quite easily have Best and Worst Match of the Year candidates. Sometimes within weeks of the other.

Bizarrely booked main event that got the reaction it deserved. Tiffy, coming off a huge babyface reaction for cashing in, plays heel, against Bayley, the hometown hero, only she’s one of the worst babyfaces on the roster. Poor crowd didn’t seem to have a clue how to react, ending up waving their phone lights out of boredom. Sold out building and the silence was defeating. You could hear Jacob Fatu in the back, smashing in the last of his Quality Street.

If nothing else, this should be the final straw for this awful Bayley babyface run. What a colossal failure. A massive open goal for her to revert back to The Hugger character, with the music and the Bayley Buddies, but she never really changes anything. The rubbish heel music remained. The dickhead, “Role Model,” nickname remained. She continued doing the obnoxious laugh. Terrible on every level.

But yeah. Kevin Owens. What a great, great man. Just look at this sell, after getting his head smashed into the guardrail in front of Rey’s daughter. Incredible.

It goes without saying, but I’ll be supporting Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens in their respective matches at The Rumble. It’s happening! It’s their density!

Edited January 18, 2025 by Supremo

[RedTwoster]

I wasn’t a fan of last week’s show, but this week, I had a great time with Smackdown. I’m not sure how it would sit at as a Friday Night show for me, but it was perfect Saturday morning wrestling for my tastes.

Firstly, huge credit to Joe Tessitore. If the UKFF Awards had a best newcomer prize, he’d deserve to win it by a country mile. He and Barrett are the best WWE announce team in years, they work brilliantly together and Tessitore does a great job by pointing out things that would have had Vince McMahon screaming into his headset - but things that enhance the show. Pointing out that ‘Mello does indeed miss, and that the things that helped him succeed in NXT weren’t working here, for example. Creating stories and generally making the show better.

The Solo Sikoa angle was interesting, and I’m assuming he’s going to turn babyface sooner rather than later, with an unhinged Fatu turning on him…and talking of Fatu, I wasn’t interested in watching SNME…then they announced Fatu/Strowman. Yes times 1000 to that. I can’t wait!

I agree with @Supremo on the men’s tag division. It’s not a compliment when I say I’m more invested in the women’s tag division right now. It’s mad that the tag titles main events Wrestlemania not that long ago, yet they feel so flat. And it’s not like they don’t have the talent. Alex Shelley has shown how wildly entertaining he can be in the past. Ciampa can be a tremendous heel, and Pretty Deadly have it in them to be enjoyable. Give the teams time to show who they are, rather than simply wrestle matches to silence - and give them more than the dull backstage segments that they’re getting.

I still hate Tiffany Stratton. ‘Tiffstory’ is the worst thing WWE has broadcast since the Vince McMahon era. Any time she speaks I end up hitting fast-forward. I’m assuming she’s staying heel to face Charlotte at Wrestlemania - a match I’d like to see, in spite of finding Stratton as a character as grating as I do. She’s comparable to Mercedes Mone in AEW for me. Great matches, horrible segments.

And as a result…I enjoyed the main event. And the Owens/Mysterio match - it’s pretty wild that they’d never wrestled one-on-one before. 

Overall, for me, a fun show. I’m looking forward to the return to 2-hours, but I enjoyed Smackdown quite a lot this week.

Oh, and Chelsea Green continues to be one of the best characters in wrestling.

[Mr_Danger]

I don’t have to watch three hours of wrestling to know “Canadian Dream Son of a Security Systems Technician” is the greatest T-shirt line ever.

[Mr_Danger]

.

Edited January 18, 2025 by Mr_Danger

[Captain SlackBladder]

7 hours ago, Supremo said:

You could hear Jacob Fatu in the back, smashing in the last of his Quality Street.

Ah man, this tipped me over. Proper lols.

 

Jakey Boy is amazing, knows exactly what he's doing and has been stealing the show for months. 

 

The future tribal chief in my opinion. 

[FLips]

Three hours is so long, especially with a crowd this dead.

Can't wait for SNME with Fatu vs Strowman, what a clash that'll be.

Not much worth seeing on this show. Owens vs Rey was a decent TV match but the rest of the card didn't thrill me. What did I ever do in this world to deserve 3 hometown hero Bayley shows back to back in a week? She's not even over in her hometown, and that main event was a shocking detriment to both acts.

[DavidB6937]

I LOVE YOU JACOB.

And KO. What a man. Just brilliant at every aspect of everything.

The rest was there.