The Smackers Thread

[DavidB6937]

Everyone hang in there!

 

 

[Supremo]

You could one hundred percent smell what The Rock was cooking watching last night. A long week of stressing everyone out, re-writing shows, killing Mania directions, and ultimately burning everyone’s heads out. This show felt like it was written by an exhausted, shellshocked creative team that either couldn’t be arsed, or were convinced The Rock would turn up twenty minutes before doors opened to piss over everything. You know in Jurassic Park where the T-Rex can’t see you if you don’t move? The Rock can’t ruin a good show if you don’t bother writing one.

A completely low-effort, no-energy, nothing-happening episode. Even within the fiction, it was like those in power couldn’t be bothered. The same trope all night long. Of the six matches Nick Aldis had on his show, four of them were impromptu matches that he announced to counteract people bickering or scrapping with one another. Both Tag matches, the Women’s Four Way, and then the main event. Nick was lucky all these situations arose! With a three hour international TV show to run, and the first Smackdown on Netflix, he went to air with only the Men’s and Women’s US Title matches planned. Could have been a disaster!

The only thing of any note was Heyman announcing Roman for the Royal Rumble, which instantly made it feel big time. Is that Cena, Punk and Roman all declared? Maybe The Rock too, if the day comes and he fancies ruining everything again.

They might need to extend the time between entrances though. Two minutes isn’t going to be long enough for Roman to do his Emmy-award-deserving slow motion walking, with a smattering of jaw adjustments.

Assuming we can now lock in Roman vs. Punk for Mania, I think it’s time we break some hearts, Dalton Castle-style. It should be for the belt. Either Roman or Punk should be winning the Rumble, with the other defeating Gunther in the meantime.

I know people will cry about it. Especially that one lad on here obsessed with Gunther and the World Title, but just like when Goldberg beat Kevin Owens and The Fiend leading into Mania, people can moan all they want but business is business. It’s the Big Show, where the Big Boys Play, where the Big Belt should be on the line. Roman vs. Punk should be for the belt. Give Gunther Goldberg’s retirement match or something instead. Bret Hart in his corner.

Edited January 11, 2025 by Supremo

[d-d-d-dAz]

Yeah, I agree with @Supremo. That entire show felt like a companies attempt to just calm everything down after a (brahma) bull had run through the china shop, made a mess and took a shit in the corner.

I don't know there's enough heat to get New Bloodline through to Mania in their current form. I'd give the tag lads and Solo a rest, and do something different with Jacob (which they seem to have started with Jacob, to be fair). Seeing them in the opening segment, and Cody and Jimmy back fucking around with the Tonga lad again is just deflating.

It's Bocelli time lads. Time to say goodbye.

 

Edited January 11, 2025 by d-d-d-dAz

[RedTwoster]

Smackdown was a solid 2-hour show, stretched over 3-hours. The ludicrously lengthy Raw recap to open illustrated that perfectly. 

I’m glad the 3-hour format is only temporary. Smackdown needs a new central storyline. After being reliant on The Bloodline for so long, the show needs to determine what the next big plot line is - an Owens-led alliance to take out the people who made the Bloodline possible could be it, as could a Cody heel turn. Whatever the case, they need something and it felt to me like they’re treading water right now until that happens. Perhaps they need to, as Rock hums and haws over whether or not he participates at Wrestlemania, preventing them from moving forward in the way they would have otherwise.

[d-d-d-dAz]

I tell you two things I did like;

1) "He wasn't using his inside voice, so I threw his ass outside" is a great line.

2) My boy Jacob has clearly lost the diet sheet Papa H gave him before his debut. He's getting thicker by the second. It's good stuff.

[TheScarlettChad]

Yeah reading the results...god, I hope it's just one bad week. Roman qualifying for The Rumble is good though. First time in give years he'll have competed in The Rumble match. 

[RedTwoster]

1 hour ago, TheScarlettChad said:

Yeah reading the results...god, I hope it's just one bad week. Roman qualifying for The Rumble is good though. First time in give years he'll have competed in The Rumble match. 

I’m calling it now - the final four will be Cena, Reigns, Punk and The Rock.

[SuperBacon]

2 minutes ago, RedTwoster said:

I’m calling it now - the final four will be Cena, Reigns, Punk and The Rock.

That would be fantastic. 

[RedTwoster]

4 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

That would be fantastic. 

With it being Cena’s final Rumble, I can’t imagine them not making the most of it. They could have Cena come out early and, as the match progresses, face off against a variety of classic foes throughout; making him the story of the match - but given that he’s not wrestled full-time for a while, that would be asking a lot of him - so I reckon it’s likely that we’ll have a star-studded finishing sequence, perhaps subbing Rock for Orton or Logan Paul, if he’s not involved.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

I tried to watch Smacky-D but I found the blank ring canvas so off-putting. I instead listened to the collected works if Anthony Costa, Lee Ryan, Simon Webb and Duncan James. 

[Guest]

24 minutes ago, RedTwoster said:

I’m calling it now - the final four will be Cena, Reigns, Punk and The Rock.

I'll go further, although I don't think Rock will be in the final four.The final two will be Punk and Cena, with Punk eliminating Cena 

[FLips]

@RedTwosterhit the nail on the head, it was a solid 2 hour show stretched to 3.

It’s the first Smackdown I’ve watched on a Saturday morning in full on the telly since I was a teenager watching on Sky One and sometimes with those Raw rewinds, adverts and a JBL title reign it felt like a 2 hour show stretched to 5 so I was much more forgiving of this.

Really enjoyed the show-long thread of people getting involved in each other’s business with LA Knight/Bloodline/Cody/Heyman/Owens. That end table crash spot left me happy like it would have back in the day.

The Women’s divisions feels strong. Bayley is still a rubbish promo and Piper Niven looked awful, like a middle aged mam off to the bingo that got into a scrap in the car park. Other than that though you feel genuine starpower off the likes of Naomi, Belair and Tiffany Stratton. 

The tag division feels stale even coming in lapsed. A-Town Down Under are awful, MCMG are well past their prime and look haggered, DIY have lost their NXT good will. I did really like Pretty Deadly though, the division desperately needs more characters than it does blokes in trunks.

Great show to put on in the background while I play Marble Madness and Ducktales on the NES, and it was lovely to have that ease of access and no adverts.

[Snitsky's back acne]

2 hours ago, d-d-d-dAz said:

 

2) My boy Jacob has clearly lost the diet sheet Papa H gave him before his debut. He's getting thicker by the second. It's good stuff.

Cleaned up for obvious reasons but, to quote Pulp Fiction re: Jacob Fatu:

'Fat guy, right?'

'I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat, I mean what's he gonna do, he's Samoan?'

 

 

 

[Callum1993]

1 hour ago, RedTwoster said:

I’m calling it now - the final four will be Cena, Reigns, Punk and The Rock.

You just know it’s going to be Rollins instead of The Rock. 

[DavidB6937]

It was absolutely the opposite of everything they tried to do on Raw and I was okay with that. I'd say I enjoyed this more and it felt like an easier watch. Was it the best episode ever? Of course not, and there was nothing on there that I'd rush back to ever watch but for something to watch while on a Saturday morning it felt just fine. A generally safe episode.

But yeah, they'll need to settle on a strong direction for Mania soon enough and I guess that'll come at the Rumble.

Not sure if they'll go for another "big story" type deal like the Bloodline but arguably with the way Heyman has talked about it before we've still got something left there. Not sure how they can carry it on with any great strength to it though.