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The Smackers Thread


PowerButchi

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Astonishing that Cena wasn’t even featured on this show. Two weeks left before the big dream match and instead of cutting promos on each other you’ve got people discussing the legalities of a dumb contract angle.

Bring on the sale of this company. Whoever buys it, I’m convinced they’ll do a better job. We’ve already seen how a scrawny geek with an Observer subscription can smoke their creative. But honestly, I’d expect the same from anyone who’s lived a relatively normal, human existence. Two big stars fighting at the PPV? We should probably get them to talk about how they think they’re going to win, yeah?

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Obviously it wasn’t a patch on Rampage, because of course, but I thought this was easily the best show they’ve done since crowds came back. Mainly because - you know - some people fighting at the pay per view actually cut some fucking promos on each other.

That opening promo with Cena and Roman though. What a bizarre segment.  I can’t stop thinking about it. The delivery was excellent, the aura of both men is undeniable, but the content? Whew. What the fuck is going on in their writing room? Somewhere there’s CCTV footage of them writing up this segment and it’s the most fascinating WWE Network documentary that we’ll never see.

The meat and potatoes, “I’m better than you,” and, “I’m going to beat you,” stuff was great, but the way it kept veering into that bonkers, “I’m gonna tell a better story than you,” and, “I’m the best story-teller,” was fully mental. I know pro-wrestling exists in this weird nudge-nudge-wink-wink realm where we all accept it for being a load of silly nonsense but when the participants within the show itself are bragging about telling the best stories? Makes my head melt.

Never a good sign when the two most memorable lines that got the biggest reactions are references to CM Punk and Dean Ambrose, either. Classic GOTTEN TO WWE style. Try and act like you’re above it all and aren’t worried by desperately banging on and bringing attention to the competition. Like a mate who’s split up with his girlfriend but doesn’t care, and proves he doesn’t care by endlessly bringing her up because he doesn’t care anymore, you know? Never again can anyone slag off AEW for cheeky references to WWE on their YouTube shows when a promo on WWE‘a flagship show, building up the main event of Summerslam, between two of their biggest stars ever, was more interested in talking about people in the other company.

More important than all this is though is Baron Corbin, who’s easily the best thing in the company right now. And just when you think it can’t get better? Pat McAfee commentating on Baron Corbin. What a perfect combination. The way he kept calling him, “Bum-Ass Corbin,” made me laugh so much. Corbin nicking the briefcase is also the best cliffhanger since CM Punk at Money in the Bank 2011. Genuinely can’t wait to see what happens next.

Also, is it just me, or have they calmed down considerably on the fake crowd noise? Maybe they’ve just gotten better at mixing it in but it wasn’t half as jarring as it has been.

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The Corbin stuff honestly just put a smile on my face. I can't believe how much I'm enjoying him.

And yes I know most people hate Seth Rollins but I thought even his promo worked pretty well and I strangely enjoy watching him dance to his own entrance.

Banks/Belair has a much needed edge to it which is great.

I'm desperate for them to change things up in the tag division though. I think they've only got 5 teams and as good as they all are, we definitely need some new ones after Summerslam.

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Corbin being better than Reigns and Cena is such a 2021 thing, isn't it. 

I too was perplexed watching this. It's rubbish. As I've said before, I don't mind the real life references compared to most of you, but give them a bit of rhythm and reason.

Cena's main angle is that Roman is a protected product of the system who gets put over by the WWE WrestleMania after WrestleMania. So err...like John Cena? 

Roman Reigns main angle is...I don't know. What is it? "I don't really mind you John, and your wife left you LOL!" 

Even Heyman doesn't look too arsed, and that's saying a lot. Both guys are acting like it's a complete novelty match, and that they'll hit up the nearest steakhouse together straight after the PPV. Reigns still flubs his words around Cena, and Cena as good as says "I'm back for a quickie to play my old self because they had fuck all else going on."

What a stinker. 

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8 minutes ago, Statto said:

The thing I found clunky was that Cena talked about Reigns being endlessly pushed/protected by WWE, but then stated that WWE asked Cena to come back to put Reigns in his place?

Well Vince brought in the NWO to kill WWE before. And Cena's part of the NWO now so it's actually great continuity on their part. Or yeah it doesn't make much sense at all.

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What I didn't get was the "It's Romans fault Dean Ambrose left WWE" spiel. 

Can someone explain to me how that's the case in either "kayfabe" or reality. The line made no sense and as for the reference to winning the belt and  blowing him a kiss goodbye. I wonder how many casuals that don't give an arse about the backstage stuff put CM Punk into their Google and realised that next Friday something really interesting is happening that isn't going to be on Smackdown. 

Also, this obsession with the missionary position in their promos is getting creepy. Get a room guys. Tbf I'm rooting for them to hook up more than I was Indi and Dexter Lumis

Edited by Tsurutagun
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Well they've been happily uploading some of Punk's big SummerSlam matches on YouTube all week so they're clearly not as militant about that weird blacklist stuff as they used to be. The algorithm is probably a bigger bottom line for them now. Punk in AEW will get them a few million hits on their own archive content. 

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Is Cena’s new catchphrase 1, 2, 3? He just kept saying through the promo. I hope he smashes Roman just because I feel it’s become stale and boring when, just a year ago m, it felt fresh and exciting. It’s gone massively downhill in my opinion.

Edited by Hannibal Scorch
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32 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Is Cena’s new catchphrase 1, 2, 3? He just kept saying through the promo. I hope he smashes Roman just because I feel it’s become stale and boring when a year ago it felt fresh and exciting it’s gone massively down in my opinion.

What would the point be in him smashing Roman? Who does that benefit?

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12 minutes ago, Supremo said:

What would be the point in Goldberg smashing Brock? Who does that benefit?

Yep. Very basic simplification and comparison. Who did that benefit in the long run? Great moment in isolation for sure. Nice surprise. But we've ended up with Goldberg a number of times a year since and everyone's shitting on him.

Where do you go from Cena smashing through Roman? What does Cena do? How do you rebuild Roman after investing the last year in transforming him and putting him over everyone only to have a part timer come in and dominate him? I'm curious.

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Roman shouldn’t lose to anybody until Big E cashes in Money in the Bank in the main event of Wrestlemania and wins the title.

But it won’t happen. He’ll cash in after a match on some pointless B PPV and lose it back a month later I reckon.

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