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Who is the least cool person on the planet?

Gus Mears

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Was having this discussion in the pub yesterday and no one was able to top the following:


Jools Holland sits atop my list. It's one thing just being naturally uncool, but Jools Holland tries so desperately to be anything other than the massive spod he so clearly is, it helps propel him past your run of the mill uncool folk like Aled Jones and Matt Baker.

I don't know how someone so intimately involved with the music business for so long manages to be as painfully lame as Jools Holland is, but he somehow manages it.

Who is your choice and why?

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Don't know how anyone could look past Aha! It's Michael Owen. The least footballery footballer ever, no bad thing, but someone who doesn't swear, is clearly massively socially awkward and doesn't even watch films.  To call him vanilla would be a disservice to anything vanilla. He's plain dry white Happy Shopper bread at best. If his one redeeming feature is he doesn't dress like a pleb it's only because his wife/mum bought and ironed all his clothes for him.

Chris Evans is close too though.


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Clarkson and Holmes would never profess to having an ounce of cool though. Clarkson even had that running gag that anything he liked was automatically uncool. For me, the most uncool people are the ones who are completely oblivious to their uncoolness. So Evans can drive his vintage cars and hang around with rock stars all he likes he'll always be less cool than a Clarkson or Holmes. 

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