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Who is the least cool person on the planet?


Gus Mears

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Chris Jericho's got to be up there. I'm going purely on a try-hard scale. Tattoos in your late 40s of album covers is tragic. Cheats on the mother of his kids with ropey old women at the festivals he lip syncs at.

Andi Peters, maybe? On the opposite end of the scale, he doesnt try, but he still fails. Cant walk in a straight line without falling over. Definite asexual. Scared of dogs. When asked if he wanted a drink, once said "I dont drink alcohol" and then complained that his coke had sugar in it. Probably a nice man, but the least cool black man this side of Jermaine Jenas.

Oh, modern day Prince Naseem. Looks like he should be pulling a bell these days.

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22 minutes ago, Sergio Mendacious said:

Bombcar is a wonderful bloke, but he's also a dad joke that was struck by magical lightning and came to life.

My sister yesterday called me "a dad without a kid".

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48 minutes ago, IANdrewDiceClay said:

Ā 

Chris Jericho's got to be up there. I'm going purely on a try-hardļ»æļ»æļ»æ scale. Tattoos in your late 40s ofļ»æ album covers is tragic. Cheats ļ»æon the mother of his kids with ropey old women at the festivals ļ»æhe lip syncļ»æsļ»æ at.ļ»æ

Ā 

On his podcast with the elite, he reaches a new level of cringe and lameness when he said to the Bucks ā€œI want to be on being the elite. Pleaseā€ followed by some more pleading that sounded like Brent begging not to be made redundant.Ā 

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Hans Zimmer in one of his live gigs. Surrounded by all these hot young violinists and cellists (and sometimes Johnny Marr), it's impossible for anyone to stick out more or look less cool than Hans Zimmer playing a banjo.Ā 

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Although he did compose the "Going for gold" theme tune, which is pretty cool.Ā 

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Is being "uncool" a bad thing because i actually like my nomination?

Fred Dibnah: By his own admission was "born at least 50 years later than he would have wanted to be". Quite a boring, egotistical type of bloke, i found.

He liked: Steam Trains, wearing cloth caps, working, victorian values, beer & fags.

He Disliked: Health & safety, going on holidays, spending time with his family, the modern world, spending money (especially buying his round at the bar).

Fred nearly died (well he is dead now, but before then :D) by getting blood poisoning from his dirty cloth cap that infected a cut on his head! He survived, but it is a pretty crazy way to die, given the insane risks he took in his line of work as an old school steeple jack.

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Jamie Oliver. The man who single handily sucked all the fun out of cooking, school meals and junk food, all the while managing to pile on the pounds while bemoaning the state of UK children, his overly lame attempts at being funny on his TV shows, or that he still thinks he can be culturally cool in the continuing state of chefs on TV.

The man has also ruined cheque shirts. The bawbag.

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Russell Grant

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Every incarnation of him looks like wet confetti found outside of a church, which has since been turned in to a Pound Strecher.

Heā€™s managedĀ to convince vulnerable people, and idiots that he can speak to their dead pets on aĀ premium rate phone line, along with his horoscope bollocks. So heā€™s a pure cunt as well as uncool.

Heā€™s the kind of person that Peter Kay would create a character aboutĀ as a turn on Pheonix Nights.

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