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Jamie Oliver


Devon Malcolm

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21 minutes ago, Guy Bifkin said:

I'd definitely back Keith Floyd in a bare chested knife fight with Oliver.

 

I still would today!  There is a great clip of Floyd and Ray Gravell cooking and playing Rugby, Floyd scores an amazing try then falls over bringing the food in.  I wish I could find it but I gave up after about 15 seconds.

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Ainsley Harriott and Ken Hom would smash the shit out of Keith Floyd and I say that as a big Keith Floyd fan. 

For a start, Hom is always armed with a wok, the most dangerous of the frying pan family and I just get the feeling that Ainsley would rage the fuck out. Big guttural yells while ripping Floyd's head off.

Edited by Gus Mears
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1 hour ago, wordsfromlee said:

Got in from work today and the first thing my girlfriend said to me was how Jamie is trying to ban the 2-4-1 Domino's deal. She said that he needs to, and I quote, "get fucked by a rake". Seems fair.

Having seen how skinny his missus is, it seems he does indeed get fucked by a rake...

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1 hour ago, Gus Mears said:

Ainsley Harriott and Ken Hom would smash the shit out of Keith Floyd and I say that as a big Keith Floyd fan. 

For a start, Hom is always armed with a wok, the most dangerous of the frying pan family and I just get the feeling that Ainsley would rage the fuck out. Big guttural yells while ripping Floyd's head off.

If Ainsley starts using “WELL HELLO JILLLLL” as his catchphrase charging into pan battle, then that’s my WrestleMania main event for next year.

 

On the Oliver recipes subject, we were given his ‘5 Ingredients’ book last year and I had a go at one of the recipes in it. There were at least twice that many ingredients when you counted all the extra ones he had to hide within the recipe so the meal would fit the gimmick, the instructions were written like I already knew exactly how to make all this stuff - I do not - and a load of the ingredients he did have were so obscure none of the supermarkets in the area stocked them. I made a right hash of it because we’ve got cheap kitchen equipment that’s not up to his standards either.I quickly reverted to the trusty Mary Berry book we’ve got - those recipes ain’t flashy but dammit they’re achievable. She’s also an advocate of making more than you need and freezing the rest to use again later which saves us money in the long run. Mary > Jamie.

Though I will give him credit for having a surprisingly nice dairy free chocolate cake recipe on his website... even if it did require a 90 minute round trip in the car to track down everything required. 

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2 hours ago, Gus Mears said:

Ainsley Harriott and Ken Hom would smash the shit out of Keith Floyd and I say that as a big Keith Floyd fan. 

For a start, Hom is always armed with a wok, the most dangerous of the frying pan family and I just get the feeling that Ainsley would rage the fuck out. Big guttural yells while ripping Floyd's head off.

That's all well and good Gustav, but Keith always has at least half full bottle of wine with him. He would quickly knock back the rest and then Ken and Ainsley are getting glassed after he smashes the bottom of the bottle on Ken's wok. 

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8 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said:

if you can't afford the time or money to look after your kids maybe you shouldn't be having them...

Money wise, I was once told if you look at your finances enough and contemplate whether you can afford children, you'll never have children.

I was also told by a very wise old man, if your tongue is too big to fit your mouth and you spurt shit about sugar in drinks yet shill milkshakes to kids with a sugar content that'd make a can of Monster blush, you're a cast iron cunt.

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7 hours ago, Teedy Kay said:

Money wise, I was once told if you look at your finances enough and contemplate whether you can afford children, you'll never have children.

Yep, I often hear that one and to an extent I understand it. It's incredible how your ability to budget can change once you move out and when you have kids. You can't budget for kids, you just manage.

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Popped into a couple of charity shops this morning, and their shelves are overflowing with Jamie's books in much the way they were with Fifty Shades books last year.

I did manage to pick A Girl Named Jack though, so I'll give that a shot.

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I'm just here to say I dislike the sugar tax simply because Pepsi Co used it as an excuse to raise the price of all their drinks, including my mother fucking Pepsi Max Cherry, even though it contains no sugar!

And I also think Jamie Oliver is a cunt.

Edited by SpursRiot2012
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They haven't, have they? There's a big price difference between Pepsi Max/Max Cherry (which is the same price) and normal Pepsi. I deliberately checked when I was in our local Asda last week. Otherwise I too would've been furious.

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Just now, PunkStep said:

They haven't, have they? There's a big price difference between Pepsi Max/Max Cherry (which is the same price) and normal Pepsi. I deliberately checked when I was in our local Asda last week. Otherwise I too would've been furious.

Seems to me that they have. For example, my local shop now sells what used to be a £1.69 2l bottle of it for £2. The special offer on the smaller bottles has gone from 2 for £1.50 to 2 for £1.70. I've definitely seen an increase since the sugar tax.

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