Rey_Piste Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I went to the gym early this morning and whilst it was nice and quiet I did see a woman completely eat shit on a treadmill. She was busy on her phone and not concentrating. She obviously mis-stepped and headbutted the control panel on her way down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Drink more water. I'd stick to liquids or soft food for a few days and abit TMI but was their any blood?. If so, the straining etc might have torn something, hence why it hurts when you fart. I'd see the doctor if it keeps hurting too. Also once it's healed I'd recommend a high fibre diet free and laying off anything hard to digest. Certain food, anything rustic for example I'd avoid or keep to a minimum. Yeah there was tbh. I mean this is pretty rare for me, it's usually all good, and whilst I don't have an amazingly healthy diet, it's not too bad. In fact, I don't really eat much at all. Seems bit better today, but walking is a painful reminder! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted January 4, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2017 I've got a real bad case of the Nobby's too at present. That I can deal with, but the day before yesterday I started pissing out red and was petrified before I remembered that I had drank a beetroot, ginger and lime drink earlier. because I'm a hopeless member of the liberal-elite or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted January 4, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2017 I had drank a beetroot, ginger and lime drink earlier. Ā What the fuck is this?? You have some explaining to do here Gus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted January 4, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2017 (edited) It said 'cleansing' on it. I thought it might flush out the beef, wine and cigars that are the leaves in my guttering. All it did was turn my shit into Mick Hucknall's barnet.Ā Edited January 4, 2017 by Gus Mears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted January 4, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2017 We need to do another UKFF cleanse, but up the ante this time. Two stone of purƩed prunes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted January 4, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2017 I'm definitely up for this. I've just bought a load of Judge Dredd collections, I could do with sitting on the toilet all day.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted January 4, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2017 I don't want to shit even more. I've got stigmata of the arse as it is.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted January 4, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2017 That'sĀ Ā I'm definitely up for this. I've just bought a load of Judge Dredd collections, I could do with sitting on the toilet all day.Ā Ā That's a point ā I'm up to volume eight, but I've got three more sitting on the shelf unread, I could do with a day of shitting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 On an Idiots At Work kind of tip, this. Ā I was talking to my colleague about small community mentality, he is from Anglesey and was talking about the kind of thing we all talked about in the "Racist/Homophobic Things Relatives Have Said" thread. We were saying how it's good these things are being phased out over time as people get a better understanding of a cosmopolitan world. Ā I work for a massive construction firm and we have the maintainence contract for a few banks. He was telling me that recently, a branch in posh, leafy Knutsford was ram raided and a week later, our engineer turned up to carry out the last of the repairs to the facade. However, the staff member didn't want to let him in because she was convinced he was part of the gang who carried out the robbery. Ā Her reasoning? He was a scouser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted January 6, 2017 Moderators Share Posted January 6, 2017 She'd have been right if he was from Rhyl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted January 6, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted January 6, 2017 Yeah, a scouser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted January 6, 2017 Moderators Share Posted January 6, 2017 (edited) *Ranier Wolfcastle.jpg* Edited January 6, 2017 by PowerButchi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted January 6, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 6, 2017 So in the last two days I've been on a bus where someone left three heavily soiled sanitary towels on board, and today the local paper is reporting that two men have been arrested after a video of them bumming a dog appeared online. Hardly seems worth holding onto that crisp packet until I passed the bin the other day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted January 6, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted January 6, 2017 Not that it really matters but why were they bumming a dog? Was it meant to be iffy porn or were they just strung out on something or did they think it was a laugh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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